THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT: A HARD DAYS NIGHT Producer Walter Shenson hired Liverpool writer Alun Owen to write the script of what became "A Hard Day's Night" in late 1963. Shenson, Owen and director Richard Lester decided early on to make the film a comedy - depicting a fictionalized version of a day (or two) in the life of the Beatles. Lester decided it should be shot in a quasi-documentary style. To help him prepare for the project - Owen accompanied the Beatles on a couple of tour dates - which provided much of the inspiration for his script. He delivered the first version of the script in early 1964. There was just one further draft - and then the film was shot a couple of weeks later. Things moved very fast in the halcyon early 1960's! The original script was then tucked away in a file and forgotten until late 2000, when Beatles scholar Martin Lewis discovered it in the vaults of the film's producer - the late Walter Shenson. The original script is reproduced here for the very first time. And to provide maximum pleasure and perspective for readers - the transcript has some additional features. This presentation of the script also features a parallel transcription of the text on pages which match the original page numbers. Simply put - there are four different types of text in this transcript (see below for color coding). A) ORIGINAL SCRIPT - RETAINED IN FILM Words typed in the original first version of the script - which were subsequently shot and retained in the finished film. There were inevitably some very minor chanegs in some of the dialogue. In those instances - this transcript adheres to the original script - rather than the slight variations featured in the film. Such parts of the script are the main text of this transcript. B) ORIGINAL SCRIPT - NOT IN FILM There were naturally quite a few scenes and quite a lot of dialogue which appeared in the first draft of the film - but which did not make it into the finished film. Some scenes and lines of dialogue were simply dropped between the first draft and the shooting script. Other scenes and dialogue were filmed - but not incorporated in the finished film. Such parts of the script are indicated by being shown in grey and italic. C) SCENES IN FILM - NOT IN ORIGINAL SCRIPT As with any film - there were also some scenes and lines of dialogue which were NOT in the original script. All such scenes and dialogue have been transcribed from the film (including descriptive passages) - and have been inserted into this transcript. Such transcriptions of the film are indicated by being shown in green and italic. D) HANDWRITTEN NOTES ON THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT Many of the changes between the original script and the second (shooting) script - were noted on this original script in handwriting (a popular form of notation before computers!) To help readers decipher handwritten notes on the script - these have been transcribed. Such transcriptions of handwritten notes are indicated by being shown in red and italic. FINAL NOTE There are also some points in the script where scenes became incorporated in the finished film in a different sequence. Where possible - this transcript makes a notaton to this effect. So enjoy and have a look at this newly found piece of Beatles history available for the very first time. PAGE 1 1. EXTERIOR, STREETS OUTSIDE RAILWAY TERMINAL, DAY Song: "A Hard Day's Night" The film opens with crowds of girls, shot in a sequence of closeups, chasing after GEORGE, JOHN and RINGO. The boys hare off just ahead of them. They take a turn down a back alley way and the crowds of screaming girls are after them. They rush on through the narrow cobbled passageway and into the main station. 2. EXT TERMINAL Quickly show their tickets at the barrier for the London train. We see various bits of byplay: Paul, in a false beard, and an old man hide behind newspapers on a bench; George, John and Ringo vault a barrier and hide in a photo booth. and get onto the platform as hoards of yelling and screaming girls reach the closed gates. 3. EXT. TERMINAL PLATFORM We see the fans rushing to the few platform ticket machines, and endless pennies being dropped and tickets torn out in their haste to get onto the platform to see the boys. NELL has been waiting for the boys and he hurries them to where all their baggage, instruments and the drums are waiting, piled up to be put into the guards van. The boys turn and see the oncoming stream of girls pushing through the barriers and descending on them with yells and shouts. They grab their instruments, RINGO makes for the drums. NELL plugs into a handy transformer and using their instruments like a gun volley to stop the onrush of females, the boys blast fire into a number and start to sing. This stops the girls in their tracks and they settle down on whatever they can to listen to them playing. As the boys are playing, we CUT BACK into the crowds. In the centre we see PAUL struggling and pulling to fight his way through the girls to join the other boys. He is dragging a very reluctant old man behind him. The PAGE 2 old man seems most disgruntled and we can see by his gestures how unwilling he is to be pulled and pushed forward through all the girls. At last PAUL reaches the other boys. He sits the old man down on a pile of cases and joins in the number to the squeals of delight from the fans. The old man sits aloof and proud ignoring the whole proceedings. JOHN, GEORGE and RINGO look enquiringly at PAUL who gives a non committal shrug of the shoulders as if to say, "it's not my fault" and the number proceeds. Shot of sudden horror on JOHN's face. PAUL follows his eye line only to see the old man has doffed his cap and is busily collecting money from a disconcerted crowd. PAUL dives hastily into the crowd, and with suitable apologies extracts the old man and with a long suffering sigh drags him back to the group. GEORGE and PAUL hold him firmly as they finish the number, the old man standing there between them. As the number finishes and the girls scream and shout with delight, the guard blows his whistle. NELL & MAL grab the instruments and the drums, and with the rest piles the lot into the guards' van. The BOYS head into their reserved compartment pursued by the fans but the train moves off. They have successfully repelled all extra boarders. THE BOYS stand and wave to the fans until out of sight line . . . the girls running along to the end of the platform waving and calling out. PAGE 3 4. INTERIOR. RESERVED COMPARTMENT IN THE TRAIN The boys relax, sitting down on one side of the compartment. They are about to settle down and make themselves at home when first RINGO nudges GEORGE who in turn nudges JOHN. Opposite them is sitting the LITTLE OLD MAN. He is holding himself stiff, erect and very aloof. The three boys look at him enquiringly but with an elaborate sniff he looks away from them and out of the window. PAUL catches his eye and winks at the LITTLE OLD MAN. He winks back at PAUL, scowls at the other three then looks firmly out of the window again. The boys turn on PAUL crowding around him. JOHN: Eh . . pardon me for asking but who's that little old man? PAUL: Er What little old man? JOHN: (pointing) That little old man. PAUL: Oh, that one. That's me Grandfather. GEORGE: That's not your Grandfather. GEORGE: Your Grandfather? PAUL: Yeah. GEORGE: That's not your grandfather. PAUL: It is, y'know. GEORGE: But your Grandfather lives in your house. I've seen him. GEORGE: But I've seen your grandfather. He lives in your house. PAGE 4 PAUL: Oh, that's me other Grandfather, but this one's me Grandfather and all. PAUL: Oh, that's me other Grandfather, but he's my Grandfather as well. JOHN: How d'you reckon that one out? PAUL: Well . . . everyone's entitled to two, aren't they and this is me other one. RINGO: Oh definitely. JOHN: I see, so the one who lives in your house is your other one? PAUL: Aye, that's right. RINGO: Well, who's this one? PAUL: And this one's me other one. JOHN: (long suffering) Well we know that but what's he doing here? PAUL: Ah, well, you see, he was going to get married. JOHN: Now look, Paul, let's all sit down and take this one nice and easy. They all are eyeing the GRANDFATHER. As they do, the old man scowls back at them. JOHN: Now what's he doing here with you? PAGE 5 PAUL: Oh, I had to bring him. JOHN: Why? PAUL: Well, me mother thought the trip u'd do him good. RINGO: How's that? PAUL: Oh . . he's nursing a broken heart. JOHN: (off) Lah! The lads all look intently at the GRANDFATHER. GEORGE: Is he? PAUL: Yeah. JOHN: Aah . . the poor old thing. He leans across to GRANDFATHER. JOHN: Eh, Mister. . . are you nursing a broken heart then? The GRANDFATHER nods soulfully glares at him, in a way that indicates yes. PAUL: (whispering) You see, he was going to get married but she threw him over for a butcher. JOHN GEORGE: A Butcher? PAGE 6 PAUL: Yeah, she was fickle. JOHN: Aye and fond of fresh meat and all. PAUL: (seriously) No . . .it was his sweetbreads. She was dead kinky for sweetbreads. Anyroad, me mother thought it'ud be a good idea if I brought him with us . . you know. . just to give him a bit of a change of scenery, like. JOHN: Oh, I see. He inspects GRANDFATHER carefully. JOHN: (to PAUL) Eh, he's a nice old man, isn't ain't he? PAUL: Oh yeah, he's very clean, y'know. They all agree with PAUL RINGO: Oh yeah. GEORGE: Scubbed, Id' say. JOHN: And clean as well....so he's coming with us? GRANDFATHER preens himself proudly JOHN: So he's coming us? PAUL: Yeah. PAGE 7 GEORGE: All the way to London? RINGO: Well, you couldn't very well drop him off at Crowe, could you? GEORGE: Why not? Crowe could be a gear place. JOHN has been examining GRANDFATHER. He now leans forward to him and crosses to sit beside him. JOHN: (in an over-friendly voice) Hello, Grandfather! GRANDFATHER: Hello. JOHN: (delightedly) He can talk then, can he? PAUL: (indignantly) Course he can talk. He's a human being, like. Isn't he? RINGO: (grinning) Well . . . if he's your Grandfather, who knows? The lads all laugh. GRANDFATHER (raising his fists): Put 'em up, Lofty! RINGO: You what? GRANDFATHER dances around boxer -like in front of RINGO PAGE 8 GRANDFATHER: You broke the donkey's back when you insulted Battling John McCartney. It's fisticuff's and blooded noses now! PAUL: Down, Grandfather , Down boy, you're out of training. GRANDFATHER: (raging) I'll take him on wid one hand tied behind me back! PAUL:(whispering to Ringo) Apologise or he'll have you. RINGO:Will he? PAUL: They don't call him One Round McCartney for nothing. RINGO: I'm sorry, Grandfather. GRANDFATHER: (smiling) Granted as soon as asked. JOHN: Honest to Charley, it's going to be charming looking after a hard case like this one. JOHN: And we're looking after him, are we? GRANDFATHER: I'll look after meself. PAUL: standing up Aye, that's what I'm afraid of! JOHN: He's got you worried, then? PAGE 9 PAUL: Him? Listen, son, he's a villain. A right mixer tearaway and at a drop of a hat, he's engaged. He costs you a fortune in breach of promise cases. He's the Frank Sinatra of the Derby and Joan club. PAUL: (combing hair) He's a villain, and a real mixer and He costs you a fortune in breach of promise cases. JOHN GEORGE: (disbelieving) Gerron. GEORGE: You're kidding. PAUL: No, straight up. GRANDFATHER: The lad's given you the simple truth. I'm cursed wid irresistible charm, I'm too attractive to be let loose. RINGO: (interested) Is it a knack, like, or were you born with it? GRANDFATHER: (confidingly) A mixture of hereditry and experience. An unbeatable combination, son. PAUL: Aye and there's one other thing he forgot to mention. He's the biggest bloomin' liar that ever turned right past the isle of Men for Liverpool. GRANDFATHER: (beaming) He knows me well. At this moment, MAL, a tall man who works with the BOYS, pulls open the door of the compartment. MAL: Hi, yer. PAUL: Hello Mal. GEORGE: Hello Mal. MAL: You got on alright then? PAGE 10 BOYS: Hi, Mal JOHN: No. MAL: Oh well We're here. MAL: Nell'll be along in a mo' minute with the tickets. He sees GRANDFATHER. MAL: Morning! (whispers)Who's that little old man? GEORGE: It's Paul's grandfather. MAL: Oh aye, but I thought . . . JOHN: (cutting in) No, that's his other one. MAL: Oh That's alright then. JOHN: (displaying Grandfather) Clean though, isn't he? MAL: Oh yes, he's very clean alright. NELL the road manager appears behind MAL. NELL: Morning, lads. BOYS: Morning . . . Hi, Nell. NELL: (checking them quickly) Well, thank God you're all got here. Now, listen look, I've had this marvellous idea . . . now just for a change once, let's all behave like ordinary responsible citizens. Let's not cause any trouble, pull any strokes or do anything I'm going to be sorry for, especially to- morrow at the television theatre, because . . . He looks sharply at JOHN who is polishing his nails. sniffing a bottle of Pepsi. Are You listening to me, Lennon? JOHN: (off-hand) You're a swine, isn't he George Paul? PAUL GEORGE: (disinterested) Yeah . . . a swine. PAGE 11 NELL: (just as indifferent) Thanks. . . He sees the Grandfather. NELL: Eh . . . . BOYS IN CHORUS: . . . Who's that little old man? NELL: Well, who is he? RINGO: He belongs to Paul. NELL: (accepting the situation) Ah well, there you go. Eh, have you got a ticket for him? PAUL: Yeah. NELL: Oh , gear! Look, I'm going down the diner for a cup of coffee, are you Anyone coming? PAUL: We'll follow you down. GRANDFATHER rises. GRANDFATHER: I want me coffee. NELL: He can come with Mal and me if you like? PAUL: Well, look after him. I don't want to find you've lost him. PAGE 12 NELL: Don't be cheeky, I'll bind him to me with promises. Come on , Grandad. GRANDFATHER joins MAL and NELL. NELL: (over Grandfather's head) He's very clean, isn't he? Come on Grandad. PAUL: Stand up bath everyday. GRANDFATHER: And a cold sluice in the evening. NELL: Well, it shows, it really does. Come 'head. MAL and NELL collect GRANDFATHER and are in the process of leaving the compartment when a fat upper class city Englishman, JOHNSON, attempts to enter. There is a bit of confusion and they get tangled up with each other. JOHNSON: Make up your minds, damn will you! At last MAL, NELL and GRANDFATHER sort themselves out and the fat man JOHNSON enters with his case. The other three go to coffee. The fat man JOHNSON puts his case up on the luggage rack, then sits down. All his movements are disgruntled . . . he finally picks up his copy of the Financial Times and burying himself behind it, starts to read. PAUL: Good morning. RINGO: Morning. After a moment he looks up, notices the compartment window is open. He gets up and without so much as a 'by your leave' he closes it, glares at the BOYS and sits down again. The boys exchange looks as if to say . . . "Hello, Saucy!!" PAGE 13 RINGO: Oh, ho! PAUL: (politely) Do you mind if we have it opened? FATMAN JOHNSON: (briefly) Yes, I do. JOHN: Yeah, but there are four of us, like, and we'd like it open, if it's all the same to you, that is. FATMAN JOHNSON: (rudely) Well, it isn't. I travel on this train regularly twice a week, so I suppose I've some rights. RINGO: Aye, well, so have we. FAT MAN JOHNSON: But I happen to have a first class ticket. GEORGE: (indignantly) And us and all...well, our manager has anyroad. FAT MAN JOHNSON: (sarcastically) I suppose that's as good a story as any. He disappears behind his paper before the BOYS can say another word. start music RINGO pulls a face at the raised paper and switches on his portable radio. A pop number is playing. FAT MAN JOHNSON puts down his paper firmly. FAT MAN JOHNSON: And we'll have that thing off as well, thank you. RINGO: But I . . . FAT MAN JOHNSON leans over and switches it off. PAGE 14 FAT MAN JOHNSON: An elementary knowledge of the Railway Acts Subsection B & C's blue appendage would tell you I'm perfectly within my rights. He smiles frostily. PAUL: Yeah, but we want to hear it and there's more of us than you. We're a community, like, a majority vote. Up the workers and all that stuff! FAT MAN JOHNSON: Then I suggest you take that damned thing into the corridor or some other part of the train where you obviously belong. JOHN: (leaning forward to him) Gie's Give us a kiss! PAUL: Shurrup! Look, Mister, we've paid for our seats too, you know. FAT MAN JOHNSON: I travel on this train regularly, twice a week. JOHN: Knock it off, Paul, y' can't win with his sort. After all, it's his train, isn't it, Mister? FAT MAN JOHNSON: And don't you take that tone with me, young man! JOHN: Otherwise you'll beat me into the ground with the blue sub-section B &C. PAGE 15 GEORGE: To say nothing of the appendage. But. . . FAT MAN JOHNSON: (accusingly) I fought the war for your sort. RINGO: Bet you're sorry you won! FAT MAN JOHNSON: I'll shall call the guard! PAUL: Aye . . . but what? They don't take kindly to insults you know. Ah, come on, you lot. Let's have a cup of some coffee and leave Toby the manger the kennel to Lassie. The boys troop out of the door into the corridor. The fat man JOHNSON smiles triumphantly. He is about to settle down to his paper when there is a tap on the corridor window. He looks up and we see pressed against the window a collection of hideous Beatle faces. PAUL: Eh, Mister . . . can we have our ball back! The FATMAN jumps to his feet into the corridor. Surreal shot of the BOYS running alongside the train, banging on the window. PAUL: Hey Mister . . . Hey. . PAUL: Hey Mister - Mister - can we have our ball back? JOHN: Hey - hey - Mister. . . PAUL and JOHN: Hey Mister - hold on - Can we have our ball back? BOYS carry RINGO past the interior compartment window as if he is wounded. BOYS: Hey Mister . . . can we have our ball back! 5. INTERIOR, OF THE CORRIDOR The BOYS run away like a pack of school boys and disappear round the corner. The MAN shouts after them. FAT MAN: Louts! Hooligans! You'll hear more of this !! 6. INTERIOR, OF THE CORRIDOR From the P.O.V. of the door leading to the Restaurant car. The BOYS come down the corridor in full flight, PAGE 16 laughing away like happy idiots. GEORGE & PAUL pull open the sliding doors. The BOYS look inside. 7. INTERIOR, RESTAURANT CAR From their P.O.V. we see the car is half empty and at a table in the centre MAL and NELL & GRANDFATHER are sitting. On the table is a pile of photos of the boys. NELL and MAL are arguing. NELL is being very aggressive, much to MAL's discomfort. NELL: Yeah, you want to watch it. MAL: (unhappily) Well It's not my fault. NELL: Well, you stick to that story, son. MAL: I can't help it, I'm just taller than you are. GRANDFATHER: (To NELL slyly) They always say that. NELL: Yeah, well I got me eye on you. MAL: I'm sorry Nell, but I can't help being taller than you. NELL: Well, you don't have to rub me nose in it. I've a good mind to . . . (He is about to thump MAL.) NELL: Well don't rub it in. . . I've got a good mind to thump you Mal. JOHN: (enjoying himself) Hey If you're going to have a barney I'll hold your coats. NELL: He started it. MAL: No, I didn't you did . . . MAL: I did not - you did. GEORGE: Well, what happened? PAGE 16a MAL: The old fella wanted these pictures and Nell said he couldn't have 'em, all, I said was "aw go on, be big about it." MAL: The old fella said that could he have these pictures, and Nell said 'No' and all I said was "Well why not be big about it?" PAUL: And? NELL: Your Grandfather pointed out Mal was always being taller than me just to spite me. PAUL: I knew it, he started it, I should have known. NELL: Y'what? PAUL: You two have never had a quarrel argument in your life and in two minutes flat he's got you at it. He's a king mixer. Adam and Eve, meet the serpent. Anthony and Cleopatra, there's your asp. Divide and Conquer, that's this one's motto. He hates group unity so he gets everyone at it. The BOYS, i.e. JOHN, GEORGE & RINGO, look at each other then at PAUL. PAUL: Aye & we'll have to watch it and all. GEORGE: Well I suggest you just give him the photos and have done with it. NELL: You're right, here you are old devil. MAL and NELL leave NELL: Ah alright you old devil, here y'are. GRANDFATHER grins triumphantly and collects them, then with a sweet smile he turns to PAUL. PAGE 17 GRANDFATHER: Would Pauly you ever sign this one for us, Pauly? NELL: Ah, come out Mal. MAL and NELL leave. PAUL does so automatically but in the middle of signing he gets suspicious. GRANDFATHER smiles at him charmingly so PAUL finishes signing. JOHN: Come on let's get this coffee. GRANDFATHER: Before you go, I think It's only fair to warn you about me Grandson . . . don't let our Paul have his own way all the time, 'cos if you do he won't respect you! JOHN, RINGO & GEORGE take this up straight away. They all pretend to be girls, RINGO jumps into PAUL's arms. GEORGE: (coyly) Oh, PAUL, you can't have your own way!!! JOHN: (invitingly, in a Marlene Dietrich voice) If I let you have your own way, you little rascal, will you respect me? PAGE 18 PAUL: (choked) I'll murder you, Grandfather! JOHN waltzes PAUL down to an empty table and the lads sit down. PAUL: It's alright for you lot, but you can see what's going to happen, we're going to have trouble with him all day! JOHN: Where do you get all this "we" stuff, he's your Grandfather...not ours. PAUL: (bitterly) That's what I always say, you can rely on your mates when you're in trouble. RINGO: Ah, we'll help you, Paul...as long as you respect us after!! GEORGE: Eh, look at that talent. They all gaze across the aisle. From their P.O.V. we see two very attractive young girls, RITA and JEAN, having coffee. JOHN: Let's Give 'em a pull. PAUL: Shall Should I? GEORGE: Aye, but don't rush. None of your five bar gate jumps and over sort of stuff. PAUL: Now what's that supposed to mean? PAGE 19 GEORGE: (grinning) I don't really know, but it I supposed it sounded distinguished, like, didn't it? JOHN: George Harrison, The Scouse of Distinction. PAUL: Belt up, the lot of you. We follow PAUL as he crosses over to the two girls. He places a bowler on his head. PAUL: Excuse me, madame. (in posh accent) Excuse me, but these young men I'm sitting with wondered if two of us could join you; I'd ask you meself only I'm shy. The two girls giggle together. JOHN & GEORGE are about to move over when GRANDFATHER suddenly appears by their sides. GRANDFATHER: (sternly) I'm sorry, miss, but you mustn't fraternise with my prisoners. JEAN: Prisoners!! GRANDFATHER: Convicts in transit to Wormwood Scrubs. Typical old lags, the lot of 'em. THE BOYS: Y'what!!! GRANDFATHER: Get out ladies! Get out while you can! PAGE 20 GRANDFATHER: Quiet, you lot, or I'll give you a touch of me truncheon. He points at Ringo. GRANDFATHER: That little one's the worst. If we don't keep him on tablets he has fits. RINGO: (protesting) Now look here!! GRANDFATHER grabs two lumps of sugar from the table and forces them into RINGO'S mouth. GRANDFATHER: Get out while you can, ladies, his time's coming round for one of his turns. The frightened girls scurry out of the Restaurant car. The boys look in amazement and horror at GRANDFATHER. They are completely flabbergasted. GRANDFATHER smiles at them benignly. PAUL: What did you think you were up to? GRANDFATHER: That's even stephens...if I can't have me little drop of pleasure wid the cards...I'm putting the bar on you lot and the ladies. JOHN: (to Paul) Give him his cards back. PAGE 20 GRANDFATHER: Quiet, you lot, or I'll give you a touch of me truncheon. He points at Ringo. GRANDFATHER: That little one's the worst. If we don't keep him on tablets he has fits. RINGO: (protesting) Now look here!! GRANDFATHER grabs two lumps of sugar from the table and forces them into RINGO'S mouth. GRANDFATHER: Get out while you can, ladies, his time's coming round for one of his turns. The frightened girls scurry out of the Restaurant car. The boys look in amazement and horror at GRANDFATHER. They are completely flabbergasted. GRANDFATHER smiles at them benignly. PAUL: What did you think you were up to? GRANDFATHER: That's even stephens...if I can't have me little drop of pleasure wid the cards...I'm putting the bar on you lot and the ladies. JOHN: (to Paul) Give him his cards back. PAGE 24 MAL: Oh Well, give him a couple of minutes then . . . He resumes reading. But NELL goes on worrying. 9. INTERIOR OF ANOTHER RAILWAY COMPARTMENT Grandfather is in full flight of conversation with a charming elderly lady, AUDREY, who is listening intently. GRANDFATHER: (proudly) Yes, I'm their manager, I discovered them. LADY AUDREY: Did you indeed, Mr. McCartney? GRANDFATHER: Now, Audrey, I told you, the name's John. We show biz people are a friendly lot. AUDREY: Of course, John. GRANDFATHER: Yes, they were playing the queues outside the picture palaces of Liverpool. Scruffy young lads, lacking even the price of a jam roll. Orphans, every Paddy's son of 'em. I saw their potential at once although I had me doubts about the little fella, a savage primitive, that Ringo, but it was him what gave in first. He picked up a brick and heaved it at me and I quelled him wid one fierce flash of me eyes. "Mister, can you spare us a copper?" he said. I was disarmed by the grubby little outstretched mauler . . . So, I took them under me managerial banner. PAGE 25 LADY AUDREY: How kind of you. GRANDFATHER: Oh, I'm all heart, Ma'am, all heart . . . Well, I even let . . .one of them use the fair name McCartney. the poor lad hadn't a name you could bandy about in mixed company. LADY AUDREY: Good gracious. Do go on . . . GRANDFATHER: I will, I will, well, I dressed them up in. . . FADE 10. INTERIOR OF THE BOYS COMPARTMENT NELL and MAL (who is still reading) are seated alone. NELL: He's not back. MAL: (not looking up) No, I don't suppose he is. . (after though) Who? NELL: (rising in disgust) Well, come on, we'd better find him. MAL: (putting his book down) You worry too much. NELL: Well, someone's got to. Come 'head, give us a hand. He pulls MAL to his feet. PAGE 26 MAL: Honest to Charlie! They go out into the Corridor INTERIOR CORRIDOR OF TRAIN NELL and MAL meet with the BOYS as they are returning from coffee. NELL: Eh Hey, have you got seen Paul's grandfather? JOHN: Of course, he's concealed about me person. NELL: No . . . he's must have slipped off somewhere. PAUL: (accusingly) Have you lost him? NELL: Now Don't exaggerate. PAUL: You've lost him. MAL: Look Put it this way Pauly, he's mislaid him. PAUL: Honest You can't trust you with anything, Nell. If you've lost him, I'll cripple you. MAL: He can't be have got far. JOHN: I hope he fell off. PAUL: (mildly) Don't be callous NELL: Come out, lets look up the sharp end. GEORGE: What's the matter with you, then. RINGO and GEORGE are looking out a window together. RINGO: He It's grandfather. I can tell he doesn't like me, honest, I can tell . . . It's 'cos I'm little. PAGE 27 GEORGE: Ah You've got an inferiority complex, you have. RINGO: Yeah, I know, that's why I took up play the drums. It's me active compensatory factor. JOHN: Oh, bound to be. PAUL: Have you finished? Cos if you have you may not have noticed but (pointing to Nell) . . he's lost my grandfather. JOHN: Well, he's a swine. PAUL: I know that but don't just stand there. Spread out and scour for him. RINGO: Scour for him? JOHN: That's grammar school for look. PAUL: Come 'head. JOHN and PAUL run down the corridor. MAL and NELL turn from the door and go in the opposite direction, GEORGE and RINGO follow after the other two boys. 11. INTERIOR CORRIDOR OF TRAIN PAUL & JOHN look into various compartments. CLOSE SHOT of RINGO looking into compartments in the manner of Groucho Marx. In one of the compartments we see from RINGO'S P.O.V. the occupant, a glamorous woman, TANIA, with a small lap dog. PAGE 28 She is beautifully and most expensively dressed. She looks up and sees RINGO. RINGO smiles at her and she smiles back. She then beckons him to join her. He looks around to see if she means someone else. She nods a negative. RINGO looks back enquiringly then points at himself as if to say: "Who, me?" TANIA smiles enthusiastically. GEORGE has been watching all this. GEORGE: Are you going in, then? RINGO: No, she'll only reject me in the end and I'll be frustrated. GEORGE: You never know, you might be lucky this time. RINGO: No, I know the psychological pattern and it plays hell havoc with me drum skins. He blows the glamorous lady a kiss. She blows RINGO a kiss back but he then moves sadly on. 12. INTERIOR, FURTHER DOWN THE CORRIDOR PAUL enters a compartment followed by JOHN. The TWO GIRLS, RITA and JEAN, from the restaurant car are sitting there. PAUL: Excuse me but have you seen that little old man we were with? PAGE 29 The girls look terrified. The girls jump up, surprised. JOHN: We've broken out, oh, the blessed freedom of it all! (he extends his hands as if handcuffed.) Eh, have you got a nail file, these handcuffs are killing me. I was framed. I was innocent. JOHN: Let go. . I don't want to go. PAUL: Will you stop it! PAUL: Sorry to disturb for disturbing you,miss girls. He starts to drag JOHN after him JOHN: I bet you can guess what I was in for. JOHN is now by the door, he leers at the girls horribly. JOHN: I was innocent. I was framed. I won't go back. He cackles like a maniac before disappearing, the door closing after him. 13. INTERIOR, TRAIN CORRIDOR PAUL: You want to try growing up a bit. JOHN: What are you going to be when you're "mature," Paul? RINGO & GEORGE join them PAUL: Any luck? GEORGE: He's not down there. JOHN: And he's not up here. A waiter carrying a tray with champagne and glasses on it passes into one of the compartments with the blinds down. PAGE 30 PAUL: How about that one? He moves towards the compartment. PAUL: to John to Ringo and George Did you Should we look go in here? GEORGEJOHN: No. I mean, It's probably a honeymoon couple or a company director or something. PAUL: Well let's I don't care, I'm going to broaden our(my outlook. PAUL opens the door of the compartment. 14. INTERIOR OF COMPARTMENT From the BOYS' P.O.V. we see GRANDFATHER and the elderly lady, AUDREY, sipping champagne and nibbling caviar on toast. GRANDFATHER: (looking up) Congratulate me, boys, I'm engaged. PAUL enters and crosses over to him. PAUL: Oh no you're not, not this time. You've gone too far this time . . . and who's paying for all this? GRANDFATHER: It's all taken care of. It's down on our bill. PAUL: Oh, well that's alright (realising) What? LADY AUDREY: Young man, kindly moderate your tone when you address my fiance. PAGE 31 PAUL: I'm sorry, Missus, but the betrothal's off. (He grabs Grandfather by the arm.) I'll refuse me consent, he's over-age! LADY AUDREY grabs Grandfather's other arm and pulls back. LADY AUDREY: Leave him alone, after all he's done for you is this the way you repay him. A tug of war now starts between PAUL and LADY AUDREY. PAUL: (pulling) Him? he's never done anything for anybody in his life. LADY AUDREY: (pulling) You dare to say that when even those ridiculous clothes you are wearing were bought when you forced him to sell out his gilt edged Indomitables!! JOHN & GEORGE jump on the seat egging PAUL & LADY AUDREY on. JOHN: Come on, Auntie, you're winning. GEORGE: Get in there, Paul, she's weakening. RINGO attempts to interfere. RINGO: Look, Missus, this is all a misunderstanding, you see, he's . . . LADY AUDREY: Keep away from me, you depraved lout, I know all about your terrible past. RINGO: Y'what? She hits RINGO with her handbag and continues struggling with PAUL for Grandfather. PAGE 32 OMITTED PAGE 33 PAGE 32 out RINGO grabs her hand bag to stop her hitting him RINGO: He's given me a bad character, blackguarding me name to all and sundry. He's got to be stopped. It's not fair. RINGO pushes out into the corridor, forgetting that he is holding the woman's handbag. A voice shouts off from outside. VOICE OFF: That's one of them stealing that bag 15. INTERIOR CORRIDOR from Ringo's P.O.V. we see down to the right the fat city man, JOHNSON, approaching with a GUARD and a railway person rapidly approaching. RINGO turns the other way to the left when he is joined by three other boys. From their P.O.V. down the corridor we see the waiter coming armed with kitchen utensils followed by the two girls the two girls, autograph books in hand, followed by ten girls from the same school. Both groups are closing in on the BOYS. There's no escape. C.U. on RINGO'S face. RINGO: looking down at the handbag in his hand Oh Mother!! 16. INTERIOR, LUGGAGE VAN Very dark, and behind bars we see GRANDFATHER. He is sitting crouched up on a wooden box tea chest and looks pretty miserable. He turns towards the camera, in the foreground of the SHOT we see PAUL standing. In the background an impassive GUARD is reading a paper which he does throughout the scene. GRANDFATHER: (bitterly) And to think me own grandson would have let them put me behind bars! PAUL: Don't dramatise. PAGE 34 The camera pulls back and we see GRANDFATHER in the luggage compartment of the guards van. In with him are a crate of chickens and a dog . The chickens peck at him, GRANDFATHER moves listlessly away. PAUL: Let's face it, you're lucky to be here. If they'd have had their way you'd have been dropped off at Stafford already. GRANDFATHER proudly turns away from PAUL who dodges round so he can still see his face. PAUL: Well, you've got to admit you've upset a lot of people. At least I can keep my eye on you while you're stuck in here. GRANDFATHER turns away again. PAUL: Alright, how about Ringo? I mean . . . he's very upset, you know . . . and as far as your girlfriend, little Audrey's concerned, she's finished with men for the rest of her natural, and another thing . . . GRANDFATHER: A harmless bit of fun, aah, none of you have any sense of humour left these days. PAUL: Oh, it's alright for you but those two girls were scared to death! Honest, Grandad, why? I mean, why do you do these things? GRANDFATHER: cutting in You're left-handed, aren't you, Paul? PAUL: Yeah . . . so what? PAGE 35 GRANDFATHER: Why do you always use your left hand? PAUL: Well, don't be daft, I've got to. GRANDFATHER: And I take a left-handed view of life, I've got to. PAUL grins. PAUL: (ruefully) I daren't tell me mother. GRANDFATHER: No, you don't want to do that. PAUL surveys the scene. The old man, the chickens and the dog, the lost. When he speaks it is with amused pride. PAUL: You're feckless, aren't you? GRANDFATHER: I am. PAUL: Irresponsible. GRANDFATHER: Completely. PAUL: Not to put too fine a point on it, you're an old chancer. GRANDFATHER gives PAUL a miserable wink. After a moment of looking at him, PAUL opens the door of the luggage compartment and joins GRANDFATHER on a box. PAUL: Shove up! PAGE 36 GRANDRATHER: Ah Paul, you're the real McCartney. GRANDFATHER produces a penny. GRANDFATHER: Odds or evens? PAUL sighs. PAUL: Odds. GRANDFATHER flips the coin. As they start to play odds and even the guards van door opens and JOHN, GEORGE & RINGO come in, with them are the girls, RITA and JEAN. JOHN: (as he sees PAUL behind the bars) Don't worry, son, we'll get you the best lawyer trading green stamps can buy. PAUL: Oh, It's a laugh a line with Lennon. GEORGE: You can come out, Paul, Nell's fixed it all up. JOHN: The smooth talking swine. PAUL: Aye well, I said it before and I'll say it again, I'm stopping with my Grandfather. GEORGE: Keeping your eye on him, you mean. PAUL: Oh no, he's sorry, aren't you, Scout? (to Grandfather) GRANDFATHER: Uh! PAGE 37 GRANDFATHER: Oh, I am, Ringo, I am, me young heart. I behaved like a Ruffian and I'm stuffed wid regrets. . .shake, me old scuff. He outstretches his hand. RINGO eyes the hand suspiciously then finally takes it. RINGO: Alright but I'm dropping me guard. (with dignity) I dont care to have me finer feelings trampled under foot, especially by your dirty great pair of hob nailed boots. PAUL:(to Ringo) Anyroad up . . . It's all your fault. RINGO: Why me? JOHN: Why not you? JOHN has been looking around the guards van. JOHN: Gaw, It's depressing in here, isn't it? Funny. . . (he pats the dog.) 'cos they usually reckon dogs more than people in England, don't they? You'd expect something a little more palatial. (he shudders.) Come on. Let's have a little action. Let's do something, then. He produces a deck of cards. PAUL: Like what? JOHN: Well, I've got me gob stopper. (He produces his mouth organ.) GRANDFATHER: I've me Jew's Harp. JOHN: Have you? GRANDFATHER produces it. PAGE 38 JOHN: Look, a genuine Stradivarious, hand tooled at Dagenham. Go on, gie's a twange. GRANDFATHER twanges expertly. JOHN: I'll catch you up in the middle eight. JOHN: Mmm. PAUL: Okay. (As the BOYS begin to play), the GIRLS John and Paul saw earlier arrive. GEORGE: Cor, here's the girls. RINGO: I'll deal. JOHN: Aye, aye, the Liverpool shuffle. Two to you, two to me, three to him. Song: "I Should Have Known Better" And to Ringo's beat on a tea chest they are off, PAUL and GEORGE improvising other sounds, much to the GIRLS' delight. During the number, GRANDFATHER quietly lets the latch off the chicken crate and chickens begin to wander through the scene. 17. EXTERIOR, TRAIN IN MOTION FROM ABOVE While the number is progressing, the train is getting nearer and nearer to London. 18. EXTERIOR, PLATFORM TERMINUS SHOTS of the station full of GIRLS waiting for the BOYS. 19. INTERIOR, GUARDS VAN By the time the number finishes the train pulls up with a sharp halt that sends them all sprawling, BOYS and GIRLS. JOHN: He's riding his lucky wave. RINGO: All mine. JOHN: It won't buy you happiness, my son. NELL enters the guards' van. An impatient guard is reading the paper. NELL: Hey Don't move, any of you. They've gone potty out there. The whole place is surging with girls. JOHN: Please sir - sir, can I have one to surge with sir? . . .please sir. NELL: No. JOHN: Ah, go on, you swine. NELL: No, you can't. Look Now listen, as soon as I tell you, run get out through this door here and into the big car that's waiting. He points and we see a big car parked across the road. PAGE 39 The BOYS prepare to depart, lining up with GRANDFATHER at the door. 20. EXTERIOR, PLATFORM TERMINUS Just as they are ready to go a line of taxis draws up parallel to the train and now separates them from the big car waiting for them. NELL: Oh no! GRANDFATHER pushes past the BOYS, holding his coat closed. NELL: Come on lads, come out. GRANDFATHER: Alright, lads, follow me. And before NELL can stop him, he darts out of the door, PAUL after him. The fans further down the platform see PAUL and charge forward . . . in a panic NELL and the others follow, JOHN just having time to kiss both the girls. JOHN: Vive l'amour! NELL drags him away. 21. EXTERIOR, RAILWAY STATION The BOYS manage to follow GRANDFATHER by leaping onto a motorized luggage carrier, GEORGE driving and the other three posing as a frozen tableau on the back. GRANDFATHER has arrived at a taxi door. He flings it open and runs through, opening the other door, thus making a safe bridge to the car. The BOYS follow and manage to make it to the big car safely. They run towards grandfather's taxi. The FANS have followed the BOYS and we see streams of GIRLS piling through all the taxis one of which contains JOHNSON the city man, opening and shutting the doors to get through, much to the indignation of the TAXI DRIVERS. 22. INTERIOR, BIG CAR NELL is sitting in front with the driver. FRANK, the four BOYS and GRANDFATHER are squashed together in the back. PAGE 40 NELL: (to the driver) Go like the clappers, son! DRIVER FRANK: (smoothly) That was my entire intention, sir. MAL, having seen the BOYS, NELL, and GRANDFATHER successfully escape, has been left on the baggage platform with all of the equipment. He sighs and begins loading it up. 24. EXTERIOR, STATION The car moves off surrounded by the fans; from a height we see them converge on the car but it moves forcefully out of the station and off. It moves into the traffic in the main road and the journey to the hotel studios begins. 25. INTERIOR, BIG CAR The boys have settled down. JOHN: Should I say it? GEORGE: Follow your impulse. RINGO: It'll only get you into trouble. JOHN: (to RINGO) Aah, shurrup, misery! JOHN slouches forward. JOHN: (urgently) O.K. Driver, follow that car!! The driver, Frank, is an urbane young man in a handsome grey uniform. DRIVER FRANK: (indicating the traffic) Would you like to be a little more precise sir? PAGE 41 JOHN: Well, that's the wrong line for a start. DRIVER FRANK: Sorry? (meaning: "I beg your pardon.") GEORGE: Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he was just fulfilling a lifelong ambition. DRIVER FRANK: I see. JOHN: Yeah, you know, "O.K. Buster, follow that car, there's a sawbuck in it for you if you get real close!" DRIVER FRANK: Oh, yes, now I'm with you. (he changes his accent) But, gee, Mister, I've got my license to think of . . . JOHN leans over delightedly , he flashes his wallet JOHN: Ever seen one of these before? DRIVER FRANK: Ah . . . a shamus , eh? JOHN:Sure but I've got friends in City Hall and every Precinct house in L.A. The driver examines JOHN through his driving mirror. DRIVER FRANK: Now I got you, 'ain't you Regan O' Toole, operating out of San Berdoo? JOHN: I see you go to the night court. DRIVER FRANK: I've made the scene. PAGE 42 JOHN: Well, remember, its Leathery Magee up ahead in that convertible, so cover me in the stake out. GEORGE: I don't think that bit's right. JOHN: What do you expect from an ad lib . . . Raymond Chandler? EXTERIOR, street As the big car overtakes a little mini, JOHN lowers his window and the boys let out an imaginary hail of bullets. INTERIOR, CAR RINGO: Are we still coppers? JOHN: No. . . this is the get away car. GRANDFATHER: (joining in the game) It's not good, boy's they've got me . . . He slumps back into PAUL'S arm in the corner. JOHN: You rotten little scene stealer! GRANDFATHER: I'm going fast, lads, but remember, I died a soldier for Ireland. JOHN leans over, fountain pen in hand. JOHN: Don't worry, Private McCartney, I will inject you with this miracle drug (he jabs Grandfather with the pen) You're cured . . . that's alright, don't thank me. . . GEORGE: Good lad, John. PAGE 43 26. INTERIOR CAR NELL: Will you all stop it, you're like a gang of school kids. I knew this was going to happen one day. JOHN: as Ringo and Paul climb in Well, you shouldn't have had bacon for your breakfast, you cannibal. DRIVER FRANK: (to Nell) We're nearly there, sir. JOHN: Eh . . . don't call him sir, he's got enough delusions of power as it is. CLOSE SHOT of a long suffering NELL. NELL: And I was happy in the Bakery. I'll never know why I left. 27. EXTERIOR OF AN OLD VICTORIAN MUSIC HALL THEATRE Which has been converted to the T.V. studios. There are a few groups of girl fans standing outside the front of the theatre, but against the kerb of the pavement are parked three or four grocery bikes, the baskets full of groceries. The grocery lads are standing nearby clutching bits of paper to get the boys autographs. is a night-watchman's canvas hut and brazier. The car approaches. 28. INTERIOR, CAR **This scene appears in what would be Scene 35 of the movie** NELL: Get ready John, open the door and as it draws up, out you go and straight in. As soon as we draw up open that door and straight in. JOHN nods and opens the door. The FANS start to swarm 'round them. To escape, the BOYS dash into the night-watchman's canvas hut, pick it up and run with it to the stage door, revealing the night-watchman, staring in astonishment. At the door the BOYS put the hut down and enter the theatre. PAGE 44 MISSING PAGE 45 MISSING PAGE 46 JOHN: Aye, you're just sexually exhausted. 29. INTERIOR STAGE DOOR ENTRANCE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 36 of the movie** NELL turns to JOHN indignantly and is about to answer. As the BOYS enter, two P.R.O. men in dark suits, stiff white collars and old school ties step forward and smile menacingly. FIRST P.R.O. MAN: (menacingly) Press conference, they're waiting for you. FIRST P.R.O.: We can't wait much longer. we'll just have to start. SECOND P.R.O.: Come on boys. Hurry up. FIRST P.R.O.: Where have you been? There's a Press Conference you knew we were arranging. NELL: (jovially) Yes all right Give us a couple of shakes to get our breath. FIRST P.R.O. MAN: (more menacingly) They're waiting now! And without more ado they grab an arm each and march the protesting NELL towards the stairs that lead to the dress circle. PAUL: Eh this lot means it. They're even taking hostages. JOHN: We always wear our handkerchiefs in our trouser pockets. You can't blow your nose on it up there, can you, Mister? FIRST P.R.O.: No you can't. The BOYS, MAL and GRANDFATHER rush after the rapidly disappearing NELL, who by now is half way up the stairs. 30. INTERIOR, OF DRESS CIRCLE LOUNGE BALLROOM **This scene appears in what would be Scene 37 in the movie** It is empty except for two barmaids poised ready to serve, standing behind trestle tables full of drinks and sandwiches. The dark suited MEN enter with NELL and close behind them follows GRANDFATHER, MAL and the boys. The group arrives at the centre of the lounge and have time to look about and see the food but before they can get to it, from all directions Newspapermen and Photographers converge upon them. PAGE 47 Now begins an elaborate tug-of-war between various photographers using their flash attachments and reporters to capture a Beatle and in the midst of this running battle a man with a portable recorder is trying to interview them. Together and singly the BOYS are pushed about the room and while this goes on a hard core of newspapermen are busily devouring sandwiches and pouring them- selves drinks, to the annoyance of the BARMAIDS. Every time one of the boys attempts to get a sandwich or a drink, it is either too late, the plate is empty or they are intercepted. The single and constant thing we see in the scene is the pushing and pulling, heavy impersonal handling, the boys are just things to be placed like still life in one advantageous position after another. During the scene these individual exchanges take place. SOUND REPORTER: What's your philosophy of life? JOHN: I'm torn between Zen and I'm alright, Jack. REPORTER: Has success changed your life? RINGO: Yes. REPORTER: Do you like playing the guitar? GEORGE: Next to kissing girls It's favourites. REPORTER: How about music? PAUL: I've always liked that question. JOHN: I never noted his nose until about six months ago. GEORGE: And me mother asked me before we left for America if we wanted any sandwiches. RINGO: And when I plugged her in she just blew up. REPORTER: Tell me how did you find America? JOHN: Turn left at Greenland. REPORTER: Has success changed your life? GEORGE: Yes. PAUL: I'd like to keep Britain tidy. REPORTER: Are you a mod or a rocker? RINGO: Uh, no, I'm a mocker. REPORTER: (to John) Have you any hobbies?)(JOHN scribbles an answer on a piece of paper. PAUL is surrounded by newspapermen. PAUL: No, actually, we're just good friends. REPORTER: Do you think these haircuts have come to stay? RINGO: Well, this one has you know, stuck on good and proper now. REPORTER: Oh frightfully nice. REPORTER: What would you call that hairstyle you're wearing? GEORGE: Arthur. PAUL: No, actually we're just good friends. RINGO: No not really. REPORTER: What do you call that collar? RINGO: Oh a collar. REPORTER: Do you often see your father? PAUL: No, actually we're just good friends. REPORTER: How do you like your girlfriends to dress? RINGO: (laughs) PAGE 48 HIGH SHOT of the press reception and we see the BOYS ease their way out until they get to the curtained entrance to the dress circle; completely unnoticed, they slip through. 31. INTERIOR, THEATRE DRESS CIRCLE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 38 of the movie** The BOYS come up the stairs into the Dress Circle proper. GRANDFATHER & MAL are sitting there having a picnic of beer and sandwiches. GEORGE: Come on - drag that was, wasn't it? Couldn't even get a jam buttie, could you? JOHN: No, I didn't get anything. PAUL: (ironically, to Grandfather and Mal) Anything to spare left? GRANDFATHER: We've just finished, Pauly. Hey George, write us your John Henry on this that picture. GEORGE: Sure. (He does so). PAUL: Ah well. Ay, look at that. RINGO: What's up? PAUL: It's all se down there. He points, and from PAUL'S P.O.V. we see on stage, the setting up of the show, scenery and lights, cameras and sound equipment are being put into position by a small army of studio staff. DANCERS and SINGERS are milling about as well. PAUL: Let's go and muck in. JOHN: Aye, before anyone stops us. JOHN: Well, should we go down and have a go? They exit to rows of the dress circle and go through the entrance down the narrow stairs to the stalls and on to the stage that is built and extended right into the stalls, which are partly covered up. PAUL: (as they are hidden from view) Come on lads, trees and everything. RINGO: There's a - there's a lot of fellers for one set. PAUL: I love trees. GEORGE: Look at the birds. PAUL: Just passing through the lights. JOHN: Where are ye? PAUL: Here . . . here. How'd you do? RINGO: Morning. PAUL: Hey Nell, have you got my guitar? we'll have a tune up. 32. INTERIOR, STAGE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 39 in the movie** Everyone is so busy that they hardly notice the BOYS, who wander about and examine the studio equipment. A load of three drum sets are being brought on stage and a voice shouts out: VOICE: Here, what about these electric guitars? MAL: Where are they? PAGE 49 VOICE: Back here, mate. MAL: (going towards the voice) I'm coming. RINGO is busy setting up his drums, and men are setting up the other sets. He drops a stick and the floor manager retrieves it and is about to tap the drum. The floor manager is a languid young man. RINGO: Leave them drums alone. FLOOR MANAGER: Oh, surely one can have a tiny touch. I can just have a little touch. RINGO: If you so much as breathe heavy on them, I'm out on strike. FLOOR MANAGER: Aren't you being rather arbitrary? RINGO: Tha's right retreat There you go hiding behind a smoke screen of bourgeois cliches. I don't go round messing about with your ear-phones, do I? FLOOR MANAGER: Spoil sport! RINGO: Well! RINGO fusses like a mother hen clucking over his drums. The FLOOR MANAGER is furious. GEORGE: He's very touchy about those his drums, they loom large in his legend. RINGO gives his drums a defiant crash and JOHN and PAUL stop what ever they are up to and hurry over. PAUL: What's up? PAGE 50 GEORGE: (pointing) Oh He's sulking again. JOHN: I'll show him. Song: "If I Fell" He picks up a set of drum sticks and bashes back at RINGO, who does a more complicated drum roll. GEORGE now joins in and to PAUL'S encouragement a drum duel starts completely naturally and improvised. During this encounter the work proceeds around them and the guitars are brought on and MAL sets them to working order. PAUL first, then JOHN and GEORGE take up their own instruments and out of the drum duel emerges one of their numbers. JOHN picks up his guitar and begins playing. The intro of the song "If I Fell" has no percussion and RINGO sulkily continues to adjust his kit, but by the time the song is over he is smiling and playing. JOHN: Pardon, pardon, excuse. Pardon RINGO: Yes? JOHN: I'd like more drums, there. PAUL: I think It's on the third bit . . . GEORGE: Yes, yes. JOHN: On the third bit - there - more drums. 33. INTERIOR, RAMP **This scene appears in what would be Scene 40 of the movie** As the number finishes a baldheaded man, he is the T.V. director storms down the ramp that leads from the control box under the dress circle. Although the rage is voluble, it is weak and the man lacks an air of conviction. DIRECTOR: with over-exaggerated calm Alright I'm sorry and let's hear no more about it. If that's your opinion Cut - let's hear no more about it you're probably right. Look, if you think I'm unsuitable let's have it out in the open, I can't stand these back- stage politics. By the end of this speech he is standing in front of JOHN who takes the scene in his stride. JOHN: Aren't you tending to black and white this whole situation? DIRECTOR: Well, quite honestly I wasn't expecting "a musical arranger" who whould to question my ability . . . picture-wise. JOHN: (to the others) I could listen to him for hours. PAUL: Heave tooWhat's all this about a musical arranger? PAGE 51 DIRECTOR: Mr. McCartney Senior! The boys have a giggle at the very idea and at this moment GRANDFATHER appears from behind the DIRECTOR. GRANDFATHER: Hey Pauly, they're trying to fob you off wid this musical charlatan but I've given him the test. DIRECTOR: (bravely) I'm quite happy to be replaced and don't think I don't get the lay of the land. GRANDFATHER: Your man doesn't even know the difference between a rock and a roll. DIRECTOR: It was never part of my brief. I'm solely in charge of cameras. RINGO: (apropo of nothing at all) I'm a drummer. PAUL, GEORGE, JOHN: Shurrup! RINGO: Well! GRANDFATHER: (indicating the director) He's a typical buck-passer. DIRECTOR: I won an award. JOHN: A likely story. DIRECTOR: It's on the wall in my office. GRANDFATHER: I hear those things can be rigged. JOHN: (confidingly) A bribery in high places, you mean. PAGE 52 GRANDFATHER: It's the curse of the country. GEORGE: (to Director) By the way - who are you? DIRECTOR: I was the Director of the show. RINGO: I'm a drummer. BOYS: Shurrup. At this moment NELL comes on the stage, confident, cigar in mouth and serene. NELL: Hello our lot, every one body happy? The boys, the director, floor manager and Grandfather turn on him, out of their babbled emerges "musical arranger." NELL: Half-time ! All right, all right. A. He is no musical arranger only a cheeky old Grandad. B. There's no question of who's in charge, and C. If you don't need this lot them, I'll lock 'em up in the dressing room till you do. DIRECTOR: Please do, I'll not need them for fifteen minutes half an hour. Thank you. He glares at GRANDFATHER who glares right back. The Director walks away with the Floor Manager pacifying him. DIRECTOR: Give Get me a bottle of milk and a packet of Oblivon some tranquilizers. Oh, It's a plot, I see it now, It's all a plot. FLOOR MANAGER: Tranquilizers . . . They go left towards the back-stage. PAGE 53 NELL: (producing key) Now, come on Come out you lot, I've got the key. He leads the lads off right. RINGO is last as he is putting his drum sticks down safely. NELL and the boys turn on him. NELL: Come ahead out, Ringo. Let's have you. JOHN: Come on speedy! PAUL: Ringo! GEORGE: Wake up! RINGO glares at him and follows quickly 34. INTERIOR BACK-STAGE T.V. THEATRE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 42 of the movie** In the corridor that runs parallel to the stage the floor manager is standing at the foot of the stairs. Behind him the way leads to the stage door which is open. FLOOR MANAGER: (abouting upstairs) Come on everybody, this is the third call and the rehearsal pianist is waiting. Down the corridor the BOYS, Nell, Mal, and Grandfather appear and walk towards the FLOOR MANAGER NELL: Look, what is all this? FLOOR MANAGER: Oh it's not your lot; I'm getting the people for the ballroom scene down. They've got a word rehearsal across the road in the hall. He shouts upstairs. PAGE 54 FLOOR MANAGER: Come on everybody. Now down the narrow stairs and out of the ground floor dressing rooms streams a steady flow of costumed actors and actresses. They engulf the lads and force them against the wall - the actors are all making for the stage door. As the actors push past the boys we see the boys' excited faces, their mouths watering for the costumes. JOHN touches the costume on one actor. JOHN: (to actor) Gear costume! ACTOR: (eyeing him) Transvestite Swop? JOHN: And proud of it. Cheeky. Before the crowd finally makes the stage door PAUL has time to goose a girl and look at NELL in disgust to make the girl think it is NELL but finally the crowd clears the way. NELL: Right,Come out lads first floor and no messing about. NELL, leading the way, goes up the stairs but as they turn the first corner they are confronted by a group of girls, a game of manners starts, "after you," "No, after you." NELL who is ahead of the group looks down on them in disgust. NELL: Lennon, leave them girls alone put them girls down or I'll report you tell your mother on of you. The BOYS let the girls pass and resume the journey, always surrounded by people. NELL: Stay in there until that rehearsal. I'm going to keep you in even if I have to put the lock in the key and turn it. 35. INTERIOR, DRESSING ROOM AND CORRIDOR They arrive on the first floor landing where NELL has opened their dressing room door. MAL, GRANDFATHER, and PAGE 55 MISSING PAGE 56, 57, 58 MISSING PAGE 59 PAUL crosses over to him and drapes his overcoat around the old man. The boys now tip toe about the room, unpacking and giggling as they bump into each other. RINGO'S attention is caught by a door. He crosses and opens it, looking out to a fire escape. The others join him and the four boys step through the door and onto the fire escape. RINGO: we're out! 36. EXTERIOR, TOP OF FIRE ESCAPE **This scene appears in the movie as Scene 43 in the movie** Song: "Can't Buy Me Love" From the boys P.O.V. we see down below into the property yard behind the theatre. It is a long narrow yard full of old coaches, motor cars and all the general debris of hundreds of sets from past theatre shows. Through the piles of heaped high junk there are a couple of narrow alleyways. The BOYS scamper down the fire escape and wander through the yard, fooling and clambering in and out of things. When they reach the bottom of the alleyways, there is a large door. They open it and look through. From their P.O.V. we see a large green field quite empty. The boys step through the doorway into the field. We now see from a HELICOPTER SHOT the four BOYS standing together surrounded by space. It is the first time they have been alone and unconfined all day. They look at each other and grin . . . then first GEORGE and PAUL let out a whoop and run towards the centre of the field, after a moment JOHN and RINGO follow them. PAGE 60 The four boys dash about madly calling out to one another and generally horsing around. out of this emerges an imaginary game of soccer and although there is no ball the game is fast and furious. After a few moments the long shadow of a man falls across the grass. MAN'S VOICE (off): I suppose you know realise this is private property. The boys freeze. From their P.O.V. we see a big burly middle-aged man glowering at them. The boys exchange rueful glances and, under the big man's eye, mooch back towards the gateway they came in by. JOHN GEORGE is the last to go through. He turns to the man. JOHN GEORGE: Sorry if we hurt your field, Mister. 37. INTERIOR CORRIDOR BACK STAGE GRANDFATHER is sneaking down the corridor, a pile of photos under his arm. 38. INTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE UNDERNEATH THE STAGE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 51 of the movie** Under the stage the usual set of wooden columns that support the stage with lots of furniture and a single light is on, it is placed by the orchestra's entrance to the Orchestra pit. GRANDFATHER comes down the stairs and winds his way through the columns until he finds himself a safe little cubby hole and settles himself under the light. He spreads the signed photo of the BOYS in front of him and, adjusting an old-fashioned pair of glasses, ball-point pen in hand begins to copy the boys' signatures on to the fresh photos, tutting at his failures and chuckling at his successes. After a moment, there is a sound of someone coming down the stairs. GRANDFATHER darts into a dark patch out of sight. The menacing shadows appear on the stairway. PAGE 60a NELL: (V.O.) There's no one here. MAL: (V.O.) This is the way they came. No one here - well where have they gone? We now see GRANDFATHER holding himself stiffly in, he is on some sort of raised platform and he fidgets and in doing so he knocks a lever of some sort. Slowly GRANDFATHER ascends out of shot with a light that grows bigger above him. 39. INTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE STAGE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 52 of the movie** A rehearsal of the toast scene from a Strauss Operetta. The entire stage is full of singers, glasses in hand they are singing away at each other but in true opera tradition they are addressing out to the audience. Slowly in- between the leading man and leading woman, who are about to embrace, a stage trap opens and a blinking, surprised, Grandfather appears. Here we intercut to the T.V. Control Room for amazed reaction shots of the director and control room crew. Back now on the stage the toast song reaches its climax and the leading man and woman rush into each other's arms, Grandfather sandwiched between them. DIRECTOR: Cut - What's that? That's wrong, isn't it? Surely that's wrong. No not you (into headset). Get him out! 40. INTERIOR, DRESSING ROOM **This scene appears in what would be Scene 44 in the movie** NELL and MAL enter the room The Boys' tailor is there waiting for the boys. NELL: (looking about him) Alright, where are they? Not here. Hello Dicky. MAL: Don't ask me, I dunno. NELL: (to Tailor) Typical isn't it. I bet that John Lennon's lead 'em astray. MAL: Oh they've probably gone to the canteen, cup of tee, like. PAGE 61 NELL: No That's too easy for Lennon. He crosses the door leading to the fire escape. NELL: (dramatically) He's out there somewhere, causing trouble just to upset me. MAL: You're imagining it. You're letting things it prey on your mind. NELL: Oh no. . .this is a battle of nerves between John and me. MAL: But John hasn't got any. NELL: What? MAL: Nerves. NELL: I know, that's just the trouble. He puffs nervously at his cigarette. NELL: Oh, I've toyed with the idea of a ball and chain but he'd only rattle them at me. . . and in public and all too. Sometimes I think he enjoys seeing me suffer. **This scene appears in what would be Scene 53 in the movie** He hears something. NELL: Get behind that door, they're coming. Someone's coming. Quick, hide! The two men hide behind the door. NELL: Stop being taller than me. MAL. It's not my fault. NELL: Shshsh. The boys enter the room, as JOHN is last he shuts the door and faces MAL and NELL. PAGE 62 JOHN: What are you doing there? MAL: Hiding. JOHN: I think you're You must be soft or something. NELL: We weren't hiding. We were resting. TAILOR: Now? NELL: Now. We were trying to catch you redhanded. I thought I told you lot to stay here? RINGO: Well . . . NELL: Look When I tell you to stay put, stay put. JOHN: (down on his knees) Don't cane me, sir, I was led astray. NELL: Oh shurrup and come on John. They're waiting for you in the studio. RINGO: Oh gear, I feel like doing Eh, I'm dying to do a bit of work. NELL: Good lad.God bless you, Ringo. PAUL: Oh, listen to Teacher's pet. GEORGE: You crawler. JOHN: He's You betrayed the class oh. RINGO: Oh, leave lay off! JOHN: Temper! Temper! PAGE 63 RINGO: Well . . . NELL: Oh, come head. PAUL: (indicating the sleeping grandfather) What about goldilocks? JOHN: Wake him up and bring him with you. PAUL: How, he's snoring. JOHN: Oh, tactfully and gently, I'll show you. He tip toes over to the old man, bends over quietly then yells down his ear. JOHN: Wake up, the ship's going down!! GRANDFATHER does a leap into the air RINGO: That's right, go on, give him a heart attack. PAUL: Yeah he's right. JOHN: Don't tell me. . GEORGE: I never said a word . . . CLOSE UP on NELL's long suffering face. NELL: Will you all get a move on. They're waiting for you! By this time the TAILOR has his tape stretched between his hands to measure GEORGE Paul's shoulders. but since PAUL has moved away, he is measuring space. JOHN takes up his scissors and cuts the tape. PAUL: Sorry - go to go. JOHN: I now declare this bridge open. The BOYS run out the door. 42. INTERIOR, T.V. STUDIO FLOOR **This scene appears in what would be Scene 54 in the movie** CLOSE UP on the distraught DIRECTOR. DIRECTOR: Where are they? I said, where are they? Where are they? FLOOR MANAGER: (placating) they're coming, I promise you. PAGE 64 DIRECTOR: (fiercely) Now look I - yes well -, if they're not here on this floor in thirty seconds there's going to be trouble . . . T.R.O.U.B.L.E.. . .understand me . . . trouble!!! Two STAGE HANDS are walking disinterestedly past, they look at the DIRECTOR. 1st STAGE HAND: What's he then, Taff? WELSH STAGE HAND: Well . . . says he's the director. Of course, he lives in a world of his own, mind. At this moment the boys, NELL, MAL & GRANDFATHER appear. The boys grab their instruments and prepare to play. JOHN: (to the director) Standing about, eh? Some people have it dead easy, don't they? The director is about to blow his top but manages to hold on and mutter to the heavens. DIRECTOR: (to himself) Of course, once you're over thirty, you're finished you're past it. It's a young man's medium and I just can't take stand the pace. RINGO: Oh as young as that, then? DIRECTOR. I was. BOYS: Shurrup! GRANDFATHER: Isn't it always the way? Picking on us little fellas. PAUL: (to Mal) Shove he gentleman jockey in the make-up room or something and keep your eye on him, will you? MAL: I'm an electrician, not a wet nurse, y'know. PAUL: (threateningly) I'll set John on you! PAGE 65 MAL: (hastily) Oh, anything you say Paul. He leads GRANDFATHER away. JOHN: (referring to the director)Ah, there he goes. Look at him. I bet his wife doesn't know about her. RINGO: He hasn't even got a wife. Look at his sweater. PAUL: You never know, she might have knitted it. JOHN: She knitted him. The BOYS are placed in position, instruments ready. The boom moves in near them. There is a mike hovering just over JOHN'S head. JOHN: (to the others) I think he's a right idiot, this director, he doesn't know what he doing. DIRECTORS' VOICE: (over the tannoy) I'm not and I do. The three lads laugh at JOHN'S discomfort. JOHN: (mock snarling at the boom mike) The Robots are taking over! He has to duck as the arm of the boom extends like a fist to thump him. DIRECTORUS VOICE: (over Tannoy) Alright, standby. Run through the number and try not to jiggle out of your positions. Three, coming to you, three . . . three . . . VOICE: We're on three. DIRECTOR: Three, eh? what? VOICE: We're on three. DIRECTOR: Oh yes. Eh . . . music. Song: "And I Love Her" The BOYS start the number, as the stage hands adjust their settings. When they've finished, they stand about spare. So we can watch every aspect of their work, and with so many monitors, it gives the impression that there are many more boys than just four. When the number ends we are back in the studio on the floor. DIRECTOR: Thank you, very nice. 43. INTERIOR, T.V. CONTROL ROOM **This scene appears in what would be Scene 55 of the movie** The room is crowded with the usual personnel, P.A., elecs, racks, etc., make-up supervisor and wardrobe mistress. DIRECTOR: That was more or less alright for me. I'll give them one more run through then leave them alone until the dress . . . (to make-up woman) Oh how about make up? PAGE 66 MAKE-UP WOMAN: Not really, they don't need it any. We'll just powder them off for shine. DIRECTOR: Good oh yes. Nell, get them along to make-up will you? Will you take them down to make up? Powder them off - for the shine, you know. NELL: (rising) Sure. DIRECTOR: (looking into the monitor) And hurry, they're not looking too happy. From the director's P.O.V. we see into the monitor. The boys crowding around RINGO. We cut through the monitor into the same position in the studio. 44. INTERIOR, T.V. STUDIO FLOOR PAUL: (to Ringo) What's the matter with you? You were bashing away like a madman. RINGO: (briefly) You were twanging too loud. JOHN: How'd you like a dirty great drum roll giving you a clout right in the middle of your solo? GEORGE: You're getting out of hand. I don't know what's come over you today. RINGO: That's right. It's always me, isnt' it? JOHN: Since you ask, yes. (he laughs) Aah, come on, Ring, we love you. He puts his arm around Ringo's shoulder. PAGE 67 RINGO: Well! JOHN: He'll get over it. NELL appears down the ramp speaking as he approaches. NELL: Alright, our lot, make up. 45. INTERIOR, MAKE UP ROOM **This scene appears in what would be Scene 56 of the movie** A smallish room with a line of chairs facing a wall mirror and a long table, each place is clearly marked and above each mirror a girls name. Betty, Deirdre, Jenny MAL & GRANDFATHER are sitting in splendid isolation. They are staring each other out MAL: You blinked! GRANDFATHER: I never did, you did. NELL: Come on - come on lads. MAL: Hello, our lot lads, he's Hey Grandfather's not talking to me. He's having a sulk. I think he's got a sulk on. GEORGE: Well, it must be catching. He's even given it to the champ Ringo here. He indicates RINGO who ignores him. NELL: Stop picking on him George. RINGO: I don't need you to defend me, y'know, Nell. PAGE 68 JOHN: Leave him alone Oh he's got a touch of he's got swine fever haven't you?. NELL: Sit down, the lot of you. C'mon lads, sit down. At this moment several actors come into the room. They are all dressed in the uniform of officers in Wellington's army. Together with the boys they sit down, Beatles and soldiers all mixed up. Now a group of several pretty make up girls make an entrance and the boys herald their arrival with a chorus of "aye aye's" and wold whistles. JOHN meanwhile has helped himself to a big beard and the other lads are generally messing about with assorted make up things. HEAD MAKE UP GIRL: Oh, this is impossible!We'll never get them all done in time. ACTOR: Who are these ruffians? Then you'll have to do us first. It doesn't matter to them whether they're made up or not. By the way what's that? JOHN: (charmingly) My name's Betty. . (pointing to the name on the mirror) Do you want a punch up your frogged tunic? ACTOR: No. NELL fights his way to JOHN. NELL: Now listen, John, behave yourself or I'll murder you and, Mal, take that wig off, it suits you. MAL has a long blond girls wig on. With the assistance of the girls, NELL gets the boys seated into the chairs nearest the door. For some reason RINGO now has a guardsmen busby wedged down almost over his eyes and is sitting with it under a hairdrier, reading a copy of "Queen" Magazine. PAGE 69 NELL: (to Ringo) What do you think are you're up to? RINGO: Someone put it on me. PAGE five. JOHN: Excuses, that's all we get and you know you fancy yourself in the Coldstreams. You always fancied yourself as a Guardsman, haven't you? The girls now move in and put make up bibs on the boys and start to powder them off. PAUL: Oh that this too too solid flesh would melt. (He turns around) Zap! JOHN: You won't interfere with the basic rugged concept of my personality, will you, girl madam? PAUL: Eh, don't take out me lines. GEORGE: Yeah, they give him that "Je ne sais quoi" rakish air. Why he's reading the "Queen." (indicating RINGO) That's an inside joke you know. The lads laugh with pleasure. RINGO decides to try a little joke. RINGO: (indicating the busby he is still wearing) Short back and sides, please. The other look at him with mock disgust. PAUL: Behave. . JOHN: Foreign devil . . GEORGE: Control yourself. . GRANDFATHER has been watching the powdering process. PAUL: Shorzan! GRANDFATHER: Shove down! In my considered opinion you're a bunch of sissies. PAGE 70 JOHN grabs a powder puff form his girl. JOHN: You know you're only jealous! And dabs the old man liberally with the powder much to Grandfather's annoyance. NELL: Leave him alone, Lennon, or I'll tell them all the truth about you. JOHN: You wouldn't! NELL: I would though. Nell goes out. JOHN: You're a swine, Nell. NELL ignored him and turns to the others. NELL: I'll see if they're ready for you. He starts to go. JOHN: (to his girl) In actual point of fact, he's going for a crafty ciggie in the Gents. NELL: You're common, John, and corse with it. JOHN: (grinning) But I've got a peculiar flashy sort of charm, haven't I? NELL: Watch it or I'll tell them all. He goes. PAUL: What's he know? PAGE 71 JOHN: Nothing, he's trying to brain wash me and give me personality doubts. . . oh, he's a swine but a clever swine, mind. GRANDFATHER: (impatiently) Lookit, I thought I was supposed to be getting a change of scenary and so far I've seen a train and a room, a car and a room and a room and a room. Well, that's maybe alright for a bunch of powdered geegaws like you lot but I'm feeling decidedly straight-jacketed. This is no life for a free-booting agent of my stamp. I'm a frustrated man and that class of McCartney is a dangerous McCartney. GIRL: (admiringly) What a clean old man. GRANDFATHER: (touchingly) You're too young for a fella of my cosmopolitain tastes Ah so don't press your luck. JOHN: He's sex-obsessed, the older generation are leading this country to galloping ruin. RINGO: Hmm Hmm Hmm MAL: (to one of the make up girls) What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this? NELL returns leaving the door open, the boys hear the sound of music coming from the studio. NELL: Aah They're nearly ready for you lads. Just finishing the band call. JOHN: (jumping from his seat) Gear! Come on, girls, let's have a bit of a dance. I say did you go to Herrod's? I was there in '58 you know. (To the make up girl) I could get you on the stage. JOHN'S GIRL: I don't think its allowed. Oh how? JOHN: Well . . . it wouldn't be any fun if it was! Turn right here at the door and go past the fire extinguisher. NELL: Come on. Off you go lads. The boys drag the make up girls out of the room and into the studio. RINGO: (to a passing actor) I don't like yours. PAGE 72 45. INTERIOR, T.V. STUDIO FLOOR Song: I'm Happy Just To Dance With You **This scene appears in what would be Scene 57 of the movie** The work is still going on and the music is up full blast, the boys enter and with the girls they start a wild dance, hippy, shake, zulu, blue beat, the lot, and gradually RINGO emerges as the solo dancer. 46. INTERIOR, CONTROL ROOM The whole control room crew are watching the dance on all the monitors. The DIRECTOR is about to stop the boys but his girl P.A. glares at him, with a shrug he lets the dance go on. We now cut between the dancers on the monitors and the boys actual dancing down on the studio floor. When the recorded music stops, they grab their instruments and go into a number. So we can watch every aspect of their work and with so many monitors it gives the impression that there are many more boys than just four. When the number finally ends we are bck in the studio on the floor. 47. INTERIOR, T.V. STUDIO FLOOR **This scene appears in what would be Scene 58 of the movie** DIRECTOR'S VOICE OVER TANNOY: Thank you gentlemen, you can break now while we push on with the show. The boys acknowledge this with a quaver of guitar chords and a drum roll. NELL is on them at once. PAGE 73 NELL: That was great, you've got about an hour but don't leave the theatre. JOHN grabes the arm of a sexy girl dancer. NELL: Where are you going? JOHN: She's going to show me her stamp collection. PAUL: (grabs a showgirl) So's mine. NELL: John, I'm talking to you. This final run through is important. Understand? Important. JOHN oinks like a pig. They dash off with the two beauties GRANDFATHER is hovering in the background with MAL. GRANDFATHER: I want me cup of tea. NELL: Mal. MAL: I'm adjusting I got to adjust the . . .ah. . . the decibals on the inbalance Nell. NELL: Clever. (he turns) George. But GEORGE is disappearing out of the door. covering his ears. NELL turns to RINGO. NELL: Ringo look after him will you? RINGO: But. . . Aye Nell. NELL: Do I have to raise me voice? RINGO: (choked) Oh, alright. come head on, Grandad. I'm a drummer not a wet nurse. Come on. And the two of them walk off. NELL is left alone. PAGE 74 NELL: (enumerating to himself) Lennon and Paul stamp collecting, Ringo and Grandad canteen, Mal's playing with the amplifiers . . George . . . now where's he gone? 48. INTERIOR, CORRIDOR T.V. THEATRE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 46 of the movie** Announcement over P.A.: "There will be a full rehearsal in ten minutes time." GEORGE comes round the corner, looking for RINGO, then grins and walks past a sign saying "Canteen and Production Office Opposite." He comes to the exit door crosses to a modern building across from the theatre. He enters building. EXTERIOR, YARD IN THE THEATRE AREA GEORGE crosses the yard and goes to the Nissen hut. He opens the door and peeps in, then goes inside. 49. INTERIOR, OFFICE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 47 of the movie** It is the reception room that leads to an inner office. Behind a desk sits a smart young woman typing busily as GEORGE enters. He is surprised when he sees the girl; she looks up and speaks to him at once. SECRETARY: Oh, there you are! GEORGE: Oh, I'm sorry, I must have made a mistake. SECRETARY: (tartly) No You haven't, you're just late. (She rises and crossing over to him examines him critically.) GEORGE: Oh I am? SECRETARY: Actually, I think he's going to be very pleased with you. GEORGE: Is he?Really? PAGE 75 SECRETARY: Yes, you're quite a feather in the cap. (She crosses to the desk and picks up the interoffice phone.) Hello, I've got one . . . oh, I think so . . . yes, he can talk . . . Well . . . I think you ought to see him. (She smiles.) Yes, alright Of course, right away. She crosses to the interoffice door. On the door is written SIMON MARSHAL . . . she opens it. SECRETARY: Well . . . come on. GEORGE: Sorry. looking at a piece of sculpture You don't see many of these nowadays, do you? SECRETARY: Come on. He follows her quickly in. 50. INTERIOR, INNER OFFICE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 48 of the movie** A large room, part production office with models and sets, drawing board with ground plans, the other part of the room a mixture of Pop and Queens' magazine decor. Behind a large desk sits SIMON MARSHAL, a bland but slightly irritable young man of about thirty-five. He is wearing the ultimate in the current smart set fashion. He is attended by a couple of underlings ADRIAN and TONY and behind him on the wall is a poster of a girl. Across the poster is printed, "Way out, your own T.V. Special with Susan Campey." Director, Simon Marshal. SECRETARY: (proudly) Will this do, Simon? Simon, will this do? PAGE 76 SIMON: (looking at George) Not bad, dolly, not really bad. (he motions to George.) Turn around, chicky baby. (George does so.)Oh yes, a definite poss. He'll look good alongside Susan. (he indicates the girl on the poster.) Alright, Sunny Jim, this is all going to be quite painless. Don't breathe on me, Adrian. ADRIAN has recognised GEORGE and is trying to stop SIMON. GEORGE: Look, I'm terribly sorry but I'm afraid there's been some sort of a misunderstanding. SIMON: (sharply) Oh, you can come off it with us. You don't have to do the old adenoidal glottal stop and carry on for our benefit. GEORGE: I'm afraid I don't understand. SIMON: Oh, my God, he's a natural. SECRETARY: (anxiously) Well, I did tell them not to send us any more real ones. MAN: They ought to know by now the phonies are much easier to handle. Still he's a good type. He now speaks to GEORGE in the loud voice that the English reserve for foreigners and village idiots. MAN: We want We'd like you to give us your opinion on some clothes for teenagers. PAGE 77 GEORGE: Oh, by all means, I'd be quite prepared for that eventuality. SIMON: Well, not your real opinion, naturally. It'll be written out and you'll learn it. (to secretary) Can he read? GEORGE: Of course I can. SIMON: I mean lines, ducky, can you handle lines? GEORGE: Well I'll have a bash. SIMON: Good. Hart, get Give him whatever it is they drink, a cokearama? GEORGE: Ta. SIMON: Well, at least he's polite. Tony Show him the shirts, Adrian. A collection of shirts are produced and GEORGE looks at them. While he is doing this Simon briefs him. SIMON: Now, you'll like these. You really "dig" them. they're "fab" and all the other pimply hyperboles. GEORGE: I wouldn't be seen dead in them. they're dead grotty. SIMON: Grotty? GEORGE: Yeah, grotesque. PAGE 78 SIMON: (to secretary) Make a note of that word and give it to Susan. I think It's rather touching really. Here's this kid trying to give me his utterly valueless opinion when I know for a fact within four weeks a month he'll be suffering from a violent inferiority complex and loss of status because if he isn't wearing one of these nasty things. Of course they're grotty, you wretched nit, that's why they were designed, but that's what you'll want. GEORGE: But I won't. SIMON: You can be replaced you know, chicky baby. GEORGE: I don't care. SIMON: And that pose is out too, Sunny Jim. The new thing is to care passionately, and be right wing. Anyway, you won't meet Susan if you don't cooperate if you don't cooperate you won't meet Susan.. GEORGE: And who's this Susan when she's at home? SIMON: (playing his ace) Only Susan Campey, our resident teenager. You'll have to love her. She's your symbol. GEORGE: Oh, you mean that posh bird who gets everything wrong? SIMON: I beg your pardon? GEORGE: Oh, yes, the lads frequently gather round the T.V. set to watch her for a giggle. Once we even all sat down and wrote these letters saying how gear she was and all that rubbish. PAGE 79 SIMON: She's a trend setter. It's her profession! GEORGE: She's a drag. A well-known drag. We turn the sound down on her and say rude things. SIMON: Get him out of here!! GEORGE: (genuinely surprised) Have I said something amiss? SIMON: Get him out of here. He's knocking the programme's image!! The underlings hustle GEORGE to the door. GEORGE: (smiling) Sorry about the shirts. He is ejected through the door. SIMON: Get him out. (he stops in mid shout.) You don't think he's a new phenomenon, do you? SECRETARY: You mean an early clue to the new direction? SIMON: (rummaging in his desk) Where's the calendar? (he finds it.) No, he's just a trouble maker. The change isn't due for three weeks. All the same, make a note not to extend Susan's contract. Let's not take any unnecessary chances! Hmm? PAGE 80 49. INTERIOR, T.V. STUDIO CANTEEN **This scene appears in what would be Scene 59 of the movie** The canteen is about half full of actors many of which are dressed as Nazi soldiers, with mock blood bandages and arm bands. Also there are a sprinkling of T.V. people. At a table sits GRANDFATHER & RINGO. RINGO is deeply engrossed in a book and GRANDFATHER has a near empty cup of tea in front of him. The old man is bored and looks about him slyly. He then looks at Ringo who is innocently occupied, a malicious gleam comes into Grandfather's eye. He decides to have a go at Ringo and sits staring at him. Ringo gradually becomes aware of the stare and shifts uncomfortably then tries to continue reading his book. GRANDFATHER: (disgustedly to no one in particular) Will Would you ever look at him, sitting there wid his hooter scraping away at that book! RINGO: Well . . . what's the matter with that? GRANDFATHER: (taking the book from him) Have you no natural resources of your own? Have they even robbed you of that? RINGO: (snatching back his book) You I can learn from books. GRANDFATHER: You can Can you now? Aah . . . sheeps heads! You learn more be getting out there and living. RINGO: Out where? PAGE 81 GRANDFATHER: Any old where . . . but not our little Richard . . . oh no! When you're not thumping them pagan skins, you're tormenting your eyes wid that rubbish! RINGO: (defiantly) Books are good! GRANDFATHER: (countering) Parading's better! RINGO: Parading? GRANDFATHER: (marching up and down the canteen) That's it Parading the streets . . . trailing your coat . . . bowling along . . . living! RINGO: Well, I am living, aren't I? GRANDFATHER: You're living, are you? When was the last time you gave a girl a pink-edged daisy? When did you last embarrass a Sheila wid your cool appraising stare? RINGO: Eh . . . you're a bit old for that sort of chat, aren't you? GRANDFATHER: Well At least I've a backlog of memories, but all you've got is that book! RINGO: Aaah . . . stop picking on me . . . you're as bad as the rest of them. GRANDFATHER: Aah So you are a man after all. RINGO: What's that mean? PAGE 82 GRANDFATHER: Do you think I haven't noticed . . . do you think I wasn't aware of the drift? Oh . . . you poor unfortunate scuff, they've driven you into books by their cruel, unnatural treatment, exploiting your good nature. RINGO: (not too sure) Oh . . . I dunno. GRANDFATHER: (musing) And I hate to say it but Paul's the worst offender. RINGO: Is he? GRANDFATHER: Mind you, George can be scornful too, y' know. RINGO: Aye, he can. GRANDFATHER: (confidingly) And Ah sure that lot's never happier than when they're jeering at you . . . and where would they be without the steady support of your drum beat, I'd like to know. RINGO: Yeah . . . that's right. GRANDFATHER: And what's it all come to in the end? RINGO: (defensively) Yeah . . . what's in it for me? GRANDFATHER: A book! RINGO: Yeah . . . a bloomin' book! He throws the book down. PAGE 83 GRANDFATHER: When you could be out there betraying a rich American widow or sipping palm wine in Tahiti before you're too old like me. RINGO: Aye. GRANDFATHER: Time's a' wasting, and you're mispending your youth on false friends. RINGO digests this thought. RINGO: Am I. . am I really? GRANDFATHER: Oh its been remarked on. RINGO: Has it. . honest? GRANDFATHER: A fine neat and trim lad the class of you should be helping himself to life's goodies before the sands run out. Being an old age pensioner's a terrible drag on a man and every second you waste is bringing you nearer the Friday queue at the Post Office. RINGO: (troubled) Never thought of it like that before. GRANDFATHER: (pressing on) Don't waste your faculties around here. Get out into the world and flex your muscles while there's still time because it won't last. RINGO: Yeah . . . funny really, cos I'd never thought of it but being middle- aged and old takes up most of your time, doesn't it? GRANDFATHER: (nodding) You're only right. PAGE 84 RINGO: (nodding back) I'm not wrong. There is a pause then RINGO rises and crosses to the door. GRANDFATHER: Where are you off to going? RINGO: I'm going parading before It's too late! RINGO leaves and GRANDFATHER laughs at what he has done then realizes its full meaning and looks worried. INTERIOR, CORRIDOR & STAIRWAY **This scene appears in what would be Scene 60 of the movie** RINGO comes along the corridor then down the narrow stairs. Half way down he comes face to face with GEORGE who is coming up the stairs. GEORGE: Eh, Ringo, do you know what happened to me? RINGO: (passing him) No. I don't. As he goes round the corner RINGO turns on the surprised GEORGE. RINGO: You want to stop being so scornful, it's twisting your face. 50. INTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE NEAR STAGE DOORMAN'S OFFICE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 61 of the movie** John and PAUL are chatting up a couple of girls, when they see RINGO approaching they break off the conversation. JOHN: Tell him of the story about . . . Hallo here he is, the middle-aged boy wonder. RINGO looks at JOHN hard. PAUL: Eh. I thought you were looking after the old man. RINGO: (with simple dignity) Get knotted! PAGE 85 PAUL and JOHN gape at him. For good measure Ringo takes a quick photograph of them before he leaves them flabbergasted and walks off into the street. PAUL: We've got only half an hour till the final run-through. He can't walk out on us. JOHN: Can't he? He's done it, son! GEORGE runs towards them. GEORGE: Hey, I don't know if you realise it, but Do you know what happened? PAUL: We know do. GEORGE: Yes. Your grandfather's he's stirred him up. PAUL: He hasn't. GEORGE: Yes, he's filled his head with notions seemingly. PAUL: The old mixer, come on we'll have to put him right. The three of them go into the street. 51. EXTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE STAGE DOOR ENTRANCE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 62 of the movie** The boys look up and down but RINGO has completely disappeared. PAUL: We'll Split up and look for him he can't be far. They now all start to go off in the same direction, they pause, there are three roads they can take but each time they begin to move they all go the same way. PAGE 86 JOHN: It's happened at last, we've become a limited company. GEORGE. I'll look in here again. PAUL gives him a push to the left and GEORGE to the right and going straight ahead himself they part and go their separate way. 52. EXTERIOR, STREET **This scene appears in what would be Scene 63 of the movie** RINGO is walking along taking photographs with his camera when some girls recognise him and start to follow him. They quicken their pace and RINGO runs ahead of them. He turns and comes into another street. He sees a second-hand clothes shop with a sign saying "We Buy Anything" and enters the shop just before the pursuing girls come round the corner. The girls stand about looking in all directions. After a moment RINGO comes out of the shop. He is wearing a long mackintosh and a natty cap pulled well down. He is ignored by the girls who don't recognise him. Realising this he goes back and oggles one of them. She glares at him. RINGO: Hello. GIRL: Get out of it, short house shorty! Close up on Ringo's secret but happy smile as he walks briskly down the road. EXTERIOR, STREET PAUL comes down the street looking about him for RINGO. In the street is an old building, the sort of place that is highly favoured for TV rehearsals. There is a sign on the door, "TV Rehearsal Room." As PAUL draws near, a load of actors and extras, etc. are leaving, they are in costume, they are the ones who earlier had been going to a word rehearsal. When PAUL gets near the entrance he decides to go inside. PAGE 87 54. INTERIOR, HALL PAUL enters and wanders about. He reaches a door, pushes it open and looks in. He sees a GIRL clad in period costume. She is moving around the room and obviously acting. PAUL watches her for a moment and then decides to go in. 55. INTERIOR, REHEARSAL ROOM PAUL goes into the room. The GIRL is in mid-flight. She is very young and lovely and completely engrossed in what she is doing. The room is absolutely empty except for PAUL and herself. She is acting in the manner of an eighteenth-century coquette, or, to be precise, the voice English actresses PAGE 88 use when they think they are being true to the costume period . . . her youth however makes it all very charming. GIRL: If I believed you, sir, I might do those things and walk those ways only to find myself on Problems Path. If I believed you, sir, I might like you or even love you, but I cannot believe you and all those urgings, pleadings and the like serve only as a proof that you will lie and lie again to gain your purpose with me. She dances lightly away from an imaginary lover and as she turns she sees PAUL who is as engrossed in the scene as she was. GIRL: (surprised) Oh! PAUL: (enthusiastically) Well . . . go 'head, do the next bit. GIRL: Go away! You've spoilt it. PAUL: Who, me? GIRL: Yes, you. PAUL: Why, I'm not doing any harm. GIRL: You've spoilt it. PAGE 89 PAUL: Oh, sorry I spoke. He makes no attempt to go. He simply continues to look steadily at the girl; then he smiles at her. She is undecided what to do next. GIRL: Are you supposed to be here? PAUL: I've got you worried, haven't I? GIRL: Of course not. I asked you who you are, that's all. PAUL: No you didn't, you asked me, "Was I supposed to be here?" GIRL: It's the same thing. PAUL: It isn't you know. GIRL: Well ..you've obviously no right to be here. PAUL: Aah, that's more like it. Do I look a trespasser, like? GIRL: I'm warning you, they'll be back in a minute. PAUL: D'you know something, "They" don't worry me at all. GIRL: They'll throw you out! PAUL: Is that a gentle hint I wont' be missed, like if I go? PAGE 90 GIRL: (haughtily) I want to go on rehearsing. PAUL: Well I'm not stopping you. GIRL: (hotly) Don't be rude. PAUL: You had the first go, not me. Any road, I only fancy listening to you . . . that's all but if it worries you . . . well . . . GIRL: Of course it doesn't worry me, I can . . (she interrupts herself) . . Who are you? PAUL: (smiling cheekily) Another worrier. GIRL: (accusingly) You're from Liverpool, aren't you? PAUL: (ironically) How'd you guess? GIRL: (seriously) Oh, It's the way you talk. PAUL: (innocently) Is it . . . is it, really? GIRL: (suspiciously) Are you pulling my leg? PAUL: (looking her straight in the eye) Something like that. GIRL: (unsure) I see. (airily) Do you like the play? PAUL: Yeah . . . I mean, sure, well, I took it at school but I only ever heard boys and masters saying those lines, like, sounds different on a girl. (smiles to himself) Yeah, It's gear on a girl. PAGE 91 GIRL: Gear? PAUL: Aye, the big hammer, smashing! GIRL: Thank you. PAUL: Don't mench . . . well, why don't you give us a few more lines, like? GIRL: (pouts) Oh, there isn't much point. Anyway, I was only doing it for myself . PAUL: You don't half slam the door in people's faces, don't you? I mean, what about when you're playing the part, like, hundreds of people'll see you and . . . GIRL: (cutting in) I'm not . . . PAUL: What? GIRL: Playing the part. PAUL: Oh, you're the understudy, sort of thing? GIRL: No. (aggressively) I'm a walk-on in a fancy dress scene. I just felt like doing those lines. PAUL: Oh, I see. You are an actress though, aren't you? GIRL: Yes. PAUL: Aye, I knew you were. PAGE 92 GIRL: What's that mean? PAUL: Well, the way you were spouting, like .... (he imitates her) "I don't believe you, sir..." and all that. GIRL: I don't sound like that. PAUL: Yes you do. GIRL: Do I really? PAUL: Yeah, it was gear. GIRL: (dryly) The big hammer? PAUL: (smiling) Oh aye, a sledge. GIRL: but the way you did it then sounded so phony. PAUL: No . . . I wouldn't say that . . . just like an actress . . . you know. He moves and stands about like an actress. GIRL: But that's not like a real person at all. PAUL: Aye well, actresses aren't like real people, are they? GIRL: They ought to be. PAUL: Oh, I don't know, anyroad up, they never are, are they? GIRL: (teasingly) What are you? PAGE 93 PAUL: I'm in a group . . . well . . . there are four of us, we play and sing. GIRL: I bet you don't sound like real people. PAUL: We do, you know. We sound like us having a ball. It's fab. GIRL: Is it really though? PAUL: What? GIRL: Is it really fab or are you just saying that to convince yourself? PAUL: What of? Look, I wouldn't do it unless I was. I'm dead lucky 'cos I get paid for doing something I love doing. (he laughs and with a gesture takes in the whole studio) . . . all this and a jam butty too!! GIRL: I only enjoy acting for myself. I hate it when other people are let in. PAUL: Why? I mean, which are you, scared or selfish? GIRL: Why selfish? PAUL: Well, you've got to have people to taste your treacle toffee. She looks at him in surprise. PAGE 94 PAUL: No, hang on, I've not gone daft. You see, when I was little me mother let me make some treacle toffee one time in our back scullery. When I'd done she said to me, "Go and give some to the other kids." So, I said I would but I thought to meself, "She must think I'm soft." Anyroad, I was eating away there but I wanted somebody else to know how good it was so in the end I wound up giving it all away . . . but I didn't mind, mind, cos I'd made the stuff in the first place. Well . . . that's why you need other people. . . an audience . . . to taste your treacle toffee, like. Eh . . . does that sound as thickheaded to you as it does to me? GIRL: Not really but I'm probably not a toffee maker. PAUL: Oh sorry. GIRL: You are though, arent' you? PAUL: Yeah. GIRL: How would you do those lines of mine? PAUL: Who me? Oh, I'd make a giggle and it'd be all wrong. . . funny but all wrong. GIRL: Yes, but how? PAGE 96 PAUL: Oh, definately, it sticks out a mile, she's trying to get him to marry her but he doesn't want . . . well . . . I don't reckon any fella's ever wanted to get married, they just do it to keep the girl friend quiet and by the time you've quietened her, she's the wife. GIRL: That's not very romantic. PAUL: Oh, I dunno, getting pulled for marriage when all you want's a bit of fun, i think that's very romantic and clever too. That's what but girls are though like that, clever and cunning. You've got to laugh. He laughs. GIRL: Well, It's nice to know you think we're clever. PAUL: (grinning) And cunning. GIRL: And what do you do about it? PAUL: Me? Oh, I don't have the time, I'm always running about with the lads . . . no, we don't have the time. GIRL: Pity. PAUL: (not noticing the invitation) Aye, it is but as long as you get by, it's alright, you know . . . bash on, happy valley's when they let you stop. Anyroad, I'd better get back. PAGE 97 GIRL: Yes. PAUL: (going) See you. GIRL: Of course. PAUL stands at the doorway, shrugs then goes out. After a moment the girl starts to act her speech. She is still using her actress voice. GIRL: If I believe you, sir. I might do . . .(She breaks off and smiles) . . .clever and cunning . . . She starts again but this time she delivers the lines in a saucy teasing manner. PAUL pops his head back round the door. PAUL: Treacle toffee. . wowee!! 56. EXTERIOR, STREET **This scene appears in what would be Scene 70 of the movie** In the street, workmen are collecting shovels, drinking tea and doing all the things people do around building sites. RINGO mooches around. In the road is a hole with a diameter of about 3 feet, and at least 6 feet deep. RINGO looks down and a man is busily working at the bottom of the hole. He glares at RINGO. After a moment RINGO turns away. We now see a very elegant young lady coming towards RINGO. She is daintily avoiding a series of puddles. RINGO has an idea and does a Sir Walter Raleigh with his large Mac spreading it over one of the puddles. GIRL: Thank you. The girl walks across it smiling graciously. RINGO proceeds with the coat to the next puddle and to the next backing gradually towards the hole. At last he spreads the coat, without noticing what he is doing, over the hole. The girl steps onto the PAGE 98 coat and disappears sharply. RINGO looks down the hole where the girl is held in the workman's arms. The workman rises out of the manhole until he is waist height. At this point an elegantly dressed gentleman appears (the girl's husband) he looks at his wife in the workman's arms and hits the workman. RINGO backs away through the puddles, and is nicked by the POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN. Got you, you nasty little person, you. RINGO: Ow . . . Yeah. 57. EXTERIOR, STREET JOHN is coming along the street that RINGO has come down earlier. JOHN stops in front of the second hand shop and gazes at the mixture of odd baud coats, shirts & ties, etc. He moves on but notices in the corner of the window nearest the entrance a pile of electric equipment, old typewriters and wireless parts, on the top of a radiogram is RINGO'S camera, it is marked L1. At this moment a single file of Indian seamen led by a seraug (ie bosun) are entering the shop. JOHN tags on at the end of the line and enters the shop. 58. INTERIOR, SHOP It is gloomy and overcrowded, with suits and coats hanging everywhere and piled up stacks of junk. Posters invite one to be tattooed at reasonable prices, ladies free. At the far end of the shop is the drapery section and behind the counter a middle-aged assistant is sorting out celluloid collars and false shirt fronts. There are several customers being attended to by other assistants. At the counter a fat woman and her fourteen year old boy (the boy is dressed in a very dreary suit) are standing impatiently. JOHN wanders down the shop and inadvertently finds himself behind the counter. The fat woman glares at him mistaking him for an assistant. FAT WOMAN: And I'll have that suit for my son. She indicates some very boring suit. JOHN: What are you, some sort of comodienne? PAGE 99 FAT WOMAN: I'll have that suit! At this moment a little Indian seamen walks into shot. He addresses JOHN in Indian. JOHN answers him fluently in Indian. The Indian is asking him something JOHN is obviously telling him where to look for it. The Indian and his several Indian companions go down the shop happily. JOHN turns back to the fat woman. JOHN: Now then, Madame, you wanted. . . WOMAN: That suit! JOHN collects up the suit which is the ultimate in squaredom and holding it at arms length as if it reeks of the drain brings it round the counter. The boy takes it and measures it against himself then looks longingly at JOHN'S outfit. The mother glares at JOHN and hustles her son away. JOHN watches her go to complain to the head assistant. A hand taps him on the shoulder and from JOHN'S P.O.V. we see the ten Indians clad in kilts, evening dress coats, deer stalker hats, one boxing glove, all that is outlandish but all identical. JOHN: Funny, I always get the verbs wrong. At this moment the hurries up to JOHN. PAGE 99a by examining the ceiling. She appeals to the scrang who nods his approval enthusiastically. JOHN walks across to the coat in question and offers it to the scrang who refuses it indignantly but points to the boy. JOHN picks up a coat more suitable for the boy and hands it to the lad who tries it on gratefully. It is perfect, fit cut, everything. They bow to each other then to the Indians and assistants who give them a round of applause. The outraged mother grabs the child, strips him of his coat and drags the boy out of the shop. JOHN: (to nearby Indian) And you wait till she gets him home! ASSISTANT: (hotly) Have you done? Have you finished, I mean, have you? No, Have you? JOHN: Who? Me? Have I done? ASSISTANT: Well, have you? JOHN: Yeah, I've done. ASSISTANT: Alright, then. JOHN: And how about that Camera? ASSISTANT: The one in the window? JOHN: Yeah, the one in the window. ASSISTANT: One cap, one rain coat. JOHN: Well, I'll have it, won't I? ASSISTANT: Alright, you'll have it! PAGE 100 Followed by JOHN he goes to shop's entrance and reaches in the window, gets the camera and collects the pount from JOHNS outreached hand. ASSISTANT: Alright? JOHN: Alright. JOHN backs out of the shop passing the arguing boy and his mother saying alright to which the assistant and the Indian sailors counter with a series of "alright's" until JOHN disappears. 59. EXTERIOR, STREET GEORGE is walking down one way and PAUL is coming from the opposite direction. They meet at the second hand shop as JOHN backs out saying "alright". Seeing them, he shows them RINGO'S camera and triumphantly they set off in the direction RINGO took. 60. EXTERIOR, STREET, PUB ON THE CORNER The sign on the pub is Liverpool Arms. RINGO is standing looking up at it. He decides to go in and does so. 61. INTERIOR, T.V. CONTROL ROOM **This scene appears in what would be Scene 65 of the movie** The atmosphere is tense. GRANDFATHER is standing miserable in front of the director, the criminal confronted by the judge. MAL and NELL are flanking him grimly. GRANDFATHER: I'm sorry lads, I didn't mean it, honest. DIRECTOR: If he says that again, I'll strike him. MAL NELL: (unconvincingly) They'll be back, they're good lads, they'll be back. PAGE 101 DIRECTOR: (disgusted) Yes? Well they've already missed the final run through. We've got only ten twenty minutes to the final run through. GRANDFATHER: I meant no harm. I was only trying to encourage little Ringo to enjoy himself. NELL: (grimly, C.U.) God knows what you've unleashed on the unsuspecting South. It'll be wine, women and song all the way with Ringo once he's got the taste for it. 62. INTERIOR, PUB, PUBLIC BAR **This scene appears in what would be Scene 66 of the movie** CLOSE UP on RINGO. He is eating a bone dry sandwich that curls up at the end. He puts it down with disgust. BARMAID: (accusingly) That was fresh this morning. We now see the pub is full of enormous cockney workmen downing pints. RINGO is very much alone, he moves away from the bar towards a group that is standing together, they've an average height of over six-foot. One man is telling a dirty story and the others are grinning in anticipation. RINGO joins the fringe and grins as well. STORYTELLER: So she turns to him and holding it up she says 'is this yours!' The mean all laugh their heads off. RINGO laughs with them but after a moment the storyteller notices him. He frowns and leans across to RINGO. STORYTELLER: Alright, what are you laughing at, then? RINGO: Well, I'd heard it. STORYTELLER: Had you now? Yeah, I know your sort, wait till the joke's PAGE 102 STORYTELLER (continued) over then say you've heard it. Well, why don't you. He leans forward and whispers something into RINGO'S ear. RINGO is shocked and reacts. RINGO: Oh, if you're going to be like that. He moves hastily away and crosses back to the BARMAID. The group glares at his retreating figure. RINGO: (to Barmaid) Half of mild. There is a group at a dart board. Another group is playing bar skittles and a third group is around a pinball table. Near the bar is a shove-halfpenny board with two players. There is a caged parrot nearby. BARMAID: (to Ringo) That'll be two and nine. RINGO fumbles some change out of his pocket. A few coppers fall from his hand on to the shove-halfpenny board just as the crucial point has been made. The men glare at him. Embarrassed, he moves away and without looking, places his glass on the skittles table just as a player swings the string, which hits Ringo's glass. More embarrassed, RINGO backs away, unfortunately into the pin table just as a winning score is about to be reached. He bumps it very slightly, but enough to cause it to TILT. He then moves to the dart board. By this time most of the pub is staring at him. With great style he takes the darts. The first throw goes into a cheese sandwich which a man is pointing in demonstration. The second we see arrive into a pint of bitter and then we see RINGO shoot the third dart and hear the sound of the parrot shouting angrily, off. The BARMAID has had enough. BARMAID: Right . . . On your way! RINGO: Y'what? BARMAID: You heard, on your way, troublemaker! Now the centre of attention, RINGO backs out of the pub, followed by every eye in the place, the BARMAID and a few players following him to the door . . 63. EXTERIOR, STREET OUTSIDE PUB **This scene appears in what would be Scene 67 of the movie** RINGO comes out and crosses road. There is an incline that leads down to a tow path of a canal as RINGO starts to go down in the back ground of the shot we see, JOHN, PAUL, & GEORGE arriving at the Pub. They don't see RINGO and he has his back to them. They enter the pub but we follow RINGO as he mooches down the incline to the tow path. 64. EXTERIOR, TOW PATH CANAL RINGO attaches time mechanism onto camera, places it on log stump by river, steps back, presses injector. The camera falls backwards into river. RINGO hauls it out. RINGO kicks at a brick. He kicks stylishly but misses so tries again, misses again, but finally kicks the stone which PAGE 103 doesn't budge so he bends down and pulls it out of the ground, It is quite big. Three quarters of it being below the surface. Having got it he now decides to throw it away. As he does so a man rides past on a bicycle the same POLICEMAN rides past on a bicycle. MAN POLICEMAN: Ain't you got no more bleeding sense than to go round chucking bricks about. Before RINGO has time to answer the man has disappeared. RINGO: (shouting after him) Southerner! He looks at the canal water moodily and starts to photograph unimportant things at this moment a large lorry tyre rolls down the incline and bashes him slap in the back, sprawling him on the path, the tyre on top of him. A small boy appears after the tyre and stands over the prostrate RINGO. BOY: Here, mate, that's my hoop, stop playing with it. RINGO: Hoop This, this isn't a hoop It's a lethal weapon. Have you got a licence for it? BOY: Oh don't be so stroppy! RINGO: (getting up) Well! A boy of your age bowling "hoop" at people. How old are you anyway? BOY: (aggressively) Nine Eleven. RINGO: Bet I beg you're only eight and a half. ten and a half. BOY: (countering swiftly) Eight and two thirds Ten and two thirds. PAGE 104 RINGO: Well, there you are then and watch it with that hoop don't be bowling it at people. BOY: Gerron out of it, you're old. RINGO: Shurrup! BOY: You're a hundred and eighty. I bet you're (searching for an age) - sixteen! RINGO: Fifteen and two thirds, actually. BOY: Well. RINGO: Alright take your hoop and bowl. He moves off and the BOY follows. BOY: Oh you can have it, I'm packing it in - it depresses me. RINGO: Y'what? BOY: You heard, it gets on my wick. RINGO: Well that's lovely talk, that is. And another thing, why aren't you at school. BOY: I'm a deserter. RINGO: (smiling in spite of himself) Are you now? BOY: Yeah, I've blown school out. PAGE 105 RINGO: Just you? BOY: No, Ginger, Eddy Fallon and Ding Dong. RINGO: Ding Dong? Oh Ding Dong Bell, eh? BOY: Yeah, that's right, they was supposed to come with us but they chickened. RINGO: Yeah? And they're your mates are they? BOY: (sighing) Yeah. RINGO: Not much cop without 'em, is it? BOY: (defensively) Oh, It's alright. RINGO: (disbelievingly) Yeah? BOY: Yeah. RINGO: Well Whatare they like? BOY is glad to have something to talk about. BOY: (enthusiastically) Ginger's mad, he says things all the time and Eddy's good at punching and spitting. RINGO: How about Ding Dong? BOY: Oh He's a big head and he fancies himself with it but you know it's alright 'cos he's one of the gang. PAGE 106 RINGO nods his head understandingly and they mooch on together. BOY: Why aren't you at work? RINGO: I'm a deserter, too. BOY: Oh. At this moment a child's voice shouts out "Charley" and from RINGO'S P.O.V. we see three kids. RINGO turns to the BOY and looks at them enquiringly. BOY: (to Ringo) See you. The BOY runs off to join his mates. As he joins them they punch and scuffle together. They are obviously a gang. RINGO is left alone. VOICE: Come in number 7 your time's up. A voice off call "Ringo" and from RINGO'S P.O.V. we see JOHN, PAUL & GEORGE standing on the top of the incline. RINGO takes one last look at the kids and runs to join JOHN, PAUL & GEORGE. When he arrives they all look at each other. JOHN: Where've you been. RINGO: Parading. They all look at him inquiringly but he just grins and together they walk off. PAGE 107 65. INTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE, STAGE DOOR ENTRANCE The DIRECTOR is standing over NELL who is looking full of despair. DIRECTOR: You've let me down and I'm holding you responsible. MAL joins them. NELL: Have you found the old man? MAL: He's gone. He was seen leaving the theatre. DIRECTOR: And you call yourself a road manager. Four young men and now a grandfather you've lost. NELL: Aw leave off will you. At this moment the four boys walk casually and unperturbed through the door from the street. JOHN: Hi Nell. NELL: (abstractedly) Hi John. The boys walk past him and after a moment he snaps to. NELL: Our lot! GEORGE: (mildly) Did you want something? NELL hugs them. NELL: I could kiss eat the lot of you. He is beaming with delight. PAGE 108 JOHN: You'd look gear with an apple in your gob. The DIRECTOR takes over. DIRECTOR: You've missed the run through. But that doesn't matter, get into your costumes, the show is on in a few minutes. Do you realise you could have missed the final run through? NELL takes the boys along to their dressing room followed by the DIRECTOR. PAUL: Where's me grandfather? I've got a word for him. NELL: Aye so have I, missing. NELL: Shurrup! PAUL: Where is he? They go in the dressing room. 66. INTERIOR, DRESSING ROOM NELL: He'll be back. PAUL: Look, where is he? DIRECTOR: He lost him. NELL: Listen, he said he was sorry about Ringo and then I found him trying to sell signed photos of you lot to the wardrobe girls. PAUL: The old villain. PAGE 109 NELL: Aye, particularly as I know he'd forged all the autographs himself. Anyroad, I gave him a telling off and now hedone a bunk. MAL: (who is by the dressing table) Aye and he's got the pictures with him. NELL: How'd you know? MAL: (pointing) Well, you left em here and they're gone and you don't have to guess who's taken 'em. PAUL: Crikey he'll be out there selling 'em ! NELL: Forget it. You lot get ready for the show. I'll find him. JOHN: Try the nick. The police 'll knock him off for selling forged photo's and without licence. PAUL: You mean they'll nick him. GEORGE: It's highly likely. NELL: Shurrup and get ready. PAUL: I can't do a show when its' odds on favourites my Grandfather's in jail. Me mother'd kill me. NELL: I'll find him, you get ready. PAUL: Well I'm not goin on till you do. PAGE 110 DIRECTOR: But. PAUL: No! NELL: I'll find him and I know how. Come head, Mal. They hurry out of the room. 67. INTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE Queues of excited fans, mostly female, including the kids from the canal are waiting to go to see the show --after a moment NELL COMES through the main entrance with MAL. NELL raises his arms and shouts for silence. NELL: Listen, you want to see the boys, don't you. The girls scream. NELL: Well, Paul's Grandfather's lost, will you help us find him? The girls scream. MAL: (to Nell) Well tell 'em what he looks like. NELL: I'm coming to that. He's a little old man about that height. MAL: And he's very clean. NELL: O.K. girls, get out there and get him. With a hunting scream the mob of girls dash off on their quest. There now is a series of shots of excited young girls dashing about the streets capturing little old men. Girls ambushing old age pensioners all over the district. Girls dragging old men from their huts by holes in the road. Girls raiding pensioners clubs, a general attack on all PAGE 111 available older male citizens. During the scene we inter cut a shot of PAUL in the dressing room refusing to change into his show costume. Also a shot of Director in the control room staring with hypnotised horror at the large electric control room clock. Also incut three shots of **This scene appears in what would be Scene 69 of the movie (1) GRANDFATHER selling autographed photos of the boys to a couple of fans. GRANDFATHER is against a billboard advertisement. He has changed the lettering to "Get your genuine autographed signed photos here." 2) GRANDFATHER doing a brisk monetary trade. (3) The crowd is now almost out of hand in a frenzy of bying and in the background the police are closing in. The four small boys notice the police and drag GRANDFATHER backwards out of the scene. 68. INTERIOR/EXTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE LOBBY NELL & MAL at two turnstyles. They are busy examining the little old men the girls present for inspection. As they reject each old man NELL and MAL stamp them with a rubber stamp on their wrist. The stamp says "Export Reject." Each reject is given a bottle of light ale. Suddenly the 4 little boys drag GRANDAD into shot and when NELL and MAL see him, they jump into the crowd and together with the little boys drag hm toward back stage. 69. INTERIOR BACK STAGE, T.V. THEATRE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 79b of the movie** PAUL, JOHN, RINGO, & GEORGE are pacing up and down on the side of the stage, the DIRECTOR is appealing to each of them to no avail. They redressed for the show. DIRECTOR: Please, listen to me, they'll put me back on the epilogue if you don't do the show. NELL and MAL, GRANDFATHER & the kids arrive. The Boys crowd round GRANDFATHER. BOYS: Where've you been? Thank God you're here. It's all your fault. Aw, they didn't nick you. PAGE 112 DIRECTOR: Now do we have a show. NELL: Yeah, Mal take these kids and find 'em seats. I love them. MAL does so. NELL: (to Director) Oughtn't Aren't you supposed to be in the box? DIRECTOR: Yes. PAUL: (turning to GRANDFATHER) Now, Battling John McCartney I've got something Well, I got a few things to say to you two-faced John McCartney. JOHN: Aw leave him alone Paul, he's back, isn't he? And It's not his fault he's old. PAUL: (hotly) What's old got to do with it? he's a troublemaker and a mixer and that's good enough for me. JOHN: You needn't bother. PAUL: Y'what? JOHN: Practising to be thick-headed, you're there already. PAUL: Look he's a mixer and a trouble maker! JOHN: That's You're right, but he's only asking us to pay for attention to him, aren't you? From JOHN's P.O.V. we see GRANDFATHER. He looks what he is, a tired old man. PAGE 113 JOHN: You see. (to Grandad) You know your trouble - you should have gone west to America. You'd have wound up a senior citizen of Boston. As it is you took the wrong turning and what happened - you're a lonely old man from Liverpool. GRANDFATHER: (fighting back) But I'm clean. JOHN: Are you? The BOYS giggle and slap him on the back. MAL: Hey, Nell. NELL: What? MAL: I've been thinking . . . It's not my fault. NELL: What isn't? MAL: I'm not taller than you are, you're smaller than I am. NELL: (raps on Mal's head) Any one at home? GEORGE: Hey Mal, where's me boots? And will you get us some tea while you're there? MAL: All right, George. GEORGE: Ta. NELL: Now, come on then, get changed. Come on then. PAUL: We're on in a minute NELL: Watch it, Paul 70. INTERIOR, TV THEATRE AUDITORIUM **This scene appears in what would be Scene 80 of the movie** Songs: "Tell Me Why," "If I Fell (reprise)", "I Should Have Known Better (reprise)," "She Loves You." We see the audience of girls streaming in and settling down in their places for the show. There is the usual business of getting the show ready and we see SHOTS of the girls' faces, then JOHN, PAUL, RINGO and GEORGE looking at them. At last on cue from the floor manager the boys start their act to the audience's screams. During the number we constantly Cut away to the audience with various SHOTS of the ecstatic girls. In the middle of these shots we see NELL standing at the side of the audience his face glowing with satisfaction. We follow his gaze and from NELL'S P.O.V. we see GRANDFATHER handcuffed to MAL, but in spite of this, the old man is enjoying himself. PAGE 114 The BOYS now perform a medley of numbers, i.e., a little of all the songs we have heard during the story. This gives the impression of a full set and we finish after their bows. While they are doing so they look again in the general direction of MAL and GRANDFATHER and from their P.O.V., we see MAL is beating time to the music but from his wrist dangles an empty set of handcuffs. GRANDFATHER has gone again. As the BOYS are reacting to grandfather's disappearance once again, the trap door on the stage opens and GRANDFATHER appears in the centre of the group as they finish their act and take their final bows. They dive through the cameras for the exit. 71. INTERIOR, STUDIO CORRIDOR **This scene appears in what would be Scene 81 of the movie** NELL is waiting for the boys. With him are two studio attendants carrying the boys' luggage. As the boys excitedly appear he speaks to them. NELL: I've got the stuff and the car's waiting. Come here head. Now I've got the dope. Come in lads. PAUL: Aren't we going. . . NELL: No, we're not! He hurries them along. NELL: The office was on the phone, they think it'd be better if we pushed straight to Wolverhampton. The office has been on the phone, and think it best if we push on to Wolverhampton straight away. JOHN: Tonight? We can't make it . . . We'll never make it. NELL: You've got an early a midnight matinee tomorrow. BOYS: (protesting) It's not fair . . . Look here. . .Aye but. . .Can't we. . . JOHN: Aye Nell. NELL: Now there's only one thing I've only one thing to say to you, John Lennon. JOHN: What? NELL: You're a swine. So hurry up . . . we're travelling! PAGE 115 NELL turns down a side exit where the door is open to the field. In it is an eight-passenger helicopter. 72. EXTERIOR, STAGE DOOR T.V. THEATRE **This scene appears in what would be Scene 82 of the movie** Song "A Hard Day's Night" The BOYS and NELL come out of the building and start to run towards the helicopter. PAUL: (looking behind him) Where's my grandfather? NELL: (arriving at helicopter door) Don't start. Look. The boys look in the passenger bay and there is GRANDFATHER. He is still handcuffed to MAL but clutching his pile of photos. GRANDFATHER: (beckoning them in with his free hand which holds the photos) Come on, you're hanging up the parade. The boys shout "Get rid of those things. etc." 73. EXTERIOR, FIELD **This scene appears in what would be Scene 83 of the movie** The final shot is of the helicopter rising up (shot from below). As it disappears, a shower of photos come from its window. We cut to a close-up of one signed photo as it hits the ground and super the closing credits over it. ADDITIONAL SCENES The following scenes did not appear in the first draft of the script. Some were included in the SECOND draft of the script. And other scenes were improvised - and have been transcribed from the finished film.** ADDITIONAL SCENE #1 - BEFORE THE RUN-THROUGH INTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE NEAR STAGE DOOR The DIRECTOR is pacing up and down the corridor. NELL is also walking up and down, MAL is leaning against the wall (whistling) quite unconcerned. NELL gives MAL a push. NELL: Mal, MAL: What? NELL: Worry, will you! MAL adjusts his features to a worrying expression. DIRECTOR: (bitterly) Well, that's it, two minutes to the final run through they're bound to miss it NELL: I'll murder that Lennon. DIRECTOR: but I suppose we can survive a missed runthrough as long MAL: as they head up for the show. Oh yes, well I mean it'd be a pity to miss the show, wouldn't it like. NELL: Shurrup, cheerful. The horrible prospect hits the DIRECTOR. DIRECTOR: You don't think NELL: (reassuring him) don't worry. DIRECTOR: Oh now, they can't do that to me. (turning on Nell) It's all your fault. (overriding Nell) Oh yes it is and if they don't turn up I wouldn't be in your shoes for all the MAL: (helping out) tea in China. Oh you're right, neither would I. He steps away from NELL and stands near the DIRECTOR. NELL: You dirty traitor! MAL nods his agreement to this assessment of his character. MAL: Of course. (DIRECTOR. Yes, of course.) At this moment JOHN, GEORGE and PAUL enter from the stage door. They are completely unconcerned and walk past the DIRECTOR, MAL and NELL. JOHN: (as he passes by) Hi Nell! NELL: (preoccupied) Hi, John. Hi, our lot The BOYS walk on when after a moment NELL snaps to. NELL: John! Our lot! GEORGE: (mildly) Did you want something. NELL: (beaming with delight) I could eat the lot of you. JOHN: You'd look gear with an apple in your gob. DIRECTOR: (accusingly) Do you realise you could have missed the final run through? GEORGE: Sorry about that. MAL: Nell, there's only three of them. PAUL: Aye, we were looking for Ringo. but we realised he must have come back. DIRECTOR: Do you realise we are on the air, live, in front of an audience, in forty-five minutes and you're one short. JOHN: Control yourself or you'll spurt. he's bound to be somewhere. NELL: Aye, let's try the dressing room. Mal DIRECTOR: Yes, the dressing room. Everyone starts along the passage. NELL and PAUL last. PAUL: Eh, where's my grandfather? NELL: don't worry about him. He can look after himself. PAUL: Aye, I suppose so. They run after the others. ADDITIONAL SCENE #2 - IN THE HOTEL SUITE INTERIOR, HOTEL SUITE There is a reception room and off it lead rooms that are presumably bedrooms, bathroom, etc. JOHN is lying sprawled out on a settee listening to a transistor radio, demolishing a basket of fruit. PAUL is sitting at an upright piano and GRANDFATHER is mooching about the room. One of the doors opens and GEORGE enters followed by RINGO, none of the BOYS are wearing coats. RINGO: I don't snore. GEORGE: You do - repeatedly. RINGO: (to John) Do I snore? JOHN: (eating a banana) You're a window rattler, son. RINGO: Well, that's just your opinion. Do I snore, Paul? PAUL: (stopping playing) With a trombone hooter like yours it'd be unnatural if you didn't. GRANDFATHER: don't mock the afflicted, Pauly. PAUL: Oh for Pete's sake, It's only a joke. GRANDFATHER: Well, it may be a joke, but It's his nose. He can't help having a horrible hideous great hooter nose, It's the only one he's got. And his poor little head's trembling under the weight of it. NELL enters with three piles of fan mail and places them in front of JOHN on a table. RINGO is almost in tears, examining his nose in a mirror. NELL: Paul, John, George - get at it. JOHN: Hello the income tax have caught up with us at last. PAUL and GEORGE gather round the low table. RINGO is left out of it. RINGO: None for me, then? NELL: Sorry. John hands RINGO a single envelope. JOHN: That'll keep you busy. GRANDFATHER: It's your nose, y'see. Fans are funny that way. Take a dislike to things. They'll pick on a nose RINGO: You go and pick on your own. MAL enters with a stack of mail about three times larger than all the others put together. (MAL: Hey, here.) JOHN: Is that yours? MAL: For Ringo. He dumps it in Ringo's arms who staggers into an armchair. The BOYS send him up. JOHN: That must have cost you a fortune in stamps, Ringo. GEORGE: He comes from a large family. RINGO: (dumping the letters) Well. RINGO opens his letter and reads it. It contains a large embossed . RINGO: Eh, what's Boyd's Club (Le Circle Club?) The lads gather round him and PAUL takes the from him and reads. PAUL: "The Management of Boyd's Le Circle Club takes pleasure in requesting the company of Mr. Richard Starkey, that's you, in their recently refinished gaming rooms. Chemin de Fer. Baccarat, Roulette, and Champagne Buffet." Blimey! RINGO: (surprised) And they want me? JOHN: Oh It's got round that you're a heavy punter big spender. NELL: (snatching the card) Well you're not going. RINGO: Ah. GRANDFATHER: (taking from Nell) Quite right, invites to gambling dens full of easy money and fast women, chicken sandwiches and cornets of caviar, disgusting! He pockets the himself. RINGO: that's mine. NELL: Have done, and you lot get your pens out. BOYS: Why? NELL: It's homework time for all you college puddings. I want this lot (he indicates the fan letters) all answered tonight. The BOYS all protest. (RINGO: I want to go out.) NELL: I'll brook no denial! JOHN: It's all right for you, you couldn't get a pen in your foot, you swine. NELL: Come on, Mal, we'll leave 'em to their penmanship. (Chatter on, chatter on, but a touch of the writer's cramp will soon sort you out. Come on Mal.) (MAL: Ta, then.) He goes followed by MAL. There is a pause and JOHN deliberately rises slowly and crosses to his coat. He puts it on and walks to the door. (GEORGE: Where are you going?) JOHN: While the swine's away the piglets can play. What are we waiting for? (He told us to stay here, didn't he?) Come on. With a whoop PAUL, GEORGE and RINGO collect their coats and head for the door. GRANDFATHER: What about all these letters? BOYS: Read 'em! They disappear. After a moment GRANDFATHER takes out Ringo's . C.U. GRANDFATHER: And a free champagne buffet. He grins to himself. At this moment a WAITER enters with a tray. (WAITER: I'll clean up, sir.) He is clad in tails and GRANDFATHER eyes them longingly, measuring himself the while alongside the startled waiter. He leaves us with no doubt in our minds what he wants, i.e., the waiter's suit. ADDITIONAL SCENE #3 - IN THE NIGHT CLUB AND IN THE CASINO INTERIOR, DANCING CLUB Song: "I Want To Be Your Man" The club is the latest in modern decor and full of teen-agers all enjoying themselves. The CAMERA wanders around the club till it finally picks out JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE and RINGO all crowded around one small table. The music is blaring away from a juke box and the BOYS join the dancers. They are recognised and given smiles and nods of encouragement by all the other customers. During this scene we Cut AWAY. INTERIOR, LE CIRCLE CLUB The whole atmosphere is of quiet elegance and loud wealth. Around the baccarat table the rich, bored customers sit barely moving a face muscle as they languidly murmur "suivez" and "banco" to the dealer as he operates the shoe. The manager of the club is beaming with satisfaction as he surveys his customers. One of these customers is clad in evening dress and he has his back to us. The rest of the players (male) are in suits. By each of them is standing a lush lady with a bored sophisticated face that looks as if it has been painted on. From the REVERSE of the LAST SHOT we now see the solitary evening dress player is GRANDFATHER. He looks around him and wipes off his look of enjoyment and elaborately out-bores everyone in the room. DEALER: Alors, M'sieur? GRANDFATHER: (nonchalant) Soufle. He turns to the buxom BLONDE, who is dripping over him. GRANDFATHER: I bet you're a great swimmer. My turn? Bingo! CROUPIER: Pas "Bingo," M'sieur Banco. GRANDFATHER: (taking) I'll take the little darlings anyway. He takes up the s and can't understand that they are unnumbered. GRANDFATHER: Two and one is three, carry one is four. The buxom BLONDE leans over him. BLONDE: Lay them down. GRANDFATHER: (disturbed by his eyeline) Eh? BLONDE: Lay them down. GRANDFATHER: We'd be thrown out. BLONDE: Your cards lay them down face up. He does so. CROUPIER: Huit a la pointe et sept. (He pushes chips and box to Grandfather.) BLONDE: You had a lovely little pair, y'see. GRANDFATHER: I did? CROUPIER taps impatiently on box shoe. BLONDE: they're yours. GRANDFATHER: They are? BLONDE: The s you're bank. INTERIOR, DANCING CLUB Song: "Don't Bother Me" The BOYS are having a rare old time and the place is really moving. INTERIOR, LE CIRCLE CLUB GRANDFATHER is playing and a waiter is checking the requirements of the players. GRANDFATHER: Bingo! CROUPIER: (wearily) M'lord dit "bingo." WAITER: (to Grandfather) A little light refreshment. GRANDFATHER: (lordly) A glass of the old chablis to wash down a gesture of gibblets wouldn't go amiss. (He resumes his game.) Souffle, chop chop. The CROUPIER uses the spatula to pick up a . GRANDFATHER grabs it andscoops some sandwiches off a passing tray. INTERIOR, LE CIRCLE CLUB GRANDFATHER is looking worried at the call of the he loses and we see that all his chips have gone. He notices the waiter delivering snacks and champagne to a couple, so quick as a flash, he places a handkerchief over his arm and writing a bill out on a piece of paper, presents it to the couple and collects payment in chips. He then resumes playing. GRANDFATHER: Bingo! INTERIOR, DANCING CLUB Song: RAll My Loving The BOYS are at their table again laughing and enjoying themselves, when suddenly their faces freeze. From their P.O.V. we see NELL standing glowering down at them. With him is MAL. Reluctantly the BOYS Arise and follow NELL out. ADDITIONAL SCENE #4 - RETURN TO THE HOTEL SUITE INTERIOR, HOTEL ROOM Waiter is sitting on chair in underclothes, reading. He hears a noise, says RThe manager!S and hides in outer clothes closet. NELL and the BOYS enter saying: NELL: Now get on with it. JOHN: We were going to do it. NELL: Aye, well, now! (He goes through bedroom.) RINGO goes to hang up coat in closet. He does so, then crosses to rest. RINGO: Any of you lot put a man in that cupboard? ALL: A man? No. RINGO: Well somebody did. GEORGE goes to cupboard. We see the WAITER from his P.O.V. He closes door, returns to group. GEORGE: he's right, y'know. BOYS: (disinterested) Ah well, there you go. MAL enters front door, goes to hang up coat and drags WAITER out. MAL: Eh, what's all this? PAUL: Oh, him he's been lurking. JOHN: Aye, he looks a right lurker. MAL: (to WAITER) You're undressed. Where are your clothes? WAITER: The old gentlemen borrowed them to go gambling at Le Circle. PAUL: No! RINGO: Oh, he's gone to my club, has he? PAUL: (turning on Ringo) Yeah, It's all your fault, getting invites to gambling clubs. he's probably in the middle of an orgy by now. JOHN: Well, what are we waiting for? MAL: Aye, come on, honest, that grandfather of yours is worse than any of you lot. (WAITER: What about me?) (JOHN: Too old.) ADDITIONAL SCENE #5 - BACK AT THE CASINO INTERIOR, LE CIRCLE CLUB GRANDFATHER is drinking champagne in locked arms with BLONDE. WAITER: Encore de champagne, Monsieur? GRANDFATHER: Yes, and I'll have some more champagne as well. He takes another swig of his glass. MANAGER: (beaming) Lord John McCartney, he's the millionaire Irish Peer, filthy rich of course. CUSTOMER: Oh I don't know, looks rather (quite) clean to me. The MANAGER comes to grandfather's side. MANAGER: Play is about to resume, m'lord. GRANDFATHER: (handing him a chip) Lead me to it, I've a winning itch that only success can pacify. He takes his place at the table. The MANAGER watches for a moment then moves away from the table towards the club reception desk. INTERIOR, LE CIRCLE CLUB RECEPTION DESK JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE, RINGO, NELL and MAL are trying to gain entrance. (NELL: Come ahead you lot. Try to act with a bit of decorum - this is a posh place.) (JOHN. We know how to behave, we've had lessons.) ATTENDANT: I'm sorry sir, members and invited guests only. PAUL, GEORGE, RINGO, JOHN: I've got to get in. It's urgent and important. I've had an invite. Take me to your leader. NELL: Shurrup. The boys do. (NELL: Well, uh ) (ATTENDANT: (letting them in) Oh, yes.) (MAL: I'm with them, I'm Ringo's sister.) The BOYS enter and meanwhile the MANAGER has walked into SHOT. He recognises the BOYS and welcomes them with false enthusiasm. They all start to enter the main room. NELL: All we want to know is Have you got a little old man in there? MANAGER: (pleasantly) Do you mean Lord McCartney? C.U. PAUL: he's at it again, look, I'm his grandfather I mean BLONDE: (standing next to Grandfather) Oh, it must be the dolly floor show. JOHN: Stay where you are everybody this is a raid and we want him. GRANDFATHER: Who are these ruffians? I've never seen them before in my life! . . They grab the protesting GRANDFATHER and drag him into the reception area. He keeps trying to return to BLONDE and table. GEORGE and RINGO each take an end of the velvet cord hanging between the two stanchions. They exchange ends and re-hook it, thus encircling GRANDFATHER by the entrance desk. They then go to settle up. MANAGER: (with false charm) Before you go, gentlemen, there's the small matter of the bill. He snaps his fingers and a waiter hands him the bill. NELL: (taking it) I'll settle that. He glances at it. NELL: A hundred and eighty pounds! MANAGER: (icily) I beg your pardon, guineas. At that moment a WAITER appears with a tray full of pound notes. WAITER: Your winnings, my lord, one hundred and ninety pounds. The MANAGER tears up the bill and takes the money. GRANDFATHER: How about me change? MANAGER: Cloak room charge. He hands GRANDFATHER his old mackintosh. RINGO: (brightly) Ah well, easy come, easy go. (The others glower at him.) Well. ADDITIONAL SCENE #6 - HOTEL BATHROOM INTERIOR, LARGE HOTEL BATHROOM, DAY The bath is full of bubbles and the bubbles are high over the top of the bath. After a moment, John's head appears out of the bubbles; he is wearing his leather cap and in his hands are a toy merchant ship and a toy submarine. He begins to play an elaborate game of U-Boat hunting of British ships; he conducts the game in pig German, barking orders. GEORGE now enters, he is dressed in his undervest and trousers, and he is carrying a sponge bag and hand towel. Behind lumbers MAL. JOHN: Guten morgan, mein Herr. Konnen Sie nach ein tea haben? Ah, the filthy Englander, gootey morgee. MAL: (off hand)(Keep Britain tidy.) (Pleadingly)Aw, go on George. GEORGE: don't be ridiculous. MAL: You said I could. GEORGE: Honest, me mind boggles at the very idea. A grown man, and you've never shaved with a safety razor. MAL: It's not my fault, I'm from a long line of electricians. GEORGE: Well, you're not practising on me. MAL: All right. Well, show us then. GEORGE: (long suffering) Oh, come on then. GEORGE has unpacked his razor and can of lather. He now has an idea, and instead of lathering his face, he lathers MAL's image in the mirror and to demonstrate shaving, he shaves the image. He, however, pulls all the appropriate faces of shaving on his own face followed closely by MAL. In the background JOHN continues the North Atlantic sea-war. JOHN: Rule Britannia, Britannia rule the GEORGE: Put that tongue away, it looks disgusting hanging there all pink and naked - one slip of the razor and CLOSE UP MAL as he hastily withdraws his tongue with a gulp. At this moment there is a loud sound from JOHN, then a cry of: JOHN: Hilf ich, uns hilfen. Help! MAL AND GEORGE rush to the bath side just in time to see JOHN disappear below the surface of the bubbles. GEORGE: (to Mal) Torpedoed again. They are about to resume the shaving lesson when NELL enters. NELL: And what's all this? Do you know there's a car waiting to take you lot to the television place? (He bundles MAL and GEORGE out of bathroom.) Where's John? Come on lads, there's a car waiting to take you to the studio. Where's John? GEORGE: (as he exits) In the bath. NELL crosses to the bath. NELL: Right you are Lennon. NELL: All right, Lennon, let's have you. CLOSE UP NELL looking smug. There is no response so NELL goes to the top of the bath and pulls out the plug. NELL: Come on John, stop larking about. NELL waits a moment then turns to the bath, a look of horror comes over his face and we see the bath is empty. NELL: John! John! We Cut from bath to NELL, still amazed, and John's head comes into frame. JOHN: I wonder how I did it! What are you messing around with that boat for? there's a car waiting, come on! ADDITIONAL SCENE #7 AT THE TV THEATRE INTERIOR, STAGE DOOR ENTRANCE HOTEL LOBBY. As the BOYS move off after NELL, they pass the next act waiting for rehearsal. It is an elegant man in full tails suit meticulously adjusting his cufflinks. Beside him is a free- standing sign reading "Leslie Jackson and his ten disappearing doves." The BOYS pass him and go through the door. GRANDFATHER stops and looks at the performer with respect. GRANDFATHER: I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed your act. (Leslie Jackson! I saw your father in the old empire in 1909. If you're as good as him son, you're all right.) He slaps the man on the back with happy camaraderie. There is the sound of a dove, a few feathers fall out of the sleeve of the man's coat and he and GRANDFATHER look down at the floor. The man glares at GRANDFATHER, takes out a pen from his pocket, crosses out "10" on his sign, and writes R9S in its place, puts the pen back in his pocket and starts towards the centre stage putting on a false performer's smile as he does. ADDITIONAL SCENE #8 - IN THE DRESSING ROOM INTERIOR, DRESSING ROOM NELL and MAL enter the room. The BOYS' TAILOR is there waiting for the BOYS. (NELL: Not here. Hello Dickie.) MAL: Oh they've probably gone to the canteen, cup of tea, like. NELL: that's too easy for Lennon. (He crosses the room and sits down.) NELL: (dramatically) he's out there somewhere, causing trouble just to upset me. MAL: You're imagining it. You're letting things prey on your mind. NELL: Oh no this is a battle of nerves between John and me. MAL: but John hasn't got any. NELL: What? MAL: Nerves. NELL: I know, that's the trouble. He puffs nervously at his cigarette. Oh, I've toyed with the idea of a ball and chain but he'd only rattle them at me and in public and all. Sometimes I think he enjoys seeing me suffer. ADDITIONAL SCENE #9 - IN THE THEATRE CORRIDOR INTERIOR, CORRIDOR ON WAY TO DRESSING ROOM JOHN is behind them. JOHN, BOYS and MILLIE are walking towards each other. MILLIE: (as all pass) Hello. JOHN: (stopping the boys carry on past, not noticing her) Hello. MILLIE: Oh, wait a minute, don't tell me you're JOHN: No, not me. MILLIE: (insistently) Oh you are, I know you are. JOHN: No, I'm not. MILLIE: You are. JOHN: I'm not. No. MILLIE: Well, you look like him. JOHN: Oh do I? You're the first one who ever said that. MILLIE: Oh you do, look. JOHN looks at himself in the mirror. JOHN examines himself in the mirror carefully. JOHN: My eyes are lighter. MILLIE: (agreeing) Oh yes. JOHN: And my nose MILLIE: Well, yes your nose is. Very. JOHN: Is it? MILLIE: I would have said so. JOHN: Aye, but you know him well. MILLIE: (indignantly) No I don't, he's only a casual acquaintance. JOHN: (knowingly) that's what you say. MILLIE: (suspiciously) What have you heard. JOHN: (blandly) It's all over the place, everyone knows. MILLIE: Is it, is it really. JOHN: Mind you, I stood up for you, I mean I wouldn't have it. MILLIE: I knew I could rely on you. JOHN: (modestly) Thanks. MILLIE touches his arm then walks away. After a moment she turns. MILLIE: You don't look like him at all. JOHN winks at her and she winks back. (JOHN: She looks more like him than I do.) ADDITIONAL SCENE #10 - AROUND THE THEATRE (INTERIOR, REHEARSAL HALL We see rehearsal and stage set up going on for an opera. Cross cut to Control Room.) INTERIOR, BACKSTAGE CORRIDOR GRANDFATHER is sneaking down the corridor, a pile of photos under his arm. (V.O. GIRL: he's a very clean man ) Five beautiful MODELS are standing about in costume. One is knitting a loose wool sweater which is almost completed. There is the sound of a juggling act's music off and a few of the girls are looking off towards the centre stage. At the edge of frame is a collapsible table covered with green baize. On it are three spaced white plates. From the door off stage above which is a sign "To Canteen and Production Offices," GRANDFATHER enters eating a plate of spaghetti on toast. The knitting GIRL sees him and, in mime, asks him to stand still so that she can measure the sweater against him. GRANDFATHER, eager to help, puts his plate of food on the green table between plates two and three. He goes to be measured with the sweater. From the onstage area, a juggler's ASSISTANT (pretty girl) in costume backs up and with the usual theatrical flourishes picks up, without looking, plate number ONE and throws it off screen towards centre stage. There is a drum roll from orchestra. She then throws plate number TWO. We Cut on stage to the JUGGLER now balancing the two spinning plates on two poles, one in each hand. He has another pole in his mouth and nods to his ASSISTANT, asking for the THIRD plate. We Cut BACK to the ASSISTANT who, still not looking, throws plate THREE which is grandfather's. There is the sound of an orchestra raggedly stopping and all the hangers-on in the scene look off interestedly. We hear the DIRECTOR's voice. DIRECTOR: (V.O.) All right, hold it, hold IAit O.K. John, wipe him down and we'll carry on with the next act. We Cut TO centre stage. The JUGGLER is as before but the spaghetti is covering his head, having slipped off the third plate. The FLOOR MANAGER is bustling around, trying to help. We Cut BACK to backstage. GRANDFATHER has finished being measured and goes to the green table where he put his plate down. He picks up the only remaining plate, looks at it, wondering where his food has gone, shrugs and heads back towards the exit door as we hear the DIRECTOR's VOICE. INTERIOR, BACKSTAGE A man, whose act is playing tunes by hitting himself on the head, is swallowing a handful of aspirin tablets. He starts rehearsing his act, which consists of throwing his head back and slapping his cheeks. Next to him, a JUGGLER is practising with four table tennis balls. GRANDFATHER passes him and bumps his arm slightly. Only 3 balls come down. There is the sound of coughing off. We Cut TO THE HEAD-PLAYER being patted on the back. The ball drops out of his mouth and bounces slowly on the studio floor. ADDITIONAL SCENE #11 - OUTSIDE THE THEATRE EXTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE CLOSE UP GRANDFATHER: Personally signed and handwritten by your own sweet boys. The chance of a lifetime. Be the envy of your less fortunate sisters! The CAMERA PULLS back and we see GRANDFATHER is surrounded by girls who have broken from the queue and are doing a brisk trade with the old man. He has a large sign on which is written: RGet your genuine autographed Beatles photographs.S On the edge of the crowd two POLICEMEN are trying to force the girls back into the queue. Finally they wade through the girls and confront GRANDFATHER. They look at the old man quizzically; he stares back coldly. They indicate he should hop it and quick but GRANDFATHER defiantly glares back at them. So with a sigh, they grab an arm each and escort the old man off. ADDITIONAL SCENE #12 - IN THE POLICE STATION INTERIOR, POLICE STATION It is the reception desk and behind it is the DESK SERGEANT. After a moment RINGO is dragged in by the POLICEMAN we saw him with before. RINGO: Look, I'm Ringo Starr I've got a show to do in a few minutes you've got to let me go I'm Ringo. POLICEMAN: Sure, they all say that these days .J.J. Anyway .J.J. I don't care who you are you can save that for the stipendary. Here you are Sarge. SERGEANT: What is he? POLICEMAN: (reeling off the list) I've got a little list here. Wandering abroad. Malicious intent. Acting in a suspicious manner. Conduct liable to cause a breach of the peace. You name it, he's done it. SERGEANT: Oh, a little savage, is he? POLICEMAN: A proper little Aborigine. RINGO: (on his dignity) I demand to see me solicitor. SERGEANT: What's his name? RINGO: Oh, well if you're going to get technical. At that moment there is a loud series of noises off camera, furious shouting and dull crashes of wood. SERGEANT: Hello, It's going to be one of those nights, is it. (to policeman) Sit Charley Peace down over there. The POLICEMAN takes RINGO to a bench and sits him down as GRANDFATHER and the two POLICEMEN who were with him enter. The sign is tattered and is being lugged after them. GRANDFATHER: Well, you got me here so do your worst but I'll take one of you with me. (kicks the nearest policeman) Oh, I know your game, get me in the tiled room and out come the rubber hoses but I'll defy you still. SERGEANT: Is there a fire, then? GRANDFATHER leans across the desk and hisses at the SERGEANT. GRANDFATHER: You ugly, great brute you, you have sadism stamped all over your bloated British kisser. SERGEANT: Eh? GRANDFATHER: I'll go on a hunger strike. I know your caper. The kidney punch and the rabbit-clout. The third degree and the size twelve boot ankle- tap. SERGEANT: What's he on about? GRANDFATHER: (squaring up) I'm soldier of the Republic, you'll need the mahogany truncheon for this boyo. A nation once again. A nation once again. SERGEANT: (to policemen) Get Lloyd George over there with that mechanic in the cloth cap while I sort this lot out. (POLICEMAN. Sit down over here.) The POLICEMEN hurtle GRANDFATHER firmly but gently over to the bench on which RINGO is sitting and then return to the desk for a whispered conference with the SERGEANT. Meanwhile in full conspiratorial fashion GRANDFATHER talks to RINGO out of the side of his mouth. GRANDFATHER: Ringo, me old scout, they grabbed yer leg for the iron too, did they? RINGO: Well I'm not exactly a voluntary patient. GRANDFATHER: Shush! Have they roughed you up yet? RINGO: What? GRANDFATHER: (whispering) Keep your voice down, this lot'll paste you, just for the exercise. Oh they're a desperate crew of drippings and they've fists like matured hams for pounding defenceless lads like you. (SERGEANT: So that's it, eh?) RINGO: (disturbed) Have they? GRANDFATHER: That sergeant's a bodyblow veteran if ever I measured one. One of us has got to escape. I'll get the boys. Hold on son, I'll be back for you. RINGO: (horrified) Me! GRANDFATHER: And if they get you on the floor watch out for your brisket. RINGO: (hopefully) Oh, they seem alright to me. GRANDFATHER: that's what they want you to think. All coppers are villains. SERGEANT: (calling) Would you two like a cup of tea? GRANDFATHER: You see, sly villains. RINGO: (miserable) No thanks, Mr. Sergeant, sir. (No, not for me. Please don't.) We now have a CLOSE SHOT of POLICEMEN Uround the sergeant's desk. SERGEANT: So you just brought the old chap out of the crowd for his own good. POLICEMAN: Yeah, but he insisted on us bringing him to the station. (Well, he was getting a bit nasty, you see, so we had to bring him in.) SERGEANT: Well, he can't stop here. (This is the stuff he's been hawking Uround is it?) Shot of GRANDFATHER watching POLICEMEN intently and muttering words as he does. (POLICEMAN: Yes Sergeant, photographs.) (SERGEANT Photographs ) RINGO: What are you doing? GRANDFATHER: Lip reading. RINGO: What are they saying? GRANDFATHER: Nothing good. The POLICEMEN make a move towards GRANDFATHER and RINGO. GRANDFATHER: Well son, It's now or never. He jumps to his feet and scurries towards the door. GRANDFATHER: Alright, you paid assassins. Johnny McCartney'll give you a run for your threepence ha'penny. He dashes out of the door followed by the POLICEMAN who has his pile of photos. (POLICEMAN. Hey, you forgot your photographs.) SERGEANT: Now, what's he up to? RINGO: he's allergic to bobbies, especially English bobbies. The POLICEMAN with the photos returns. POLICEMAN: (Irish accent) Your man disappeared like a leveret over a hill. RINGO: Turncoat! The POLICEMEN turn on RINGO and walk towards him. CLOSE UP RINGO RINGO: Mother! ADDITIONAL SCENE #13 - FROM THE POLICE STATION TO THE THEATRE EXTERIOR, STREET GRANDFATHER is running at top speed down the street. He is breathing heavily and runs as if pursued by the hounds of hell. The street however is entirely empty and no one is even in sight. As he reaches the top of the street he pauses and turning, looks around him. From his P.O.V. we see just how empty the street is and heaving a sigh of relief GRANDFATHER cackles to himself. His trI'mph is short lived. At this precise moment down the street comes a parade of police vehicles, a Black Maria, an escorting police motor bike patrol and an ordinary squad car. The procession draws up and the street is full of policemen getting out of the Black Maria and squad car and off motor bikes. CLOSE UP grandfather's horrified face. GRANDFATHER: Be God, they've called up reinforcements, the dragnet's out! He dashes off wildly in the general direction of the theatre. He has been completely unnoticed by the policemen who are lining up for a last minute inspection by the inspector in charge. The inspector is like a commander- in-chief of a spear-head attack force. They smartly march off in the direction taken by GRANDFATHER. ADDITIONAL SCENE #14 - BACK AT THE THEATRE INTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE CONTROL ROOM DIRECTOR: (watching the clock) Only half an hour and you're on! GEORGE: Can I say something? The director clutches at any straw. DIRECTOR: (hopefully) Yes, anything. GEORGE: (earnestly) It's highly unlikely we'll be on I mean the law of averages are against you and it seems that, etc., etc.J.J. . (I think if we could get the juggler on with a couple more clubs, that would fill in for a bit of time.) but his speech is drowned by the pitiful moans of the Director. ADDITIONAL SCENE #15 - OUTSIDE THE THEATRE EXTERIOR, T.V. THEATRE STAGE DOOR Grandfather, still running, suddenly breaks into a forced nonchalance as he nears the theatre. The four little boys from the canal (three little boys) are being driven away by the security guard. GUARD: (going back into theatre) I'll have the hides off of you lot. The kids retreat as GRANDFATHER pants into shot, ignoring the kids he enters the stage door but in a second he is out again, grasped firmly by the collar by the security guard. The queue laughs. GUARD: You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Go home! GRANDFATHER: I must see Pauly. GUARD: Go home then and see him on the telly. The GUARD re-enters the stage door. GRANDFATHER looks around him and sees the four kids. (three kids). He hustles over and after a whispered conference we hear his offer. GRANDFATHER: Can you fix him for me? BOYS: Yeah. GRANDFATHER: Sixpence. BOY: Each. GRANDFATHER is about to argue. GRANDFATHER: Oh, all right. BOY: In advance. GRANDFATHER: Mercenaries! but he hands over the money. The kids rush in the stage door and after a moment the furious GUARD chases them out and down the alley. GRANDFATHER, chuckling, nips in the door. INTERIOR, T.V. CONTROL ROOM ON STAGE GRANDFATHER is being chased by several studio attendants, he is dodging behind equipment. He finally gets on a sound boom trolley and uses it as a weapon to keep his pursuers at bay. ADDITIONAL SCENE #16 - IN THE T.V. CONTROL ROOM INTERIOR, T.V. CONTROL ROOM The DIRECTOR, BOYS, and NELL and MAL see GRANDFATHER on the monitors. They dash out of the room and on to the stage. DIRECTOR: (shouting) It's all right, leave him alone. (P.A.: What's up Richard?) (GRANDFATHER: Pauly, where are you?) PAUL: Grandad, where's Ringo? GRANDFATHER: The police have the poor unfortunate lad in the Bridewell. BOYS: The Police Station? GRANDFATHER: He'll be pulp by now. JOHN: What are we waiting for? GEORGE: Come here. (NELL: Go and get him.) DIRECTOR: Quickly now - quickly hurry now. (BEATLES: (off) We'll get him, Nell. (Bark like dogs.)) DIRECTOR: we've only got twenty minutes. ADDITIONAL SCENE #17 - BEATLES TO THE RESCUE! EXTERIOR, STREET OUTSIDE POLICE STATION PAUL, JOHN and GEORGE come running down the street in single file, their knees high in the air, they skid to a halt at the police station and without pausing they dash inside. After a moment they reappear only this time RINGO (and a POLICEMAN) are behind them. They dash off down the street. Song: "Can't Buy Me Love" They are followed at once by ten policeman also in single file. They are also pounding along knees high in the air. The BOYS and the coppers disappear around the corner. (RINGO comes out of the station last, looks around to see what direction the others took, then chases after them.) (We see a THIEF attempting to open a car door. When he hears approaching footsteps, he pretends to file his nails. The BEATLES, pursued by the cops, run past him and then back again. He falls down.) Having hit a dead end cul-de-sac, they reappear from the other direction, then run down the street still followed by the policemen. When they reach the police station another group of police bars their way so they are forced to run up the stairs and inside. INTERIOR, POLICE STATION The DESK SERGEANT is standing behind his desk looking very surprised. At this moment the boys run in and stand panting in front of the desk. Before the Sergeant can start speaking the pursuing policemen arrive. They, too, are out of breath. Singing stops. SERGEANT: What is all this? JOHN: (heaving and panting) Hold on until we get our breath. The boys and policemen pant on until JOHN seems to have recovered. SERGEANT: All right now? JOHN: Sure. (to boys) Ready? Singing resumes as the BOYS nod and without further ado they turn and run through the surprised rank of Policemen and out into the street. EXTERIOR, STREET The chase carries on. Shots of boys being pursued (still in single file) by police, including the sergeant with one shot where the boys are chasing the policemen. (As the THIEF we saw earlier finally pries the car door open the Beatles run past him again. He gets in the car. When the Police pass by one of them gets into the car beside him. The policeman gestures and they drive off after the rest.) Finally, as they approach the theatre, they are seen by the girl fans who swarm around the police, over running them. The boys grin to each other and are about to make off when from their P.O.V. we see the Inspector and Policemen blocking it. JOHN: Ah well, it was worth a try. INSPECTOR: (calling to Sergeant) What do you think you're up to? SERGEANT: Arrest those boys, sir. INSPECTOR: that's all we need to start a real riot! (to Boys) Come on lads, they're waiting for you. INTERIOR, THEATRE BACKSTAGE The Inspector now hustles the BOYS through the crowds and in through the main entrance of the theatre where MAL and NELL are waiting. NELL looks suspiciously at RINGO who is still wearing his cap. RINGO whips it off and NELL delightedly hugs him. The BOYS dash through the stalls entrance and on stage. The DIRECTOR sees them and bursts into tears with relief. NELL hustles the lads into the wings to be changed into their show costumes. All around them last minute preparations are going on. (NELL: Lads, lads, you're back. Thank goodness! Where's Ringo?) (PAUL: There he is. we've got him.) (NELL: Great!)