THE LOST WEEKEND 1945, Paramount Pictures, Directed by Billy Wilder, Screenplay by Charles Brackett WICK You better take this along, Don. It's going to be cold on the farm. DON Okay. WICK How many shirts are you taking? DON Three. WICK I'm taking five. DON Five? WICK Yeah, I told them at the office I might not be back until Tuesday. We'll get there this afternoon. That'll give us all Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. We'll make it a long wonderful weekend. DON Sounds long, all right. WICK It'll be good for you Don, after what you've been through. Trees and grass and sweet cider and buttermilk and water from that well that's colder than any other... DON Wick, please, why this emphasis on liquids? Very dull liquids. WICK Sorry, Don. DON You know, I think it'd be a good idea if we took along my typewriter. WICK What for? DON To write. I'm gonna write there. Get started on that novel. WICK You really feel up to writing? DON Why not? WICK I mean, after what you've been through. DON I haven't touched the stuff for ten days now. WICK I know. I know you haven't Don. Where is the typewriter? DON In the living room, in the closet, kinda towards the back. WICK Are you sure it's in the closet? I can't find it. DON Well look by the desk. WICK Isn't it under your bed? Did you find it? DON Oh sure, sure here it is. WICK And here's some paper. Tell you what we'll do, we'll fix up a table on the south porch and nobody'll disturb you, i'll see to it. And maybe Saturday we can run down to the Country Club. DON I'm not going near that Country Club. WICK Why not? DON Because they're a bunch of hypocrites and I don't like to be whispered about; Look who's here from New York. The Birnam brothers or rather the nurse and the invalid. WICK Oh. Stop it Don. Nobody there knows about you. DON No? The minute we get off the train the alarm is sounded: The leper is back, Hide your liquor. WICK That's Helen. I'll take it. Helen. HELEN Hello, Wick. Where's Don? I'm glad I made it. I was afraid you'd be gone. Presents. The new Thruber book, with comical jokes and pictures. A nice quiet little double murder by Agatha Christie. Cigarettes, chewing gum and darling, have a wonderful time. And don't forget, lots of sleep, lots of milk... DON Lots of cider, lots of ice cold water from the well. I know. HELEN Bend down. And now I must be going. I've missed ten minutes of the concert already. So long Wick. DON What concert? HELEN Carnegie Hall. Barbirolli conducting. They gave me two tickets at the office. DON Who are you going with? HELEN Nobody. DON Nobody? What are they playing? HELEN Brahms' Second Symphony, something by Beethoven, somehing by Handel and not one note of Grieg. DON Sounds wonderful. HELEN Goodbye, boys. See you Monday. (00:05:00)** ** WICK Tuesday. DON Wait a minute. Wick, I just had a crazy idea. WICK As for instance. DON Who says we have to take the three fifteen train? We could go on the six-thirty. WICK What are you talking about? DON Well, I just thought we could take a later train and Helen wouldn't have to the concert by herself. She's got two tickets, hasn't she? HELEN No, no. I'm not going to upset any plans. You're going on that three fifteen. DON Oh. Now Helen, it's so silly! A whale of a concert and an empty seat next to you. WICK No, Don. Everything's all set. Now they'll be at the station to meet us and dinner'll be waiting. DON Put in a call that we're talking the later train and have dinner at nine o'clock, we'll be in bed by ten. WICK Nothing doing. We're going. HELEN Wick is right. And don't worry about that empty seat. I'll find myself a nice handsome South American millionaire. DON There you are. Did you hear her. Besides, we'd have to break our necks anyway to catch the train. HELEN It's five to three. DON You see? Oh, don't be so stubborn Wick. WICK All right. Go ahead. DON Just a minute. I'm not going. WICK Then what are we talking about? DON Well, I want you to go. You and Helen. WICK Me and Helen? DON That's the idea. Who likes Brahms, you or I? WICK Since when don't you like Brahms? DON I'll just stick around here and finish packing. Take a little nap maybe. WICK Nonsense. If anybody goes...Helen's your girl. HELEN There's something in that, Don. WICK And what's more, I don't think you should be left alone. DON I shouldn't? WICK No. DON I oughtn't be trusted. Is that it? HELEN Really, Don. WICK After what you've been through... DON After what I've been through, I couldn't go to a concert. I couldn't even face the crowds. I couldn't sit through it with all those people. Besides, I want to be alone for a couple of hours and kind of assemble myself. Is that such an extraordinary thing to want? WICK Don't act so outraged, would you mind? DON All right. Anything else? HELEN Please, boys. WICK Come on, Helen. HELEN You'll stay right here? DON Where would I go? HELEN Then you'll be here when we come back? DON I told you, I'm not leaving this apartment. WICK You've told us a good many things, Don. DON All right, if you don't belive me, why don't you tak emy key and lock me in like a dog. HELEN (to Wick) We've got to trust Don. That's the only way. WICK Sorry, Don. (to Helen) Let's go Helen. HELEN So long, Don. DON So long. HELEN Bend down. WICK What's this? DON That? It's whiskey, isn't it? WICK How did it get there? DON I don't know. WICK I suppose it dropped from some cloud. Or someone was bouncing it against this wall and it got stuck there. DON I guess I must have put it there. WICK Yes, you must. DON Only I don't remember when. Probably during my last spell, maybe the one before. I don't know. (to Helen) Don't look at me like that, Helen. It doesn't mean a thing. I didn't know it was there. Even if I had, I wouldn't have touched it. WICK Then you won't mind. DON Mind what? WICK Now, you trot along with Helen. DON Why? Because of that? You think I wanted you out of the apartment because of the bottle? I resent that like the devil, and if there's one more word of discussion, I don't leave on your blasted weekend. HELEN Let's go, Wick. (to Don) You'll be good. Won't you, Don, darling? DON Yes, Helen. Would you just stop watching me all the time, you two. Let me work it out my way. I'm trying, I'm trying. HELEN I know you're trying, Don. We're both trying. You're trying not to drink and I'm trying not to love you. WICK Call the farm Don and tell them we're taking the six-thirty. DON Sure. WICK So long. (to Helen) Come on, Helen. HELEN Should Wick... WICK He'll be all right. HELEN What if he goes out and buys another bottle? WICK With what? He hasn't a nickel. There isn't a store or bar that'll give him five cents' worth of credit. HELEN Are you sure he hasn't got another bottle hidden someplace? WICK Not anymore, he hasn't. I went over the apartment with a fine- toothed comb. The places he can figure out! (00:10:00)** ** DON Who is it? WHO IS IT? MRS. FOLEY Mrs. Foley. Come to clean up. DON Well, not today. Does it have to be today? MRS. FOLEY I ought to change the sheets, and it's my day to vacuum. DON Come on Monday. MRS. FOLEY All right, Mr. Birnam. Is your brother in? DON No, he isn't MRS. FOLEY What about my money? Didn't he leave my money? DON What money? MRS. FOLEY My ten dollars. Didn't he leave it? DON Probably. And where would he leave it? MRS. FOLEY In the kitchen. DON Where in the kitchen? MRS. FOLEY In the sugar bowl. DON Just a minute. I'm sorry, Mrs. Foley. It isn't there. He must have forgotten. MRS. FOLEY Oh, Putt! I wanted to do some shopping. DON You'll get it Monday. MRS. FOLEY All right Mr. Birnam. DON Two bottles of rye. BROPHY I'm sorry, Mr. Birnam. DON What are you sorry about? BROPHY Your brother was in. He said he's not going to pay for you anymore. That was the last time. DON Two bottles of rye. BROPHY What brand? DON You know what brand, Mr. Brophy. The cheapest. None of that twelve year old, aged-in-the-wood chichi. Not for me. Liquor is all one, anyway. BROPHY You want a bag? DON Yes, I want a bag. BROPHY Your brother said not to sell you anything even if you did have the money to pay for it, but I can't stop anybody, can I? Not unless you're a minor. DON I'm not a minor, Mr. Brophy and just to ease your conscience, I'm buying this to refill my cigarette lighter. FRUIT MAN Yes, sir. Thank you. DON Good afternoon, Mrs. Deveridge. DEVERIDGE Hello, Mr. Birnam. (to her companion) That's that nice young man who drinks. DON How is my very good friend, Nat, today? NAT Yes, Mr. Birnam. DON This being an espeically fine afternoon, I have decided to ask for your hand in marriage. NAT Look, Mr. Birnam... DON If that were to be your attitude, Nat, I shall have to drown my sorrows in a jigger of rye. Just one, that's all. NAT Can't be done, Mr. Birnam. DON Can't? Let me guess why. My brother was here, undermining my financial structure. NAT I didn't tell him nothing about the wrist watch you left here, or your cuff links. DON Thank you very much, Nat. Today, you'll be glad to know, we can barter on a cash basis. NAT One straight rye. DON That was the idea. Don't wipe it away, Nat. Let ;me have my little vicious circle. You know the circle is the perfect geometric figure. No end, no beginning...What time is it? NAT Quarter of four. DON Good. We have the whole afternoon together. Will you let me know when it's a quarter of six. It's very important. I'm going to the country for a weekend with my brother. GLORIA Hello, Mr. Birnam. Happy to have you back with the organization. DON Hello, Gloria. (to Nat) I wish I could take you alond, Nat. You...and all that goes with you. Not that I'm cutting myself off from civilization altogether. Now of course there arises the problem of transportation into the country. How to smuggle these two time bombs past the royal guard. I'll roll one bottle in a copy of the Saturday Evening Post, so my brother can discover it like that. And I want him to discover it, because that'll set his mind at ease. The other bottle...Come here. That one I'm tucking into my brother's suitcase. He shall transport it himself, without knowing it, of course. Then, while he's greeting the caretaker, I'll slide it out and hide it in a hollow of the old apple tree. (00:15:00)** ** NAT Aw, Mr. Birnam, why don't you lay off the stuff fora while? DON Well, I may never touch it while I'm there. Not a drop. What you don't understand, all you you, is that I've got to know it's around. That I can have it if I need it. I can't be cut off completely. That's the devil. That's what drives you crazy. NAT Yeah. I know. I know a lot of guys like that. They take a bottle and put it on the shelf. All they want is just to look at it. They won't even carry a corkscrew along, just to make sure. Then, all of a sudden, they grab the bottle and bite off the neck. DON Nat, one more reproving word and I shall consult our lawyer about a divorce. Now don't forget, quarter of six. My brother must find me home, ready and packed. (to Gloria) Shall we dance? GLORIA You're awfully pretty, Mr. Birnam. DON I bet you tell that to all the boys. GLORIA Why, natch. Only with you it's on the level. DON Yeah. Sit down. GLORIA No thanks. Thanks a lot, but no thanks. There's somebody waiting. DON Him? I bet he wears arch supporters. GLORIA Oh. He's just an old friend of the folks. Lovely gentleman. He buys me dimpled Scotch. DON He sould buy you Indian rubies, and a villa in Calcutta overlooking the Ganges. GLORIA Don't be ridic. DON Gloria, please, why imperil our friendship with these loathsome abbreviations. GLORIA I could make myself free for later on, if you want. DON No Gloria, I'm going away for the weekend. Some other time. GLORIA Any time. Just crazy about the back of your hair. DON Nat, weave me another. GLORIA You'd better take it easy. DON Oh. Don't worry about me. Just let me know when it's a quarter of six. NAT Okay. DON Come on, Nat. Join me. Just one little jigger of dreams. NAT No thanks. DON You don't approve of drinking? NAT Not the way you drink. DON It shrinks my liver, doesn't it, Nat? It pickles my kidNeys. Yes. But what does it do to my mind? It tosses the sandbags overboard so the balloon can soar. Suddenly, I'm above the ordinary. I'm competent, supremely competent. I'm walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. I'm one of the great ones. I'm Michelangelo molding the beard of Moses. I'm Van Gogh, painting pure sunlight. I'm Horowitz, playing the Emperor Concerto. I'm John Barrymore before the movies got him by the throat. I'm Jesse James and his two brothers, all three of them. I'm W. Shakespeare. And out there it's not Third Avenue any longer. It's the Nile, Nat. The Nile and down it moves the barge of Cleopatra. Come here. Purple the sails, and so perfumed that the winds were love-sick with them; the oars were silver, Which to the tune of flutes kept stroke... HELEN Maybe he's at Morandi's or Nat's bar, or that place on Forty- second street? WICK What difference does it make? HELEN You're not really going, Wick. WICK I certainly am. HELEN But you can't leave him alone. Not for four days. WICK Yes I can. HELEN Oh. For heaven's sake, Wick. If he's left alone, anything can happen! And I'll be tied up at the office every minute. All Saturday. All Sunday. I can't look out for him. You know how he gets. He'll be run over by a car. He'll be arrested. He doesn't know what he's doing. A cigarette might fall from his mouth and he'll burn in his bed... WICK Oh, Helen. If it happens, it happens. And I hope it does. I've had six years of this. I've had my bellyful. HELEN Wick, you can't mean that. WICK Yes I do. It's terrible, I know, but I mean it. HELEN For heaven's sake, Wick... WICK Who are we fooling? We've tried everything, haven't we? We've reasoned with him, we've babied him. We've watched him like a hawk. We've tried trusting him. How often have you cried? How often have I beaten him up? We scrape him out of the gutter and pump some kind of self-respect into hims, and back he falls, back in, every time. HELEN He's a sick person. It's as though there were something wrong with his heart or his lungs. You wouldn't walk out on him because he had an attack. He needs our help. WICK He won't accept our help. Not Don. He hates us. He wants to be alone with that bottle of his. It's all he gives a hang about. Why kid ourselves? He's a hopeless alcoholic. DON The cloud-capp'd towers; the gorgeous palaces. Nat! The solemn temples, the great globe itself... NAT Mr. Birnam, you ought to go home. It's late. DON Yea, all which it inherit shall dissolve... NAT You ought to be home, on account of your brother. DON Who says so? NAT You said so. On account of you're going away somewhere, don't you remember? DON What time is it? NAT Ten past six. DON Well, why didn't you tell me? NAT What do you think I've been doing for a half an hour? Hey, hey, your change. (00:20:00)** ** WICK Taxi! Taxi! (to Helen) I'll give you a lift as far as Grand Central. HELEN No thanks. I'm gonna wait here. WICK You're crazy. HELEN Because I won't give up? Maybe I am. WICK Let go of him, Helen. Give yourself a chance. HELEN Goodbye, Wick. LETTER Don Dear: * *I waited for you to come home. Please be careful. Get some sleep. Eat. And call me, call me, call me, Helen ** NAT Hi. I thought you was going away for the weekend. DON Petes sake, what are you doing? Come on and give me a drink! NAT Right with you, Mr. Birnam. I'm just fixing myself some lunch. DON Well, stop it and come on and give me a drink, for heaven's sake. Come on, come on! NAT Okay. DON Can't you hurry it up a little? NAT Here you are, Mr. Birnam. That young lady stopped in last night, looking for ya. DON What young lady? NAT The one with the leopard coat. DON Yeah? NAT Yeah. She was acting like she just happened to drop in, but I know she was making the rounds after you. DON What did you say to her? NAT I said you hadn't been in for two weeks. DON That's good. I can't let her see me. Not now while I'm "off" like this. NAT Why don't you cut it short? DON Don't talk like a child. You can't cut it short! You're on that merry-go-round and you've got to ride it all the way, round and round, till the blasted music wears itself out and the thing dies down and clunks to a stop. NAT Hey, how about you eatin' some of this? DON Take it away. NAT You gotta eat somethin' sometime. DON Just give me another drink. NAT Mr. Birnam, this is the mornin'. DON That's when you need it most, in the morning. Haven't you learned that yet? At night, this stuff's a drink. In the morning, it's medicine. NAT Okay if I eat? DON A little to one side. Nat, are you ever scared when you wake up? So scared the sweat starts out of ya, huh? No, no you. With you it's simple. Your alarm clock goes off and you open your eyes and brush your teeth and read the Daily Mirror. That's all. Do you ever lie in you bed looking at the window? A little daylight's coming through, and you start to wonder: is it getting lighter, is it getting darker? Is it dawn or dusk? That's a terrifying problem, Nat. Because if it's dawn, you're dead. The bars are closed and the liquor stores don't open till nine o'clock, and you can't last till nine o'clock. Or it maybe Sunday. That's the worst. No liquor stores at all. And you guys wouldn't open a bar, not until one o'clock. Why? Why, Nat? (00:25:22)** ** NAT Because we gotta go to church once in a while. That's why. DON Yeah, when a guy needs it most. NAT What happened to those two quarts? You polish them off last night? DON What two quarts? NAT The two bottles you had. DON That's right, I did have two bottles, didn't I? I hid one of them. I've still got it. I'm a capitalist, Nat! I've got untapped reserves. I'm rich! NAT If you had enough money, you'd kill yourself in a month. GLORIA Say, Nat, was there a gentleman here...(to Don) Hello, Mr. Birnam. Didn't you go away for the weekend? DON Apparently not, Gloria. GLORIA Was there a gentleman here asking for me? NAT Not to my knowledge there wasn't. GLORIA Well, he was supposed to come around twelve o'clock. He's from Albany. DON Another friend of the folks? GLORIA More a friend of a friend of the folks type. A fellow called me about him. Wants me to show him the town. NAT Like Grant's Tomb for instance? GLORIA But def. NAT Hey, ain't it amazing, how many guys come down from Albany just to see Grant's Tomb? GLORIA Sometimes I wish you came from Albany. DON Yeah? Where would you take me? GLORIA Lots of places. The Music Hall, then the New Yorker Roof, maybe. DON There is now being presented at a theatre on Forty-Fourth Street, the uncut version of Hamlet. Now, I see us as setting out for that. Do you know Hamlet? GLORIA I know Forty-fourth Street. DON I'd like to get your interpretation of Hamlet's character. GLORIA I'd like to give it to you. DON Dinner later, I think. Nothing before. I want you to always see Shakespeare on an empty stomach. GLORIA Not even a pretzel? ALBANY Could I have a glass of water? NAT Why, sure. What'll it be for a chaser? ALBANY This is Nat's Bar, isn't it? NAT That's what the man said. ALBANY I'm looking for a young lady, name of Gloria. (to Gloria) Are you Miss Gloria? GLORIA Who, me? No, I'm not. I just live with Gloria. She's not here. ALBANY She isn't? GLORIA No, she's sick. She went to the hospital. Ruptured appendix. Middle of last night. Went like that! It scared the life out of me. ALBANY Oh, that's terrible. GLORIA Goodbye. ALBANY Goodbye. Could I have a word with you? GLORIA No thanks. Thanks a lot, but no thanks. ALBANY Oh. You're welcome, I'm sure. GLORIA Don't mensch. DON Nat! NAT Comin'. DON Now, Gloria. Wasn't that rather rude to send that nice man all alone to Grant's Tomb? GLORIA When i've got a chance to go out with you? Don't be ridic. DON Oh, is our engagement definite? GLORIA You meant it, didn't you? DON Oh. Surely, surely. GLORIA Well, I've gotta get a facial, a fingerwave, the works. Right now. You're going to call for me, aren't you? And, if so, what time? DON What time do you suggest? GLORIA How about eight? DON Eight's fine. GLORIA I live right in the corner house. You know where the antique shop is, the one with the wooden Indian outside? They got the Indian sign in me, I always say. DON I'll be there. GLORIA Second floor, front. Oh, Mr. Birnam, all I got is a semi-formal. Will that be all right? DON That'll be fine. GLORIA So long, Nat. DON Last one, Nat. Pour it softly, pour it gently, and pour it to the brim. NAT Look, Mr. Birnam, there a lot of bars on Third Avenue. Do me a favor, will ya, get out of here and buy it somewhere else. DON What's the matter? NAT I don't like you much. What was the idea of pulling her leg? You know you're not going to take her out. DON Who says I'm not? NAT I say so. You're drunk and you're just making with your mouth. DON Give me a drink. NAT And that other dame...I mean the lady. I don't like what you're doing to her either. DON Oh, shut up. NAT You should've seen her come in here last night. Lookin' for you with her eyes all rainy and her mascara all washed away. DON Give me a drink! NAT That's an awful high class young lady. DON You bet she is. NAT How the heck did she ever get mixed up with a guy who sops it up like you do? DON That's the problem, isn't it. That nice young man who drinks, and the high-class young lady, and how did she ever get mixed up with him, and why does he drink and why doesn't he stop? That's my novel, Nat. I wanted to start writing it out in the country. Morbid stuff. Nothing for the Book-of-the-Month Club. A horror story. The confessions of a booze addict, the log book of an alcoholic. Oh, come on, Nat, break down, will ya? Do you know what I'm going to call my novel? The Bottle...that's all. Very simply, The Bottle. I've got it all here in my mind. Let me tell you the first chapter. It all starts one wet afternoon about three years ago. There was a matinee of La Traviata at the Metropolitan. (00:32:51)** ** ATTENDANT Did you forget something? DON No. Just going home, if it's all right with you. ATTENDANT Say, this isn't yours, is it? DON It certainly isn't. ATTENDANT That's what it says though...Four seventeen. DON I don't care what it says. ATTENDANT The checks must have got mixed up. DON Maybe they did. Find me my coat. It's a plain man's raincoat and a derby. ATTENDANT Are you kidding? Do you know how many plain men's raincoats we have on a day like this? About a thousand. DON Well, let me get back there. I can find it. ATTENDANT No. Please, that's against regulations, sir. DON I am not going to wait here until the end of the performance. ATTENDANT Well, you can get your coat tomorrow. DON Tomorrow? ATTENDANT Yeah. DON Look, man, there's something in the pocket of that coat. I...Well, it so happens I find myself without any money and I need that coat. And I need it now! ATTENDANT Listen, if everybody went in there digging through those coats...There's regulations. There's got to be regulations. DON Then, what do you suggest? ATTENDANT Wait till the other party arrives, then swap. DON I want my coat. ATTENDANT As far as I'm concerned Mister, that's your coat. DON You're a great help. (to Helen) That's my coat you've got. HELEN And that's mine, thank heaven. They mixed up the checks. DON They certainly did. I thought you'd never come. HELEN Well you couldn't have waited so long. DON Only since the first aria of the first act. That's all. HELEN Do you always just drop in just for the overture? DON Goodbye. HELEN Oh, oh. Just a minute! Oh, my umbrella if you don't mind. DON Catch. HELEN Thank you very much. DON I'm terribly sorry. HELEN You're the rudest person I've ever seen. What's the matter with you? DON Oh, just rude I guess. HELEN Oh, really. Somebody should talk to your mother. DON They tried, Miss St. John. HELEN My name's not St. John. DON Well, St. Joseph then. HELEN St. James. DON First name Hilda or Helen, or Harriet, maybe? HELEN Helen. DON Alright, Helen. I also know that you come from Toledo, Ohio. HELEN You do? How? DON Well, I've had three long acts to work you out from that coat of yours. Initials, labels...Alfred Spitzer, Fine Furs, Toledo, Ohio. HELEN Maybe I should have explored your coat. DON But you didn't though. HELEN Didn't have time. DON Good. My name is Don Birnam. HELEN How do you do? DON Well, how do you like New York? HELEN Love it. DON You intend to stay long? HELEN Oh, sixty years, perhaps. I live here now. I've got a job. DON Doing what? HELEN Time Magazine. DON Oh. Time Magazine? Then perhaps you could do something for me. HELEN Yes. DON Could you help me become Man of the Year? HELEN Delighted. What do you do? DON Yes, what do I do? I'm a writer. I've just started a novel. As a matter of fact i've started several. But, I never seem to finish one. HELEN Well, in that case, why don't you write short stories. DON Well, I have some of those. First paragraph. Then there's one- half of the opening scene of a play which takes place in the leaning tower of Pisa. It tempts to explain why it leans. And why all sensible buildings should lean. HELEN They'll love that in Toledo. DON Oh, by the way, are you coming here to Lohengrin next week? HELEN I don't know. DON Because if you are, I'm not going to let this coat out of my hands. HELEN Don't worry. DON Oh, but I do. You know, to be really safe, we should go together. HELEN We could. DON Are you in the phone book? HELEN Yes, but I'm not home very much. DON Well, I'll call you at your office. HELEN Editorial Research. If Henry Luce answers, hang up. DON All right. Would you like a taxi? HELEN No, thanks. I'm taking the subway. DON Oh, very sensible. HELEN As a matter of fact, I'm going to an extremely crazy party on Washington Square. If you'll like, I'll take you along. DON Oh. Thank you very much, Miss St. James, but I have to see a friend uptown. HELEN Oh. Goodbye, Mr. Birnam. DON Goodbye. HELEN Who threw that? DON It fell out of my pocket. HELEN Do you always carry those things? DON Well, no. You see...that friend of mine, the one uptown, he has a slight cold and I thought I'd take this along and make him a hot toddy. HELEN Well, see that he gets a hot lemonade and some asprin. DON I shall. HELEN Goodbye. DON Bye. Oh, Miss St. James! HELEN Yes? DON What kind of a party was that you asked me to? HELEN A cocktail party. DON Invitation still stand? HELEN Of course. Come on. NAT Okay. So they go to that cocktail party and he gets stinko and falls flat on his face. DON He does not. By this time, he's crazy about that girl by then. He drinks tomato juice. Doesn't touch liquor for that whole week...for two weeks, for six weeks. NAT In love, huh? DON That's what's going to be hard to write. Love is the hardest thing in the world to write about. It's so simple. You've got to catch it through details, like the early morning sunlight hitting the gray tin of the rainspot in front of her house. The ringing of a telephone that sounds like Beethoven's Pastoral. A letter scribbled on her office stationery that you carry in your pocket because it smells of all the lilacs in Ohio. Pour it, Nat! He thinks he's cured. If he could only get a job now, they could be married and that's that. But it's not Nat. Not quite. Because one day, one terrible day. NAT Yeah? Go on. DON You see, this girl's been writing to her people in Toledo. They want to meet the young man. So they come to New York. They stay at the Hotel Manhattan. Their very first day, she's to introduce him to her parents. One o'clock. Lobby of the hotel... MR. ST. JAMES Just walked in for a simple haircut. No, that wasn't enough, not for New York. They gave me a shampoo, scalp massage and a manicure. Thought they were going to tear my shoes off and paint my toenails. MRS. ST. JAMES I had a lovely morning. Just did a little window shopping. Didn't want to get all tired out. MR. ST. JAMES On account of meeting that young man? Now, Mother. MRS. ST. JAMES Who did you get a haircut for? MR. ST. JAMES Wonder what's keeping Helen. MRS. ST. JAMES She'll be here. MR. ST. JAMES This Birnam fellow went to Cornell, didn't he? MRS. ST. JAMES I believe so. MR. ST. JAMES But he never graduated. I wonder why. How old is he? (00:40:01)** ** MRS. ST. JAMES Thirty-three. MR. ST. JAMES He has no job. As far as I can find out, he never had one. I wish Helen wasn't so vague. MRS. ST. JAMES Maybe he has a little money. Some people do, you know, Father. MR. ST. JAMES He ought to have a job anyway. MRS. ST. JAMES He's a writer. MR. ST. JAMES Writer? What did he write? I never heard of his name. MRS. ST. JAMES Now Father, relax. You always expect the worst. MR. ST. JAMES I hope he realizes that Helen's our only daughter and we ought to know a few things about him. MRS. ST. JAMES Those'll all come out...his background, his prospects, his church affiliations. DON Hotel Manhattan? Would you please page Miss Helen St. James? St. James. Yeah, she's in the lobby. Helen?...Don. Darling, I'm terribly sorry but I won't be able to get there for a while. Will you please go ahead and have your lunch and apologize to your parents...Oh, nothing serious. I'll be there. Goodbye. (to Wick) Turn off that light. WICK Don? DON Turn it off! WICK For heaven's sake, Don. I thought you were with Helen and her father and mother. What happened? Come on Don. DON I couldn't face it. WICK Couldn't face what? Didn't you go to see them? DON Certainly I went. One o'clock sharp. I saw them all right. Only they didn't see me. WICK How was that? DON Such nice, respectable people. I couldn't face them Wick, and all the questions they'd ask me. I just couldn't do it. Not cold. I had to have a drink first. Just one. Only the one didn't do anything to me. WICK So you had another and another. Oh, you poor idiot, Don. Won't you ever learn with you, it's like stepping off a roof and expecting to fall just one floor? DON Will you call her up Wick? Tell her something. Tell her I'm sick. Tell her I'm dead. Will you call? WICK Yes, I'll call. DON You know she must have written them a lot of nice things about me. What a gentleman I am. A prince. WICK Which hotel is it? DON The Manhattan. Mr. and Mrs. Charles St. James of Toledo, Ohio. WICK Get up, Don. (to Helen) Just a minute, Helen. HELEN Hello, Wick. Is Don here? WICK Don? No. HELEN Any idea where he could be? WICK Wasn't he meeting you? HELEN Oh, he was supposed to meet us for lunch, then he telephoned he'd be late. Mother's beginning to think I just made him up. Do you suppose something happened to him? WICK Nonsense. HELEN Oh. But surely he'd have called back; if her were all right. WICK Where did he call you from? HELEN I don't know. WICK I think I have got an idea. He called from out of town. HELEN Out of town? Where? WICK Philidelphia. HELEN What's he doing in Philadelphia? WICK Well, there's an opening on the Philadelphia Inquirer, the book section and Don wrote them, he wired them and I think this morning he just took an early train. HELEN Oh. Why, he didn't tell me a word about it. WICK I, I'm not supposed to tell you either. He wanted it to be a surprise. HELEN He did? WICK Yes, he, he probably couldn't meet the right people right away, missed a train. You know how it is. HELEN Oh, it would be just wonderful if he got the job and started working. Or would it, Wick, with him in Philadelphia and me in New York? Don't ever tell him I said that though, will you? WICK Of course not. HELEN I can never understand why somebody like Don, a person with such talent, such flashes of real brilliance...Maybe I'm a bit prejudiced. What are you doing, Wick? WICK Nothing. HELEN Where did that bottle come from? (00:45:00)** ** WICK It just rolled out. HELEN From under the couch. WICK Yes, Helen. You know it's my guess that Don caught an early train and... HELEN Is that Don's bottle? WICK What makes you think that? HELEN There was a bottle the first time we met. WICK There was? HELEN Fell out of Don's pocket. WICK That was for me, Helen. This one's mine too. You might as well hear the family scandal. I drink. Don thinks I drink too much. I had to promise to go on the wagon. That's why I hid the bottle so he wouldn't see it. HELEN Oh. I'm so sorry, Wick. I shouldn't have started asking questions. It's really none of my business. WICK Forget it, Helen. HELEN I better be getting back to the hotel. Don's probably there already. And don't worry, Wick, I won'T mention a word of it to him. WICK Thank you, Helen. HELEN Bye. WICK Bye. DON Helen. I'm sorry, Helen. I can't let you go. Not like this. HELEN Don! WICK Shut your mouth, Don. (to Helen) I'll take you downstairs. DON Thanks very much for your Philadelphia Story, Wick. Nice try. That looks so silly on you. WICK Don't listen to him. DON You don't even have to. Just look at the two of us. HELEN Yes. What is all this covering up? WICK All that happened is that Don was nervous at the idea of meeting your parents and so he took a couple of drinks. DON Come on, Wick, she'd have found out sooner or later. HELEN Stop it, both of you. Don's a little tight. Most people drink a little. A lot of them get tight once in a while. DON Sure. The lucky ones who can take it or leave it. But then there are the ones who can't take it and leave it either. What I'm trying to say is I'm not a drinker. I'm a drunk. They had to put me away once. WICK He went to a cure. DON Which didn't take. You see, that first time we met, I should have had the decency to get drunk, just for your sake. HELEN For my sake? We're talking about you. (to Wick) Is it really that bad, Wick? DON Yes, it is. WICK Can't we go over this tomorrow, Don, when you're feeling more like yourself? DON Helen's heard the facts. That's all there is to it. HELEN Yes, I've heard them and they're not very pleasant. But they could be worse. After all, you're not an embezzler or a murderer. You drink too much and that's not fatal. One cure didn't take. There are others. WICK Of course there are. DON This has a familiar ring. HELEN But, there must be a reason why you drink Don. The right doctor could find it. DON Look, I'm way ahead of the right doctor. I know the reason. The reason is me. What I am. Or, rather, what I'm not. What I wanted to become and didn't. HELEN What is it you want to be so much that you're not? DON A writer. Silly, isn't it? You know, in college I passed for a genius. They couldn't get out the college magazine without one of my stories. Boy, was I hot, Hemingway stuff. I reached my peak when I was nineteen. Sold a piece to the Atlantic Monthly. Reprinted in the Readers' Digest. Who wants to stay in college when he's Hemingway? My mother bought me a brand new typewriter, and I moved right in on New York. Well, the first thing I wrote, that didn't quite come off. And the second, I dropped. The public wasn't ready for that one. I started a third and a fourth...only by then, somebody began to look over my shoulder and whisper, in a thin, clear voice like the E-string on a violin. Don Birnam, he'd whisper, it's not good enough. Not that way. How about a couple of drinks just to set it on its feet, huh? So I had a couple. Oh, what a great idea that was. That made all the difference. Suddenly I could see the whole thing...the tragic sweep of the great novel, beautifully proportioned. But before I could really grab it and throw it down on paper, the drinks would wear off and everything would be gone, like a mirage. Then there was despair, and a drink to counterbalance despair, and one to counterbalance the counterbalance. And I'd sit in front of that typewriter, trying to squeeze out one page that was halfway decent, and that guy would pop up again. HELEN What guy? Who are you talking about? DON The other Don Birnam. There are two of us, you know: Don the drunk and Don the writer. And the drunk would say to the writer, come on, you idiot. Let's get some good out of that portable. Let's hock it. Let's take it to that pawn shop over on Third Avenue, it's always good for ten dollars, another drink, another binge, another bender and a spree. Such humorous words. I tried to break away from that guy a lot of times but, no good. You know once I even got myself a gun and some bullets. I was gonna do it on my thirtieth birthday. Here are the bullets. The gun went for three quarts of whiskey. That other Don wanted us to have a drink first. He always wants us to have a drink first. The flop suicide of a flop writer. WICK All right, maybe you're not a writer. Why don't you do something else? (00:50:00)** ** DON Sure, take a nice job. Public accountant, real estate salesman. I haven't the guts, Helen. Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. I can't take quiet desperation. HELEN But you are a writer. You have every quality for it. Imagination, wit, pity... DON Come on, let's face reality. I'm thirty-three, I'm living on the charity of my brother. Room and board free. Fifty cents a week for cigarettes. An occasional ticket to a show or concert, all out of the bigness of his heart. And it is a big heart and a patient one. WICK Now, Don, I've only been carrying you along for the time being. DON Shut up, Wick. I've never done anything, I'm not doing anything, I never will do anything. Zero, zero, zero. HELEN Now you shut up. We'll straighten it out. DON Look. Wick has the misfortune to be my brother. You just happened to walk in on this. Now if you know what's good for you, you'll turn around and walk out again and walk fast and don't turn back. HELEN Why don't you make some coffee, Wick? Strong, three cups. DON Look, Helen. Do yourself a favor. Go on, clear out. HELEN Because I've got a rival? Because you're in love with this? You don't know me, Don. I'm going to fight and fight and fight. Bend down. All right. DON That was three years ago, Nat. That's a long time to keep fighting, to keep believing. She knows she's clutching a razor blade but she won't let go. Three years of it. NAT And what? How does it come out? DON I don't know. Haven't figured that far. NAT Want me to tell ya? One day your guy gets wise to himself and gets back that gun. Or, if he's only got a buck then, he goes up to the Empire State Building, way up on top and then...or he can do it for a nickel, in a subway under a train. DON You think so, Nat? What if Helen is right, and this guy sits down and turns out something good...but good...and that pulls him up and snaps him out of it? NAT This guy? Not from where I sit. DON Oh, shut up, Nat. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it now. It's all there. You heard it. NAT Yes, Mr. Birnam. DON That's why I didn't go away on that weekend, see, so I can be alone up there and sit down at my typewriter. This time I'm going to do it, Nat. I'm going to do it. NAT Maybe you will. DON Thank you, Nat. Am I all paid up? NAT Yes, Mr. Birnam. DON Goodbye, Nat. I'm going home. This time I've got it. I'm going to write. NAT Good luck to you. ** BOOK TITLE PAGE THE BOTTLE A Novel by Don Birnam To Helen - With All My Love DON You had another bottle, you know you did. Where did you put it? You're not crazy. Where did you put it? MATCHBOOK HARRY'S AND JOE'S Where Good Liquor Flows 13 W. 52nd St. NY (00:55:26)** SONG It was so beautiful, so wonderful, the stars above us shone, we were alone, we were alone... DON Check please. WAITER Right here, sir. SONG The time was right, the moon was low, I held you tight, how could I let you go, It was so beautiful, so wonderful, so gorgeous, so divine... SONG And you were mine... WAITER Yes sir? DON Another gin vermouth, please. WAITER Yes, sir. SONG Mmm, you were mine... Nightime found us, happy nights around us, Church bells ringing, day is done, They'll be ringing when we've won, Evenings blessing, you and I caressing, Music, moonlight, melody, Only there for you and me, It was so beautiful, so wonderful, so gorgeous, so divine, And you were mine, And you were mine, It was so beautiful, so wonderful, the stars above us shone, We were alone, we were alone, The time was right, the moon was low... DON Thank you. SONG I held you tight, DON Where's your wash room? SONG How could I let you go, WAITER Over there, sir. ATTENDANT Hows about a carnation for your buttonhole? CUSTOMER No thank you. ATTENDANT Thank you, sir. (to Don) Wash your hands? DON Thank you. ATTENDANT All rightie, sir. DON Would you wipe my shoes? ATTENDANT Yes, sir. SONG Each little rose, held me at nose, I love you, love you, Every little beat that I feel in my heart, Seems to repeat what I felt at the start, Each little sigh... ATTENDANT Carnation, sir? DON I already took one. ATTENDANT You did? DON For a very kind lady. ATTENDANT Yes, sir. SONG Just to see you, hear you... DON Thank you. ATTENDANT Thank you, sir. SONG Brings joy I never knew, But to be so near you, Thrills me through and through, Ooh, Anyone can see what I wanted you kiss, It had to be but the wonder is this... WAITER That's him. SONG Can it be true... WAITER That's the man. HEADWAITER You were sitting here, sir? DON I beg your pardon. GEORGE You took this lady's bag, didntcha? HEADWAITER All right, let's have it. DON Of course. GEORGE Somebody call a cop. M.M. No, George, no. It doesn't matter as long as I have the bag. GEORGE Well, look in it. Maybe he took something. DON Ten dollars, to be exact. GEORGE Why I ought to kick your teeth in. M.M. George, George! He's drunk. HEADWAITER Come on. Get out of here. WAITER How about the check? DON That's why I had to borrow from the lady. I didn't have enough. I'll come back and pay the rest. HEADWAITER Don't you show your face in here again ever. Mike! WAITER Mike! HEADWAITER Take him out of here. SONG Somebody stole the purse, Everybody, Somebody stole the purse DON I assure you, I'm not a thief. I'm not a thief! SONG Somebody came and...he didn't even... (01:02:08)** ** DON Stop it, Helen, stop it, stop it. I'm all right. I just can't talk. Please, stop it. (to himself) You'll never make it. You'll never make that hock shop. It's a block and a half away. (01:04:23)** ** DON This isn't Sunday, is it? WOMAN Huh? DON I asked is this Sunday. WOMAN No, Saturday. Why? DON But, it's closed. Nothing else is closed. WOMAN Somebody passed away, most likely. MAN 1 What's the matter with you? DON Why are they all closed? They're all closed, every one of 'em. MAN 1 Sure they are. It's Yom Kippur. DON It's what? MAN 1 It's Yom Kippur, a Jewish holiday. DON It is? What you talking about? Then what about Kelly's and Gallagher's? MAN 1 They're closed too. We've got an agreement. They keep closed on Yom Kippur and we don't open on St. Patrick's. DON That's a good joke. That's funny, that's very funny. (to Nat) Nat. NAT Yeah, Mr. Birnam? What do you want? DON Let me have one, Nat. I'm dying. Just one. NAT I thought you was home writin' that book. DON They're playing a trick on me. A dirty trick, Nat. Give me one. I'll pay it whan I can. Only just don't let me die here. NAT No credit, and you know it. DON All right it's charity. I'm begging you. Give me one. NAT Yeah, one. One's too many and a hundred's not enough. That's all. DON Oh, come on Nat, come on. I'll let you have my typewriter. NAT I'm no writer. You're the writer. DON Please Nat. NAT Now go, go away. I mean it. Get outta here. GLORIA Who is it? Who is it? DON It's me. GLORIA Why, Mr. Don Birnam, as I live and breathe! Only if you're comin' for our date, you're a little late, aren't you, Mr. Birnam? And if you're comin' to apologize...no thanks. Thanks a lot, but no thanks. DON Gloria... GLORIA Save your saliva. I've had enough of you. Def, but def. What do you think I am? I break a business date. I buy me an evening purse, a facial, a new hair-do. Well, maybe you can do that to your ritzy friends. You can't to me, understand? (01:10:01)** ** DON Gloria. GLORIA Okay, what do you want, Mr. Don Birnam Esquire? DON I need some money. GLORIA You what? DON Could you let me have some money? GLORIA Say, you out of your mind? Don't be ridic. Get out of here. Make with those stairs, go on! I waited half the night like it was the first date I ever had. The other half I was crying. How much money? DON Could you let me have ten or five, or something? GLORIA I'll see. You look awfully sick, Mr. Birnam. Have you got a fever or something? DON I'm all right now. GLORIA Thank you a lot. You do like me a little, don't you, honey? DON Why, natch, Gloria. Natch. GLORIA'S MOM Gloria, who have you got out there? GLORIA Coming. GIRL It's a happy, happy, happy day... DON What's this place? Hey, you, what is this place? I'm talking to you. BIM Good morning, merry sunshine. How's your head? DON Where am I? What is this place? BIM This? This is the Hangover Plaza. DON What hospital is this? BIM Alcoholic Ward. How's your head? DON It aches. BIM Thought you had a fracture till we looked at the X-rays. Everything in one piece. Just a slight concussion. DON Why did they put me in the Alcoholic Ward? BIM Are you kiddin'? We took a peek at your blood. Straight applejack. Ninety-six proof. DON What day is it? BIM Sunday. Are these yours? You and the colored fellow were being undressed at the same time. They fell out of somebody's pants. DON They're mine. Are you a doctor? BIM I'm a nurse. Name of Nolan. They call me Bim. You can call me Bim. What's your name? DON Birnam. BIM What kind of Birnam? DON Don Birnam. BIM Where do you live? DON Two-o-nine East Fif...what do you need that for? BIM For the post card. DON What post card? BIM To your folks, so's they'll know where honey-boy is and can pick him up when he's feeling better. DON No address. BIM Okay. We'll get it out of the phone book, or the directory, or your wallet. DON Look, no postcard. Understand? Nobody's going to pick me up. BIM The management insists. If we let you guys go home alone a lot of you don't go home. You just hit the nearest bar and bounce right back again. What we call the Quick Richochet. DON Look, I'm as well as you are. I can get out of here right now. BIM Think so? DON Where are my clothes? BIM Downstairs. DON How do I get out of this place? BIM Right through there. GUARD Well, where do you think you're going? DON To get my clothes. GUARD Got you discharge? DON My what? GUARD Your release? DON I'm all right. Let me out. GUARD Get back there, go on. DON Keep your hands off me. BIM Birnam! Come here, Birnam. DON Is this a jail? BIM Well, this department...side of a halfway hospital, halfway jail. DON Listen, Bim, in my clothes there's five dollars. That's all for you if only you won't send that post card. BIM Nothing doing. DON I don't want anybody to know. BIM Your folks might as well get used to our little post cards. DON What are you talking about? BIM There'll be more of 'em. You'll be back. DON Oh, shut up. BIM Listen, I can pick an alky with one eye shut. You're an alky, you'll come back. They all do. Him, for instance, shows up every month, just like the gas bill. And the one there, with the glasses, another repeater. This is his forty-fifth time. Big executive in the advertising business. Lovely fellow. Been coming here ever since nineteen twenty-seven. Good old prohibition days. Say you should have seen the joint then. This is nothing. Back then we really had a turnover. Standing room only. Prohibition! That's what started most of these guys off. Whoopee! Now be a good boy and drink this. DON I don't want it. BIM Better take it. Liable to be a little floor show later on around here. Might get on your nerves. DON Floor show? BIM Ever have the D.T.'s? DON No. BIM You will, brother. DON Not me. BIM Like to make a little bet? After all, you're just a freshman. Wait'll you're a sophomore, that's when you start seeing the little animals. You know that stuff about pink elephants, that's the bunk. It's little animals. Little tiny turkeys in straw hats. Midget monkeys coming through the key-holes. See that guy over there? With him it's beetles. Come the night, he sees beetles crawling all over him. Has to be dark, though. It's like the doctor was just telling me, "Delirium is a disease of the night." Good night. (01:17:26)** NURSE Get the restraints and get the doctor. DOCTOR Get him to the violent ward. NURSE Over here doctor. Violent ward, get the elevator. (01:20:31)** ** DEVERIDGE Good morning. MILKMAN Shhh. DEVERIDGE Anything wrong up there? Anything wrong? Are you all right? HELEN Oh. I'm fine, thank you. DEVERIDGE Have you been there all night? HELEN I've been waiting for Mr. Birnam. DEVERIDGE Mr. Don Birnam? HELEN Yes. I suppose he stayed over night with some friends. He has some friends in Long Island. DEVERIDGE Now, now. What kind of story is that? HELEN I beg your pardon. DEVERIDGE I'm his landlady. I know what goes on in this house. I know Mr. Don Birnam. I knew all about him the first week they moved here, five years ago. Heard those bottles rattle in the garbage can. I know all about you. You're Helen St. James. Your working on the Time Magazine and you're his best girl. Well, I also know he's not staying with any friends in Long Island, he's off on another toot and you know I'm darned right. Now come on down and I'll make you some breakfast. HELEN I don't care for any breakfast, thank you. Nor do I care for that kind of talk, even supposing you're right. DEVERIDGE Which I am. I could have kicked him out fifty times. The last, when two taxi drivers dumped him into the entrance hall out cold on the floor. With all my tennants going in and out and children leaving for school. HELEN Please, please. DEVERIDGE Well, I didn't put him out. Not as long as his brother could pay the rent. You couldn't help liking him anyway. He's was so good looking. He had such nice manners. He always had a little joke. HELEN Stop talking about him as if he were dead. DEVERIDGE Best thing for you if he was. DON I want a quart of rye. Quick. PROPRIETOR Care if I take off my coat first? DON No. No cracks, no questions. Just a quart of rye. PROPRIETOR Be two fifteen. DON Come on. I need that liquor, I want it, I'm going to get it, understand. I'm going to walk out of here with that quart of rye, one way or another. (01:25:56)** ** DEVERIDGE Miss St. James?...He's back. He's upstairs, this is Mrs. Deveridge. Yes, he's back. Up in the apartment. I heard him yelling. HELEN Don, open the door. Open it, please. Don, won't you let me in? I know you're there. Please, open the door. Don, don't you hear me? I want to help you. Don, I won't go away. Do I have to go down and get the janitor with the pass key to let me in? DEVERIDGE Dave! Dave! DAVE Yes, Mrs. Deveridge? DEVERIDGE Come on up with the pass key. Come on, come on, come. HELEN Thank you very much. DEVERIDGE You'd better let us come too. You can't go in there alone. HELEN I'll be all right, thank you. DEVERIDGE Come Sophie. Let's go. HELEN Don, darling. DON Go away, Helen. HELEN I'm here to help you, Don. DON No, no. HELEN Look at you. You want to get up, Don. Put your arm on my shoulder. You'll have a bath and I'll help you shave and you'll eat and sleep, and when Wick comes back everything will be all right. DON No, Helen, don't look. HELEN What's the matter, Don? DON That wall. HELEN What wall? DON The mouse and the bat. HELEN Mouse and the bat? DON Yes, that hole in the wall right behind you. HELEN There's no hole in the wall, Don. DON Yes there is. HELEN No, there isn't. DON Yes. HELEN Don please, look for yourself. Come on. Come on Don, please look. You see? Everything's gonna be all right. I'll stay right with you. DON It's little animals. It's always little animals. That's what Bim said. HELEN You're not making much sense Don. DON You know what Nat said about the ending? Like this. Or like that. Like this or like that. HELEN Don! Don! Where are you going, Don? Don. (01:30:40)** ** HELEN All right, Don. Give me the pawn ticket. DON No scene, please. HELEN No scene. Just give me the pawn ticket. DON Look, I don't want you to go in there and claim it now. It would look queer. HELEN You're ashamed of what the pawn broker will think, is that it? It doesn't matter what I think. DON Wick'll get you back your coat. HELEN You couldn't have taken my bracelet or my pay check? It had to be that coat? DON You mean the one that brought us together? Stop being sentimental. HELEN Oh, I have Don, I assure you. It's finished. It's dead. For three years they couldn't talk me out of you. I was the only one that really understood you. I knew there was a core of something...well there is a core, and now I know what it is. A sponge. And to soak it full you'll do anything that's ruthless, selfish, dishonest. DON I asked you not to make a scene. HELEN Then give me the ticket. DON No, Helen, not now, please. HELEN I don't want the money. You can get as drunk as you like for all I care. DON Thank you. HELEN A gentleman was here a while ago. How much did you give him for that coat? PAWN BROKER Why? HELEN Well, I want it back. It's my coat. PAWN BROKER It's your coat? HELEN Oh, it's all right. He had my permission. How much did you give him? PAWN BROKER He didn't want any money. He wanted to swap it. HELEN Swap it? For what? PAWN BROKER Oh, something he hocked here a long while back. HELEN What? PAWN BROKER A gun. HELEN A gun? PAWN BROKER Now if you want that coat I can a... DON'S LETTER As for the survivors, dear old Wick, I'd recommend no flowers, and few good jokes. Goodbye, Don. DON What is it, Helen? What's the matter? HELEN Nothing. Dave gave me the keys, I didn't think you were here. DON What do you want here? HELEN It's just that the rain is worse and I couldn't get a taxi. I thought perhaps I could borrow a...a coat under the circumstances. DON Sure. How about my raincoat? HELEN Funny, that we should wind up after all these years just as we met, I with your raincoat... DON And I with your leopard coat. I always got the best of the bargain. Goodbye, Helen. What are you looking for? HELEN Well I thought perhaps, maybe you might have something for my hair. DON Would you care to wear my black derby? HELEN Any old thing, any old scarf. DON All right. Here you are. HELEN Thank you. DON So long. HELEN Do you know Don, there was still some whiskey left in the bottle after I cleaned up last night. DON Was there? HELEN Wouldn't you like to know where I put it? DON Nope. HELEN Don't you want a drink, Don? DON No. HELEN Here it is, right here. Why don't you have one. Just one. DON What are you up to? HELEN Nothing. I'm just ashamed of the way I talked to you, like a narrow-minded, insensitive, small-town teetotaller. DON I told you, I don't feel like a drink. Not now. HELEN Come on, Don. Just one. I'll have one with you. I'm in no hurry. This is my easy day at the office. DON Look Helen, there are a few things I want to put in order before Wick comes. HELEN Let me stay please. DON No.I don't want to sound rude but, I'm afraid you'll have to leave now. (01:35:05)** HELEN Here Don. DON You're very sweet. Goodbye. Don't let me bend for nothing. HELEN You need this, Don. Drink it. I want you to drink it. I'll get you some more. I'll get you all you want. DON What kind of talk is that? HELEN It's just that I'd rather have you drunk than dead. DON Who wants to be dead? HELEN Stop lying to me. DON Give it to me. All right. Now go! No fuss, please. No calling the neighbors. It won't do any good, I promise you. HELEN I won't. You've made up your mind. But could you tell me why? Why? DON Because it's best all around, for everybody. For you, for Wick, for me. HELEN But that's not true. We love you, Wick and I. DON All right. Then for me. Selfish again. HELEN That's a sad final word, Don. DON Look at it this way, Helen. This business is just a formality. Don Birnam is dead already. He died over this weekend. HELEN Did he? What did he die of? DON Of a lot of things. Of alcohol, of moral anemia, of fear, of shame, of D.T.'s. HELEN Oh, that Don Birnam. And now you want to kill the other one. DON What other? HELEN There were two Dons. You told me so yourself. Don the drunk and Don the writer. DON Let's not go back to a fancy figure of speech. There's only one Don, he's through. HELEN Don. DON I'm all right, I have enough strength left... HELEN I know you have. I can see it. Don't waste it on pulling a trigger, Don. DON No, let me get it over with or do you want me to give you another one of my promises that I never keep? HELEN I don't want you to give me your promise, I don't want you to give your promise to anybody but Don Birnam. DON It's too late. I wouldn't know how to start. HELEN The only way to start is to stop. There is no cure besides just stopping. DON Can't be done. HELEN Other people have stopped. DON People with a purpose, with something to do. HELEN You've got talent and ambition. DON Talent. Ambition. That's dead long ago. That's drowned. That's drifting around with a bloated belly on a lake of alcohol. HELEN No it isn't. You still have it. DON Quit trying to stall me Helen. It's too late. There's no more writing left in me, it's gone. What do you expect, a miracle? HELEN Yes, yes, yes! If I could just make you... DON Who is it? NAT It's me, Mr. Birnam. DON What is it, Nat? NAT I got somethin' for you, Mr. Birnam. I hope I ain't intrudin. DON What is it? NAT You know when you had that accident? Afterward I found this floatin' around on the Nile. She writes pretty good. I oiled her up a little. And I didn't oil her up so you can hock her. HELEN I'll take it, Nat. NAT Hello, Miss. DON Thank you, Nat. NAT How are all them lilacs in Ohio? HELEN Well Don, here it is. What do you say now? DON Say about what? HELEN This. Someone, somewhere, sent it back. Why? Because he means you to stay alive, because he wants you to write. I didn't ask for a big miracle. DON Write! With these hands? And a brain that's all out of focus? HELEN It'll clear up again. You'll be well. DON And I'll be sitting there staring at that white sheet, scared. HELEN No you won't. You've forgotten what it feels like to be well. DON What am I gonna write about? What? HELEN What you've always wanted to write. Where was the page I found? "The Bottle. A Novel by Don Birnam," What was that to be? DON About a messed-up life. About a man and a woman and a bottle. About nightmares, horrors, humiliations, all the things I want to forget. HELEN Put it all down on paper. Get rid of it that way. Tell it all, to whom it may concern. And it concerns so many people, Don. DON Yeah. HELEN I'll fix us some breakfast. DON We have quite a supply of milk. You'll notice I didn't even find a first line. HELEN Course you couldn't write the beginning because you didn't know the ending. Only now...Only now you know the ending. DON I'm gonna send one copy to Bim, one to the doctor who loaned me his coat, and one to Nat. Imagine Wick standing in front of a book store. A great big pyramid of my books. A Novel by Don Birnam. "That's by my brother, you know." HELEN That's by my fellow. Didn't I always tell you? DON I'm going to put this whole weekend down, minute by minute. HELEN Why not? DON The way I stood in there, packing my suitcase...Only my mind wasn't on the suitcase, and it wasn't on the weekend, nor was it on the shirts I was putting in the suitcase either. My mind was hanging outside the window. It was suspended just about eighteen inches below...And out there in that great big concrete jungle, I wonder how many others that are like me. Poor bedevilled guys, on fire with thirst. Such comical figures to the rest of the world, as they stagger blindly towards another binge, another bender, another spree... THE END